Reasons to be happy about that text break up message you got

Did you go from total chemistry to total strangers with your man? Did everything click then go downhill from there to where you felt like you were pulling his teeth to get him to text you back, then he actually goes and dumps you on text message? Believe it or not, the emotional duress you are about to suffer is not all there is. There are some positive things about getting unceremoniously dumped by a text. OK now this is meant to have a little humor in it. Nobody likes to get dumped obviously but don’t just blame it squarely on yourself and how you weren’t good enough. He may have just been rude too. Don’t let him off the hook and blame yourself for this text dumping because placing half the blame on him will help you get over him. You need to get your self respect back. The text dumping was not all your fault. Remember, it takes two. Here we go with some reasons to help you accept that the breakup may be for the best in the long run.

End of frustration

Depressing as it is, a text breakup can represent the end of a total frustration cycle. If you got broke up with on text maybe this guy was one where you really could not get him to do what you wanted. Whether he just wasn’t into you, or he was dating other people and you couldn’t get him to stop, or he cheated and lied to you, this text dump can represent not only the end of him and you but the end of your frustration of him and you. Now you figure that you will have to spend months toiling over the breakup, simmering, complaining to friends, haagen daz-ing, crying, and boiling over. But after that toxic soup of your emotions is all done with, you’ll somehow get on back to life because you really don’t have a choice.

Try to think of it as a good thing. You just got rid of someone who couldn’t even pick up the phone and give you a call but rather had to press a send key to get rid of you. Exactly where good did you think you were heading with this person? If you were dumped by text then this person probably did not make you a priority in his (or her) life. If he wouldn’t make an effort for you then you really don’t need that in your life. The truth is that people will get away with the lowest and lousiest treatment of others that they can as a natural resting point. It’s hard to recover from that so if someone breaks up and dumps you on text odds are slim to none you can ever recover from that lousy sort of dismissive treatment. If he was not invested in you there is no point in continuing to be accommodating and bending over backwards. Even the text break up was in and of itself just another way that he left you hanging out to dry.

If he dumped you on text message you have to look at the bright side. Now you can progress through the necessary grief stages and get on with your life. Now you don’t have to fester in frustration about your go nowhere situation with him. Now you don’t have to be strung along in a relationship that was on such thin ice in the first place that you got dumped on text. Now no more of your life time will be wasted in a relationship with little promise or chance of success for you.

Now you’ll have learned your lesson and be more careful who you let into your inner most life. Because you don’t want to get walked all over again. When you go into a new relationship you’ll have better standards and boundaries for yourself. Someone who doesn’t consider your feelings and is dismissive will be blocked out of your life early on and by you, unlike this guy who just text dumped you. You learned something the hard way and against your will but nonetheless you still learned something which is key.

End of string along

If you have a mediocre relationship with a man to where he does not want to spend his quality time with you or even introduce you to his friends, you have to figure you are on the outside of his life in the first place. You know it because if he dumps you on text message then he really doesn’t consider your feelings nor is he making an effort to work anything out. You deserve a phone call. He is bailing out and willing to take his chances with a brand new woman or women. Don’t put up with a guy who can leave you hanging and chop you off at the knees. If you do tolerate bad treatment the guy will never really care for you. A man is only going to care for and show priority towards a woman that is a challenge to him. The only woman that he is going to treat right, is a woman who doesn’t put up with behavior that does not work for her. Bad behavior is dumping someone on text therefore don’t put up with it and leave graciously just like he seems to want. Only then will he feel like a louse for slitting your throat on text message.

If you have a guy dumping you with a text message there is zero point in chasing after him. Granted you don’t want to obediently disappear from his life like he wants you to because you ego is hurt and on overdrive. You are inclined to make noise and get vicious about his chopping you off at the knees via text message. But you should obediently get out of his life and you shouldn’t make noise about it. Let him have his exact way and get rid of you and you just go quietly. The reason is that he is doing you a favor. You are no longer going to be strung along by a guy that is contemplating dumping you like this. You just saved yourself time. You may have avoided a player or a bad boy that was never going to commit to you because he knew perfectly well he wasn’t falling in love with you. Why would you want to stay enmeshed with a guy that wasn’t into having a relationship with you. You would only continue to get hurt.

If a boyfriend dumps you by text then consider yourself lucky because he obviously did not have enough invested in your relationship. Now you don’t have to be strung along hoping for something that has little hope of working out. He did you a favor by letting you go and not continuing to string you along getting you all the while more attached.

