Love is … never texting him?

Are you texting your man so much that it is encouraging him to pull away?Men don’t like to be chased.  Texting fosters chasing.  Ergo, a common problem for women.  Many women love to text and they use texting to flirt, bond, get closer to, touch base with, and connect with a man they are interested in.  When a woman is interested in a particular man and also has a tendency to text frequently, she is in danger of texting too much and becoming the pursuer in the relationship. 

Being pursued on text is a total turn off for men.  Ladies if you want him to chase you and not the other way around, read these dating and texting tips and observations.  Hopefully they will help you to think before texting him and sabotaging a promising romance by becoming the one chasing him … away.

In relationships, women text men out of emotion

Women like to text as a way to keep in constant communication with their love interest.  It’s emotionally based and they will text just to text.  It feels good to the women to do this, but it can quickly become an irritant to a man.  For this reason, it is usually best to keep your texting consistent with his texting.  If initiating text conversations and texting more than he is, it may be out of emotions and such texts may drive him away rather than bond the two of you stronger.

In relationships, men text women out of logic

Texting for men is more logic based.  Men usually have an agenda. The agenda can be simple and pretty much binary: want to see her, don’t want to see her or make plans, don’t make plans.  At the outset of a relationship when a mans interest level is the highest he might develop a slushy stomach for a woman and text frequently but this usually doesn’t last.  Once they get to know you men are more likely to text for a reason.  They want to flirt and use text as a way to do foreplay for example.  Or they want to make a plan and they use text to set up a time to see you or confirm details.  They even use text as a convenient way to juggle and manage women they date since texting doesn’t involve having to call.  They can text while they are busy without having to get to a quiet place for a phone conversation.

Texting him all the time removes the feminine energy of letting him contact you

Texting can come off as working too hard.  If for example, a man is busy or only mildly interested in you and you continue to text him he might become resistant to being pursued and withdraw.  If you are texting to convince your man that he should communicate more with you or spend more time with you then it is unlikely he will be responsive. 

He needs to feel something inside himself that he wants to get in touch with you and if he does feel it then he will contact you.  If you take that away from him by preemptively texting him all the time it erodes your feminine energy and makes you the pursuer.  He won’t like that after a while. Talking and texting about feelings will not get him to talk and text about feelings nor will it get him to have more feelings for you. If anything it just sets yourself up to being tuned out and facilitates a bad outcome.

Texting him does not faciliate his desire and feeling to want more with you

A mans tempo or desire to be in a relationship has little to do with texting.  Texting him will not create that desire and feeling that he needs to choose to contact you and spend time with you.  You’re better off removing yourself from texting.  If you don’t hear from him, he may not have been very interested in you in the first place and in the long run you’ll be saving yourself time and energy to drop him.

Texting him to the point of annoyance will make him lose respect

A common scenario is that a man is only mildly interested in a woman.  So, he becomes annoyed when this particular woman starts to text him too much.  He might act like he is busy and just annoyed by your texts.  That might be true that he is busy but women’s intuition rules.   When a man wants to make time for a woman the time appears.  If you think he is distancing himself, more than likely he is.  Texting him all the time really won’t change it and it is best to let him either get closer to you or distance himself without trying to convince him of anything.  Let him choose.

If he is always too busy he might well be pursuing other women.  No matter how insecure that makes a woman feels she should not try to close the gap by texting him more.  If he tells you he’s busy or becomes put off by your text he will lose respect for you if you don’t stop.  Once he loses respect he won’t care about your feelings and will use your texting as the reason to drop contact with you.  The real reason is that he is more interested in other women but you’ll be giving him a reason to dump you on a silver platter.  He’ll simply decide that you were badgering him too much and blame it on you.

If he is inclined to see other women all the texting in the world won’t stop it

If a man is inclined to see other women then all of the texting in the world won’t stop him from carrying on with his agenda.  The more you chase after him on text the more he’ll chase after women that aren’t you.  He was going to do what he was going to do anyways.  Texting him all the time will not stop him from going on his merry way.

Being available on text teaches him that he can be lazy and not call you

A man will treat a woman as poorly as she allows him to.  The more dismissive behavior you put up with, the more he learns to dole it out.  If you accept texting as a way of making plans with him, he is going to make plans with you on text.  If you accept texting as a way to communicate with him, he is going to communicate with you on text.  

Saying No and radically rejecting bad behavior is the only way to get a man responsive.  You have to have good boundaries as a woman and if you do he will adhere to them.  Once you let a boundary be violated it becomes more difficult to reestablish that boundary.  For example, if you let him text you after an evening out and come visit you late at night all arranged by text message, than that is the way in which he thinks he can see you. 

Relationship skills and having good boundaries

Setting boundaries is an important relationship skill that women need.  It does more than just weed out the creeps and the men who are not interested in you.  It actually garners respect from men.  If you think you are worthy of love and attention then so will he. 

Having good boundaries by the way does not mean being mean.  It just means it pays to sit back, let him take the initiative, embrace a more feminine role, and simply being good company when he does contact you so hopefully he will continue to do that.   Lastly, if you keep texting to a minimum he’ll be more inclined to call you.


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