Knowing when to cut him (her) off

One of the main reasons women (and men) get into this psychoanalysis of texting, and obsession with did her text did she text, etc., is that they are belaboring a relationship that does not exist.  No matter how bad you want to keep texting this person in hopes of salvaging a relationship, sometimes the best thing to do of all is simply cut them off.

Cutting them off should occur when they break up with you for pretty much any reason whatsoever.  If they broke up with you, there is zero point in keeping contact, you will not be able to remain friends for probably six months or more because you are still enmeshed, hoping to engage, them, and just involved in it.

If a man (or woman) stops contacting you, either by flaking out, slowly fading out, outright rejecting you, announcing he is seeing other women and won’t stop, or whatever, there is no better way to handle it than just cutting them off.  There are so many women and men who will try to stay in contact, or wait the obligatory few weeks to them rear their heads up again an initiate contact.  Ultimately, initiating contact will not help the relationship, other than exposing yourself to being used yet again by a person who has made it clear through their words, actions or non-actions that they are not interested in you.

If you contact someone who has blown you off like a month later.  This person is going to respect you even less.   They probably know that you waiting x amount of time to contact them, and forever more they will know that they can treat you poorly and you will still come around.  A man or woman who has blown off a partner and then gets contacted by that person is going to respond with a very heavy dose of apathy.  They are going to sigh, and not be surprised that there you are crawling back out of your woodwork trying to interact with … someone who has rejected you!  It is not an attractive quality to do that.  And it is never to late to change.  Even if you hound a guy (or gal) for months, it is never too late to just throw in the towel and cut that person off.

You’ll find that even if this person does respond, it is going to be a hanging by the thread response.  They might take a while to respond, or suggest getting together, which, since you are the one taking them up by contacting them, you should probably not respond to.  Why get together with somebody who clearly rejected you, hasn’t spoken to you, and thinks it is fine to go months without ever trying to contact you?  They might hold a mild interest in having some physical liaisons with you but trust me they are not going to be very interested.

I’ve only ever heard of one situation of a girl contacting a guy after a few months of a breakup, and him wanting to get back together.  So it is possible, but in this case, the guy practically proposed and jumped on the chance to resurrect the relationship and fix the problems.  So not only is it rare to have a relationship fix itself by you contacting somebody that dumped you, if it does happen, it is going to be really obvious that the man (or women) is interested in giving you what you want in the relationship.  Furthermore, he probably would have contacted her eventually anyways.

Just trust the fact that if a man (or woman) wants you back, they are going to go out of their way to resolve issues with you.  If anything, the fact they disappear for months demonstrates their sheer disinterest in you.  Don’t assume well they didn’t know that you wanted to talk and use that as an excuse to chase.  If they treated you poorly, and saw other people while dating you, they know exactly why they were cut off.

If someone is going to cut you off, let them live with that decision.  It is unlikely that cutting them off is going to make them want to have you back.  But if you chase after being rejected or ignored it makes you look pathetic, needy and insecure.  And whenever you are pathetic, needy and insecure you are increasing the chances that somebody is going to continue to walk all over you.  Why, because they can.

Cutting someone off as a tactic to get them back or make them miss you is generally a bad scene.  It is just game playing.  Chasing after them might get them to come around and give you a piece of dirt relationship where they pick you up and drop you whenever they feel the whim to.  This might get you the guy (or gall) for a while longer, but eventually resentment will build and you will find yourself right back in the hole you were in with this person.

Most of the time, when you’ve got a person who is disinterested on text to the point where you are searching google and landing here, you are better off facing up to the disinterest and cutting off the relationship.  Believe it or not, no relationship is better than a crumb relationship where you are taken for granted and blown off regularly.

Attempting to reconnect after you have been ignored, dumped or rejected, comes across as needy and desperate which are incredibly unattractive traits to be exhibiting.  You need to have really good boundaries and cut off men that are using you (or women that are using you). You might be able to be their friend at a much later time when you are no longer emotionally invested, but that’s a long time from now.

Cut him off


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