Reinforce the texting behavior you want

Are you finding yourself in a bad text messaging pattern with someone that involves constant text messages filling you inbox? If you wake up in the morning to 16 text messages in your inbox it can be startling, regardless of whether those texts are nice, means, drunken nonsense, rants or diatribes.

As with any addictive habit, if you are getting deluged by text messages from a friend, lover, or significant other, its time to look at your own texting behavior. You might be part of the cause of the problem you now have.

The most common stalking scenario is when you have a relationship with alot of texting going on, and then the relationship ends but the texts don’t. Granted, you can’t foresee a relationship ending, but you can monitor how many texts you are sending and how much of your conversations happen on text. You might be inadvertently creating your very own stalker.

Reinforcing behavior you want is far easier than punishing the behavior you don’t. Think of it as reward and punishment. Be responsive to a reasonable number of texts, and unresponsive to an unreasonable number of texts. Also, if you don’t want your breakup overwhelmed by texts, then don’t conduct the relationship itself on text.

Whatever pattern is established during the relationship is likely to live on after it, particularly when one person wants the breakup and the other person doesn’t. If you constantly text eachother while together, the breakup will likely involved constant texting as well.

So the advice is to keep your texts down. Simple communications are fine, just saying high etc. But long winded texts, fights, makeups and conversations involving hundreds of texts during a relationships are likely to extend over to becoming a problem after the relationship. If you are texting hundreds of times when you are getting along, just imagine what will happen when you aren’t.


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