Good riddance of a man who dumped you because he was mad

Now this is a touchy one. The first thing you have to do is go over what led to the text breakup. If you antagonized your boyfriend or did something truly hurtful towards him, he might have popped off and broken up with you via text only because he was hurt or upset. So, before you celebrate ridding yourself of a mean boyfriend you need to go over everything that happened and ask yourself if you pushed him into the text dumping. The way you can find out about this is to not react to the text dumping. Give him some time to cool off. If you truly think that he dumped you as a direct reaction to something hurtful you did, then give it some time and apologize for your part later on. This can happen with long term relationships. You might be in a fight and then he says forget it we are done on text message. Sometimes these are fights, not really breakups, so give it a chance to cool off and settle down. If your text breakup is really just a fight that got out of hand you two will probably find a way to work it out given some time apart.

There certainly are other ways he could have handled the situation. He could have been more diplomatic about the break up. If you were in a fight he could have tried to talk about the issues of the fight not jump directly to a fed up break up text. A guy that wants to be with you will pay attention to issues and at least try to earnestly work them out first. Therefore even if you pushed him to the brink of the text breakup he could have tried to save your relationship if he really cared. Instead, he escalated right up to dumping you. You may have gotten rid of a real hot headed man in need of anger management.

Good riddance of a man who dumped you because his vanishing act didn’t work like as planned

You also need to consider if he already dumped you but you failed to read the signals. For example, he might have faded and fizzled and just stopped contacting you. You however, continued to hound him and chase after him. His only choice at that point is to dump you on text message. This is really the case where he is already gone but you just didn’t pick up his behavioral cues. Maybe he tried to tell you indirectly by disappearing so he didn’t have to have a confrontation or deal with you or your feelings. You however failed to take the giant hint. So if you got dumped on text message you have to consider if he really already dumped you prior and this is just a back up dumping to the dumping or disappearing that he has already executed. This is the situation where you keep bugging him then he feels like he has to start being a mean person just to get you peeled off his back.

Again, he could have handled the situation differently. The fact that his houdini disappearing curtain call act flopped doesn’t give him a reason to be a bully and dump you on text. He could have called you up on the phone and said look, I diminished my contact with you because I just wasn’t feeling it and didn’t want to hurt you. But now you keep pursuing me and I want it to stop. I don’t want to dump you on text or have to act ruthless. He could have tried to be diplomatic and direct had he had more integrity. He acted in a mean way towards you so consider it a favor. He probably doesn’t care about treating people right and will likely have that attitude towards others in the future. Just because you decide you don’t want to be with someone doesn’t give you a free ticket to treat them meanly or like less of a human being. It is disrespectful and rude. He was mean to do a vanishing act on you. Nothing you can do about it anyways. He does not want to be with you so just leave him alone.

Good riddance of a man who doesn’t like you or want to be with you

Another reason he might have dumped you was because it was early on in your relationship and he just didn’t feel the continued gut level chemistry that he felt he needed to feel in order to go on. He sort of figured out you weren’t the one. Unfortunately, you got crossed off his list of girlfriend material and then he just decided to be rude and dump you on text. If he has already established that he doesn’t want to take it further with you then it really doesn’t matter as much to him if a text dumping is rude behavior. He probably knows it but doesn’t care since his objective is to just get rid of you out of his life. He doesn’t care if he ever sees your face again is why he doesn’t care if he acts rude so you have to wonder why in the world you would want to be with him either. The fact that he’s hot is not good enough reason to be with him.

This can be hurtful if you already have phsycial relations with him. But the thing is that guys are primitive animalistic pursuers in this regard. If they like you enough to get with, they will usually take it as far as they can take it. That’s just the way they work because they are selfish and want to have fun on the scenic route to meeting the one. There is little you can do about it, as of course you will be hurt. Not all relationships work out so if you become the casualty of a few then it is just life. The thing is, a guy with some maturity is going to hesitate to rock a girls world if he doesn’t think it will go anywhere. If he has some maturity he won‘t want to be with someone that way unless he believes there is potential there because he doesn’t want to hurt people unnecessarily. He actually cares about a woman’s feelings. Unfortunately finding a man who will put concern for the woman before his own libido is hard to come by. If he railroaded ahead with you then back peddled out it was sort of classic user behavior. It’s all about his own issues and desires, and not about you. He wanted what he wanted and didn’t consider you.

In all three cases, he’s angry with you, he’s already tried to blow you off and you just missed the signs, or he got close to you then quickly about faced and decided you weren’t it and didn’t care about being mean and dumping you on text anyways, he really is acting rudely. That is right. This guy might have had good reason to act like a louse but none the less he is acting like one. No excuses. He could have told you directly even if having that rejection conversation was a bitter pill for him to do. He could have picked up that phone and told you that you weren’t the one rather than trying to disappear then re-enforce it on text. No matter how many excuses you want to give the guy for free, he still acted disrespectfully towards you. So, be happy about the text dumping because you just got rid of disrespectful man who wasn’t really into you. Just saying.


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One Response to Reasons to be happy about that text break up message you got

  1. Pingback: Make him (or her) addicted to you #1 attraction strategy | Love Dating How to Text

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