Moving past your one big text fight

Some couples fight over and over and over on text about the same issue.  If you think about it, the issue that you’re text fighting about may never really get resolved.  If you start a habit of fighting on text, then text spats may just become habitual and it could be very hard to break the vicious cycle once it gets established.  You may need to agree to disagree.  When text rants escalate into name calling and yelling in capital letters, you may want to draw the line and disengage. 

Stick to the problem that is bothering you

If you are really upset and fighting about a certain topic take heed.  Don’t fight about superfluous matters.  You might not really want to get to the core of what is bothering you.  If you discuss the symptoms not the problems it could damage the emotional health of the relationship.  For example, if you’re fighting about your boyfriends drunken weekly golf night but your real concern is that you feel like you’re being left out of his social life then you need to back off.  Stick to the topic of you and him, and not the tangent of his boys night out.  Likewise, if she is blowing you off don’t insult her looks or superfluous things because you’re upset.

If the fight gets nasty, back off

If one person is getting nasty on text it is bad enough.  If two people are getting nasty in a text world war rant, then it’s unacceptable.  Think of yourself as fighting in front of friends, family or children.  Would you say the things that are being said in the presence of others?  If you feel that your text fight is getting out of hand to the point where it would be sheer embarrassment if others overheard these comments or read your texts, then consider removing yourself.  Even falling silent for a while beats saying the irreversible.

Be amenable to disagree or compromise for success

Before letting the insults continue to fly, try to think about a formula for success.  You don’t want to wreck a relationship do you?  You want a win win situation for yourself not world war three on text message.   If you argue about something that you hate and then he can’t stand it when you complain about it, you’ll drive yourself crazy.  An example is when you argue with him because he won’t respond to your text where meanwhile he is being driven to hate you because you won’t stop text pestering him.  It may be more productive to agree to disagree.  Maybe you could hold your text tongue and try to talk about it or work it out the next time you get together.


You may not get your way.  You may not get the person you are with to communicate with you in the way that you wish to be communicated with.  Your choices are to leave the relationship or introduce more compromise and negotiation.  It’s shouldn’t be 50/50 it should be 100/100.  You may have to sacrifice some things to be together.  If you’re with a girl who acts catty on text, you might need to stop texting her.  Instead of insisting she do this or that, you might have to deviate from your beliefs and introduce some balance.  Sometimes, it is what it is.  People find it hard to change so don’t expect to move heaven and earth with a person.

Don’t give ultimatums

Ultimatums usually don’t work.  Negotiations always work better.  If you are throwing out the you need to do this or else type text messages then you are breaking your relationship down.  You’re going to wind up hurt, broken up, or making quick irrational threats and decisions.  Ultimately you won’t get what you want.

Because texting is such a commonplace communication medium between couples, it is quite often the venue for arguing with each other for one reason or another.  Try not to make arguments on text message a habit between you and a love.  If you do, you’ll be failing to deal with the real conflict.  Be willing to do something dramatic to break the cycle.  Even if that something means discontinuing text as a means of communication.  If it’s wrecking your relationship, think twice.


This entry was posted in Text Rants and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *