Its a control thing
Guys like to text to manage their women. It reduces likelihood of rejection, and allows them to touch base and make plans without lifting up the phone. It’s a bit of a game and a power trip when a guy tries to keep you on text message pretending he does not know how to use the phone. That is why you must lay down some ground rules as to how you want to be treated and communicated with. He needs to believe that if he does not respect those ground rules that you will stop seeing him. If he can get away with having you do whatever he wants with very little effort on his behalf he will take advantage of that. It might give him an ego boost to know that all he has to do is text you last minute to have plans with him.
Because you don’t force him to call you
Convert every text message he sends into a request for a phone call. That means, every time he texts you that you text him back some minutes later that he should call you. If he hems and haws then just make other plans or ignore his texts. If he calls you then be nice and respond with a plan. He might be texting thinking its more convenient so make sure you make the phone call convenient for him. He needs to know he can call and quickly make a plan with you without being bogged down into a long conversation. If you make each phone call short, sweet and pleasant for him it can help teach him to use the phone and not text.
To keep you at a distance
Men who are out dating several women at once love to text and prefer text to other forms of communication. Its totally safe, rejection potential is low, and they really don’t have to deal with you directly. They don’t have to disagree with you or feel awkward on the phone or allow very close contact to you.
All you need to do to bring him closer to you is to stop texting. That way he is forced to call. He can’t hide behind sketchy texts that have no voice tone clues, no pauses, and no emotions coming out of throat. Communication is really verbal and to enable the texting is to reduce the real exchange you two have. Fantasy sets in and you draw all sorts of weird and oft wrong conclusions on the words that are exchanged. Your imagination fills in the rest. That is why phone calls are so important because they establish that your relationship is not imaginary.
To keep the relationship casual
Keeping you in the text message domain is his way of saying very loudly and very clearly that he doesn’t wish to take it to the real level. If he wanted to talk to you he would. He’d call. Texting is a way to keep the relationship from progressing. You don’t get to talk about normal day to day life and you don’t get to know the person more at all. The texts mean nothing. They don’t progress anything between you and him. The only thing the texting does is keep the relationship on ice, not progressing, and totally casual.
Because there is no relationship
Text is the way that non relationships are maintained. These are the flings, one night, casual encounter, friends with benefits, on again off again girlfriend, the doormat girl, the fallback girl that gets texted when the other dates didn’t pan out, or the girl he is just not interested in anymore. All of these have something in common that they are not relationships at all. A relationship by definition includes phone calls.
If you are only getting texted, there is no clearer way other than to yell it into your face, that you are not in a relationship with him. You are someone he has, potentially will, and potentially will continue to either be friends with or romantic with enjoying all the fringe benefits of a relationship without the real relationship.
To keep you as an option
Lets say that a man goes out with you a few times but he is not having his socks knocked off by you. He likes you, but is not sure if he really needs to ever see you again. You become an option. Someone that he could potentially see depending on which way the wind blows. In these cases, he keeps you on text because that keeps options open to call you while simultaneously saying you aren’t really dating or deserving of a phone call much less a date.
Because there are more of you and he is managing you all via text
Usually relationships on text are not exclusive relationships. In fact, they never are. If you are on text message there is a very good reason you are on text message and that is because he is actively meeting, dating, pursuing, or at the least open to finding, ms right. He might give you a lame excuse like he doesn’t like to talk on the phone but it will be a lie because he does like to talk on the phone to girls he is into. He has you on text for a reason and its not because of lockjaw. His jaw will open and words will come out on the phone to someone he really likes and wishes to pursue, which by the way, is not you. If ms Right was you I can assure you that you would not be on a text message.
Because he is managing you down
If you were a potential girlfriend however he dated you and tried you out and was intimate with you and then decided he didn’t like you after that, he’ll start to manage you down. He doesn’t see himself falling in love with you so he begins the process of extricating himself as smoothly as possible with as little fuss as possible. The plan is to slowly dwindle communication, relegate it to text, and disappear hoping that you’ll either get the hint or find someone else and just go away. If you slot yourself in as an occasional girlfriend he’ll accept that too as long as you don’t bug him too much and he likes variety.
That’s when the phone calls dwindle and it all turns to text. He’s still on the dating sites meeting women and trying to trade up better than you, but you are good enough to keep around in the background. If he happens to be driving down the freeway in the vicinity of your house out of convenience he might want to drop in and see you and obviously he’ll do this using text message on short notice. You’ll probably get text message the very day he wants to see you.
Because he is being passively hostile
A man that refuses to call you even when you ask him to yet continues to text you and try to arrange rendevous is to a certain extent hostile. You are being treated like a game. He wants to see if he can successfully dupe a woman into jumping off from text to intimacy and establish her as an easy access girl to call for nights when he doesn’t want to pay for a date. Having a side kick chick in his back pocket is super convenient particularly if he likes you but still wants the option of being non exclusive so he can pursue other women. What guy wouldn’t want to have his cake and eat it too along with a big ego stroke.
If you enable him to jump off to a get together from a text message (rather than a phone call) just one time, one single time, you’ll be done. He’ll know he can get away with it. He’ll actively pursue other women and when he gets bored or needs your free ego stroke he’ll mess with your head and try to text you into a date purposely never calling and making it official. Why? Because you aren’t really with him. You’re not his girlfriend and you are more than likely a woman he will never learn to respect since you enabled him and let him get away with poor treatment of you.
Hit the reset and try to start over with a different guy because this one is going to be real hard to retrain. Either that or give him the gift of missing you for a few weeks or months by never contacting him at all. Then when you do talk again you will be more like someone new and maybe you’ll have a shot of him calling you and treating you better this go round, though doubtful. You can try.
Because he doesn’t care and is so over you
If he is not into you he will relegate you to text. As long as you don’t over text him, he’ll just leave you there to rot as his life goes forward as though you are in his little black book. Periodically, he might say hi with a little tickled up message and see if you are receptive to a last minute date. But, its take it or leave for him. That’s why you are only on text and only hear from him once every few weeks if that. You’ll be designated as the girl he texts when he is in between the girlfriends that he calls.