Selling yourself short is a really bad thing to do. Don’t tell a man why you aren’t good enough for him. The second you do that, you are giving him reasons and rationalizations as to why he should demote you into a casual relationship box forever more.
Women do this self-deprecating stuff all the time and it is a big mistake. It leads to and even nurtures lousy relationships, relationships that exist only on text, booty-call relationships and friends with benefits. Even if you know what you shortcomings are in this life, you don’t have to shine a flashlight on it.
Dump the negative attitude and the toxic drama
If you tell him, I have too much baggage, or ask him if you are too old, or have issues because you are overweight, or tell him he is our of your league, this is all a big mistake. Not only does it put yourself down, it also gives him ammunition because he knows your value in the general dating market place is lower. He can use that to manipulate you. He knows that if you have to go out and find someone else you will have fewer opportunities because you’ve admitted this to him. Why do you do that? Nothing positive will result. It shows that you lack confidence and do not think positively of yourself.
There is no reason to advertise your shortcomings to a guy. It puts ideas in his head, it puts yourself down, and it makes him take advantage because he gets the notion that you won’t be able to find someone else so easy therefore you will put up with him cheating, playing around on you, dating others, etc. Once he knows that you would rather put up with his shenanigans than be alone your goose is cooked.
Don’t sell yourself short as it leads to poor treatment
You might think that putting yourself down or advertising your shortcomings just means you are being honest. But all it does is devalue you in his eyes. He doesn’t need to know how you can’t find or get a guy and how he is like a drink in the desert. He doesn’t need to know you have no friends. He doesn’t need to know you think your life situation sucks. He doesn’t need to know how bad you hate being single. He doesn’t need to know that your ex boyfriend cheated on you. He doesn’t need to know that you always get down-notched to casual relationships with men and you don’t know why. Don’t tell him about how you ex-husband doesn’t pay his child support. He doesn’t need to know that your family is not on speaking terms. Does he really need to know the current toxic legal feud you are in?
Guess what, he will find out most of this stuff eventually so why advertise it with a neon sign in the beginning? It makes you look like a woman of low self-esteem. What you should focus on is eliminating all negative commentary. Think about it for a second, is he not texting you back because all you do is complain on the text message airwaves all the time? Same thing. It’s negativity and it will definitely make him not like you and lose attraction fast.
Don’t be negative, work on the positives instead
If you are that negative, you should probably try to work on some of your issues and get yourself to a much happier place. Guys and girls too, want to be brought up in life. They want to meet someone who brings positivity and good karma to them. It feels good to be around somebody that is happy with their life, happy with their situation, and can go out and have a good time without core-dumping, complaining, whining, or being negative. If you put yourself down and sell yourself short its a big sign that you are a Debbie downer. Don’t expect this to be the savior guy that lifts you out of your funk.
As for negative stuff you should never overwhelm him. Obviously he is going to find out all about this stuff as he actually gets to know you. The point is, don’t throw a teepee of red flags in a circle around you from the get go. Let him get to know all the positive aspects of you too. That way, when he looks at all your shortcomings which no doubt he will discover, he has your positive side figured out too. If the positives outweigh the negatives you should be fine.
Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t cut yourself down. Don’t reveal all these negative things about yourself without giving him a chance to know the good sides of you. It’s not about being a phony it’s about being able to focus on the positives in life rather than the negatives. Men are extremely attracted to positive women. So even if he sees you have all sorts of problems and situations you are dealing with, he also sees that you have the right attitude and he likes that.
If you sell yourself short he just sees this yucky presentation of what you are about. He sees that not even you think you are good enough for him. This only gives him an ego boost and encourages him to date you while continuing to look for higher value women who don’t have your issues, baggage, employment problems, whatever. Paint a picture of yourself with more positives and more to offer a man, than negatives. If this picture is fake then think about going off on your own to get your house in order and get more positive things going in your life than negative ones. Work on adjusting you attitude to a fun-loving, spirited girl who enjoys life and is fun to be around. Once you have that going on you are going to be way more attractive to him.
Don’t tolerate poor treatment because you can’t do better
One of the reasons women get stuck in these disgusting text message relationship situations is that they completely sell themselves short believing they can’t do better. So they stick with the lousy situation they are in because they know if they start making demands they will get dumped. In turn they put up with worse and worse behavior from men because the men pick up on the fact that there is no self-esteem so they just take advantage because they are allowed to. Then when you finally snap out of it and say hey wait a minute i deserve some respect and not sleeping with other women and me at the same time, they refer back to your Debbie downer list and throw it back in your face. Oh, you want me to keep my commitments well why should I when i can find someone younger, hotter and more loaded than you? Why should I commit to a woman who can’t stop complaining, they say. Thank goodness you told him you feel old, ugly and you are broke because now he really has some ammunition to cut you down with. Think twice because you complained and were negative and he stored away everything you said and mimics is back to you as the reason he can’t be your boyfriend. LOL!
It’s not about living a I’m so happy lie to impress him, it’s about getting yourself to a place where you have some confidence going on and knowing that you do have something positive to offer. It’s about not putting yourself down around him, not acting negative, and definitely not whining and complaining over text messages too frequently. Volunteer, make some fun plans, join a group, do something super interesting and get into a much more positive frame of mind. Don’t sell yourself short and don’t be negative. If you can get to that place you are going to attract him much better. You also are going to be less willing to tolerate lousy treatment. As a result, you won’t get treated lousy!
The next time you whine and complain about how boring your life is to him and how you need to see him because you have no plans, stop! Go out and do something great and blow him off. Let him give you a call later, not text you. Get your positive going on and you will ultimately get treated better. At that point, you will no longer be on the Google typing in the infamous Why isn’t he texting me questions. If you sell yourself short you invite poor treatment, you accept poor treatment, and you start to believe that you don’t deserve better and that you don’t deserve to be treated kindly. Then you stay in relationships where you have to jump for joy if he texts you after two weeks goes by. Enjoy the day instead and you will be way better off!