When you use mirroring as a dating technique what you are doing is observing the other persons behavior. Then, in a very subtle way, you strategically start to act the very same way they are acting. One of the simplest tried and true dating skills is to mirror the behavior of the person you are dating. You might think it’s phony to try and change or wrap your behavior around mirroring theirs, but in reality, mirroring can help you increase of the comfort zone between you. Having a comfortable communication pace can even lead to an increased attraction.
Psychologists often examine mirroring and when doing so they are most often like to look at body language. Positive body language can be considered direct eye contact, smiling eyes, a relaxed facial expression, uncrossed open body posture. Negative body language includes limited eye contact, distraction, and tension in the brows. If you think about body language in terms of texting, what conclusions can you draw?
Well, positive texting language would be that this person responds to your texts, acts interested, and texts you, just as much as you text them. Negative text language implies that this peron texts you less, is not positively responding to your texts, acts too busy to respond at all, or seems annoyed with you when they respond to your texts.
If you apply mirroring to your text behavior, it can benefit you in two ways. First of all, you’ll be determining the actual resting pace of the true interest level the other person has in you. You can get a finger on the pulse of where they stand in their relationship with you.
All you need to do is adjust your text messages to be in pace with theirs. That means, sending approximately the same number of texts to each other. If they are responsive to your texts and interested, then you can mirror that by responding to their texts with equal interest. If their texts slow down, your texts slow down. When you do this it enables you to clearly to see the tempo of your communications rather than obscuring the reality by sending out too many of your own texts.
Now, you might think this is phony behavior. If you want to talk to this person by texting Hi every single day, and they only want to text you once every few weeks, you are not mirroring. In this scenario you text daily so you don’t really get a good idea of their true interest level. You’re just making constant noise and every once in a while they deign to respond to it.
When in doubt about your relationship status, adopt a mirroring strategy. Not only will you more clearly see your relationship status, you will be holding hands with the partner. Wouldn’t you rather be holding hands with the person by virtue of relatively equal texts, than pulling the person with more texts or pushing the person away with less texts?
If you text at the same pace as your partner, there is peace, quiet and a basic equal tempo. Both in dating advice self help books, and on various the dating advice web site, the advice they give is that when in doubt, mirror what the other person is doing. It will let you see the relationship for what it is, and pace yourself to the person in a non-threatening manner.
Even if you have to discover the disappointing news that this person isen’t as into you as you thought, its better than deluding yourself with a bunch of text noise. For all you know, its the text noise thats driving him or her away. When in doubt, apply the mirroring strategy to your texting. Let them set the frequency and pace and see where you are really at.
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