Show me a beautiful women,
and I’ll show you a man that is tired of having sex with her
Have you ever snooped your boyfriend or lovers phone only to find out there are intimate messages from him to other women who you’ve never even heard of? Maybe you hadn’t talked about exclusivity with him and assumed it was so without ever asking him. Maybe you tried to put the prospect of his dating others out of your mind. Maybe he said he was too busy to cheat, or he downplayed the obvious meaning of his cruising internet dating sites and keeping his profiles active. Or maybe he’s told you he is exclusive with you yet is downright lying to you and actively involved with other women.
No matter what he promised you, it is always a shock to find out he really is involved with someone else and texting not just you but her too. When you decide to invade his privacy and spy on his text messages, be careful what you wish for because you may find incriminating information on that cell phone! This article is a campy take on the myraid of reasons as to why men cheat.
Being single means that you are single
After the shock sets in over your man having a private text life with other women that you didn’t know about, you might find yourself reading up on dating advice columns typing questions and phrases into google such as why men cheat. The reality is that one out of two men who claim they will keep their fidelity for you and you alone because you’ve asked or coerced them into only sleeping with you, won’t really comply. If you aren’t married, your man is single. He may or may not be cheating at any point in time but if there is nothing in writing your man will have no qualms about cheating if the right opportunity presents itself to him. He’s single and so are you.
Just because you’ve discussed not being intimate with others does not mean that it’s written in stone. Until you are married, you are technically just dating. Even being married is no safeguard seeing as married men do have affairs as well. If you’ve never even discussed monogamy with him, then you are really, really, really just dating ladies! If his status is single then assume he is dating others or that he is willing to.
Sought after men have options
Most men spend their lives trying to develop their success, wealth, their bodies, and their overall confidence. Rest assured that a man that carries several desirable qualities are well sought after commodities. If you like them, plenty of other women like them too. Men are about as faithful as their opportunities. With the advent of Internet dating, the playing field has leveled for men and dating opportunities abound. A new woman is just one click of the mouse away.
If there are fewer opportunities available for a man, then he may not be as desirable and therefore competition for his loyalty might be easier. If however, he has many opportunities the competition will be fierce and if he has options he is likely to date a variety of women until he finds the one that suits him best. It would be hard to walk away from every single opportunity that came your way which is why you can assume that unless he’s totally devoted to you and saying it to you with his actions, he’s exploring. Unless you are the one, assume he’s dating other ones.
Things are getting poly-amorous around here
It used to be that cheating men would just lie and cover up the infidelity. Lately however, men are more open and blatant about what they do. There is a sense of entitlement they have about being dogs. It’s in their genes to stray they say as an excuse. Most men, even married ones, admit they would sleep with other women on the side if they could get away with it. In fact, leading a little side single life is something he would embrace if it could be kept under wraps from his main relationship. Men are increasingly rationalizing multiple partners and even disclosing non-exclusivity outright to potential girlfriends.
If he’s waving a red flag claiming that he enjoys being single and you continue to date him, you know he’s loving the single life. There are plenty of women willing to put up with casual dating partners and the dating climate is getting to be more poly-amorous than it’s ever been. If half or more marriages fail and sex partners are readily available through Internet dating sites then your man might be content staying single for a good long time. If you don’t put up with his player behavior, someone else will. If a man is inclined to play there is little you can do to rope him in and you may have to opt out and go look for a more monogamously inclined partner.
Like the old adage, show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a man that is tired of having sex with her goes, men love variety. Women like comfort and the same cozy thing. Men like something really different. It’s like Hugh Grant and his beautiful girlfriend Elizabeth Hurley. He was dating a supermodel yet was caught being indecent with a Hollywood Boulevard woman the exact opposite of Hurley. Even if a man loves you, his quench for the weird could become more than a fantasy in his head if the right opportunity presents itself to him. Men might light a cozy relationship but they also fantasize about the scandalous.
Every man, and players in particular, have had some sort of monumental relationship in their past which they were hurt by. It is often their first true love that hurt them. Oneitis is when they never really get over it. If you researched all of the players and pick up artists, most will tell you that sometime in their past they had their heart broken by a women they were faithful to and madly in love with. After that relationship, they develop a fear of deep connections and could superficially date for years. A case of serious oneitis could turn a man into a player for decades. He won’t soon commit again to a single woman after having been hurt.
