It’s all about respect. If he doesn’t respect you he won’t treat you well.

Women often make a big mistake of not standing up to men when they are being treated poorly.  Establishing what you will and won’t tolerate in a relationship is easiest at the outset.  Dating advice experts tell women that the very first time you are disrespected is when you should hit it out of the park and let him know what your boundaries are.  After you are in love it makes it harder and harder to establish respect.

One of the ways men disrespect women on text message is when they ignore her, call her names, or only talk to her on text message.  If your man is treating you poorly text message antics is one of the first surefire ways to detect it.  Have you ever had a guy try to ask you out purely through text message?  That sort of underhanded treatment doesn’t fly. 

What about when he strings you along on text.  He can never talk or call back but dribbled out a flaky text.  The way he acts on text message is an easy way to discern if he is interested in you or just throwing you crumbs here and there to keep you around in the background.

There is no excuse for a mans bad behavior and no reason why a woman should tolerate it.  If you don’t respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself then nobody will.  If you stand up for yourself you will feel good about yourself and your man will treat you better as well.  Respect is best set out clearly at the beginning of a relationship.  It’s always easiest to establish that boundary at the first sign of bad behavior.   But even if you have to pick your respect up off the floor somewhere deep into the relationship it is worth doing.  If you don’t have good boundaries and self respect your relationship was doomed anyways.

Show that you like yourself

One of the main things that standing up to your man shows is that you like yourself.  You are not willing to blame yourself for everything and if something is his fault you won’t let him get away with it.  Unfortunately many women think that letting their guy get away with a free pass to be mean and disrespectful will help to keep him around.  In reality being mellow about letting bad behavior to slide just trains him that bad behavior slides.  That’s all it does.  It won’t gain you an advantage with him and in fact it will only help him learn he can take advantage of you.

The sooner you refuse to accept bad behavior the sooner he will realize that you like yourself.  If you know you deserve better than he is going to respect you more.   He may go off and sulk for a while but if you establish clear do’s and don’ts as to what is cool with you then his behavior will likely change.  Surprisingly, his respect for you will increase if you are able to stand up for yourself.

Create attraction

Men aren’t attracted to women they can walk all over.  If you have good self respect and ethical boundaries it is going to make him attracted to you.  If you don’t respect yourself, then your man will be too tempted to take advantage of such a person. 

One of the ways women let themselves be taken advantage of is that they let too many of his wrongdoings slide in an attempt to be nice.  Being nice does not always create attraction though.  If you allow yourself to be dissed then men are going to treat you any way they want and actually disrespect you.  It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.  What you allow, they will do.  If you allow yourself to become his last minute back up date then he’ll only call you as his last minute back up date because he knows he can.

If on the other hand a woman develops a strong back bone and refuses to put up with rude comments and disrespectful behavior from men then it shows that she has respect for herself.  The minute you put your foot down and tell him that a behavior is unacceptable is the minute that he is going to know you respect yourself.  It’s a natural human nature phenomenon that if you respect yourself he will respect you too.  You might think he’ll leave but trust me he won’t leave a woman with self respect as quickly as he’ll leave a woman without it.

Fear of loss works

Some women hesitate to head for the door when they are mistreated.  There is so much competition for eligible men on the Internet dating web sites.  This is especially when you are an older woman or single mother whi is too scared of being single and will tolerate lousy treatment.  The danger of this fear of being unwanted is that you become his doormat will stay because you’re scared he’ll leave.  The second he figures this out he is going to walk all over you and leave anyways when you don’t do exactly what he wants.

The instant you start to stand up for yourself he will realize you aren’t going to stay around for bad behavior.  You aren’t scared to be alone and face it.  If he continues to be a jerk towards you then he knows you might leave.  It’s really counter-intuitive but men respond to fear of loss.  If they outright know a women might leave them then they are going to be more likely to behave better.  If they wanted to split up with you anyways then they might use this as excuse to bail out.  But if they are really interested in you and you radically reject bad behavior they will shape up to keep you.

In other words, standing up for yourself is more likely to dictate him trying harder to make things work than it is likely to dictate him leaving.   If it’s clear to a man that he’s behaviing badly and you’re radically rejecting that behavior it is going to make him feel like he is a disappointment.  This gives him a challenge to have to shape up or ship out and men love challenges.

Radically rejecting bad behavior challenges him to be good

If you reject bad behavior and challenge him to treat you better and he makes attempts to do that then you should show him all the appreciation you can.  If he pleases you then show him that you will stay around for that sort of treatment.  If he thinks you might leave and be out of there he might sulk initially but eventually he will snap into trying to keep you happy.  Men love to please women so if you put him up to a challenge of pleasing you then he’s likely to try and earn your affection back.


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