At certain times in life men and women alike are going to be more likely to be faithful. Maybe it’s when they first fall in love, or first get married. At other times in life, they aren’t as likely to be faithful. For example, when separated, just divorced, younger, or when in the throes of raising children, the ties that bond a couple can weaken. These weak points in life can make cheating more tempting and more palatable. A man who would never think of cheating in one phase of his life, may become quite likely to cheat in another phase. Cheating can obviously happen at any point in time yet the inclination, urge and opportunity for it likely comes and and goes in waves.
If a man has to travel extensively for work then they might consider cheating. It is incredibly easy to hop onto the Internet with a dating profile in a new town and pursue some extra marital fun. With Internet dating so prevalent a man who is on travel may not even blink an eye over having some mysterious fun while stranded far away from home. Maybe they don’t have much to do in the evenings and decide to try and meet some women on blind dates for sneaky entertainment. They say that up to a quarter of the people online are really not single but married or still technically part of an ongoing relationship.
A Stale Relationship
Obvious cheating is more likely to happen when a relationship is heading south. Towards the break down of a marriage, during long periods of travel away from partners, or during the responsibility years raising children, relationships can go stale. It is during these stale eras that cheating can look incredibly fun. An affair might be just what is needed to add excitement into an utterly mundane routine. A man might have no intention of leaving his family whatsoever, but still cheat. He might think that a seemingly harmful dalliance will renew his vitality without even considering breaking apart his family.
He wanted out anyways
Finally the biggest reason he cheats is because he actually wants out of the relationship anyways. Maybe he’s told you he’s ready to move on and even started dating others right under you nose for that matter. He won’t commit to you further to save his life because the bottom line is that he does not want to. So he just starts dating others and he is going to do what he is going to go. If you want to sit around on the sidelines and continue to see him and put up with it then he might let you hang around to keep him company. If you get fed up, he just breathes a sigh of relief.
If he’s done with you and on a mission to find miss right then inevitably you are going to stumble on those text messages when you snoop his cell phone. And you are going to find his profile active on the dating site. You’ll find the lipstick on his collar. Why? Because he doesn’t care. And when you confront him he his just going to shrug his shoulders and say whatever, thinking, I told you so, duh. It’s over and maybe now she’ll finally cut me loose.
So what should you do, just give up on monogamy?
Is this depressing? Should you just throw in the towel and give up on monogamy? Of course not! This article is only meant to illustrate that just like half of all marriages end in divorce, it is likely that half of all relationships involve cheating at one point or another. Women can cheat too obviously so clearly it’s not just men who do it. The point is, that to keep your mans attention you should be aware of reality. No matter how much they talk about cougars and the modern woman, it is still a man’s world.
Try to tend your relationship and don’t just take it for granted. Allowing things to go stale and for your romance with him to wane without anticipating the potential for his cheating during these eras would be remiss. All successful relationships take work.
Sometimes you can’t stop the cheating because a supermodel just drops out of the sky onto you man. There is nothing you can do. But other times you can avert his temptation to cheat by taking care of your relationship. The most important thing is to be the best person you can. Make your relationship a priority and hope that you’ve got yourself a really good guy on your hands and not a cad. Some men are just more monogamous inclined than others. Hopefully you’ve got a great guy who is the monogamous type as well.
If you do find that dreaded cheating text message on your cell phone, think hard about kicking your man to the curb over it. Don’t go ballistic. If you aren’t even married you might not have discussed monogamy with him. Maybe you and he are just dating and your interpretation of your status with him was different than his interpretation. Instead of never ever talking to him again or going nuts on text message with him, consider having a rational discussion about it.
Text message is so prevalent that many men even those that are part of famous couples, like Tiger Woods and his ex-wife, get caught cheating by their wife making text message discoveries. While finding incriminating text messages on his phone is never a good sign, don’t jump to conclusions. There’s flirtation on text and there’s actual cheating in real life. Don’t assume you know what he is really up to based on intercepting a text message. You have to talk to him about your concerns that he might be cheating.
Maybe you can get your man to commit to monogamy. Maybe you’ll be able to have an honest discussion about everything with him. After that, you can decide for yourself whether you want to end the relationship or not. Lastly, be careful what you wish for. If you snoop your mans text messages its an invasion of his privacy. Deep down you know that you had valid suspicions to go there. So don’t be surprised if your intuition that caused you to snoop turns out to reveal something unsavory. Cheating is more convenient than ever. He might cheat and assume that no one would be the wiser.