If you want to turn your relationship with your boyfriend around, try doing LESS texting than ever. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, doing less texting and just being yourself can help bring back the romance, passion and devotion that may be missing from your relationship.
Avoid fighting or airing grievances on text msg
If you give yourself plenty of space when you feel hurt and angry about matters in your relationship, it will give you time to heal and act appropriately. The most important thing is that you won’t make the mistake of hauling off into a hostile text rant.
Practice texting less as it is a very simple exercise in self control. Men want a woman who exhibits self control when upset and who knows how to act and where and when to take up matters with him. A text rant is not the proper venue and will backfire on you.
Why texting less works, and makes him crave you
The thing about texting is that women often text their man to try and connect with them. They give, give, give via texting, texting, texting. The hard part is that they feel like in putting forth all this effort to keep up with their boyfriend and then demand that he should be a helpful and generous partner in return. But ultimately he just gets pushed further away from the barrage of emotions in your messages and you both wind up feeling overwhelmed and drained.
To end the dead end cycle of texting and texting and feeling drained and like you aren’t getting much engagement from him in return, you need to STOP texting him. Realize that texting out of frustration to get closer to him is not going to help you and it isen’t going to help him either.
The old adage that the more you give to a relationship the more you get in return does not apply to texting! If your relationship with him is troubled then texting him constantly will not fix it I assure you. The opposite ends up being true and it only will serve to drive him away.
What will help things is to silence yourself and your texting for a while. Just give it a rest. Step back from the minutia of texting about moment to moment happenings and arguing on text message over petty issues. Create space and release yourself from the trenches by stepping back, taking a break from texting and creating distance and time for the both of you to think straight.
Once you stop pursuing him on text and trying to fix things then you will be less drained and in a better position of receiving real attention from him when it comes. If you can quit texting aggresively you are going to appear to soften yourself as a person. The change will create attraction! Focus on the positives in your relationship. When he starts to approach you, you can always talk about your issues at that point, but hopefully you’ll do that calmly and in person not on text message.
How breaking a negative texting pattern works
If you are stuck in the rut of the past and fighting on text message or breaking up and making up on sms, it’s time to back off and make a massive change to your relationship pattern. Instead of trying to nag him on text message about your issues try to change yourself. As soon as you stop over functioning and trying to fix and control everything, he will notice a difference in your behavior and respond positively to it.
Remember that nagging on text message is going to make him feel that you are mothering and smothering him, which is the last thing that you want to do. What you want to do is quit texting and switch the focus off of him completely and onto yourself. Once you shift your negative texting focus off of him he can start to go crazy with desire for you again. Hopefully the issues that you had will have a chance to dissipate by giving the texting a rest.
When he comes back around, your relationship troubles may not appear as aggregious. And if they are, you’ll have calmed yourself down long enough to discuss matters rationally rather than ranting to him about it on text message and making him run away. The thing about you sending lots of texts is that it becomes all about you talking to him on text message. It’s not a good dynamic and you want to swing the focus in the opposite direction and be able to listen to what he is saying.
Men want a woman that listens to what they have to say. When you become the aggressor/pursuer on text it is as though you are the one talking constantly. Then he is put into the position of having to listen to you vent. No matter how good of a listener he is, he will get tired of this and grow to resent being forced to listen to tons of texts from you. Those are not the qualities that men are going to be looking for in a healthy relationship.
By texting him less, you are creative a more constructive method of communication. You need to allow space and time for healing so that when you re connect its coming with a positive undertone. I don’t consider it games for you to stop texting when hurt or upset. You need time in order to get a hold of your emotions.
Remember that text messages can stay in his inbox and if you text out of an emotional place and let it rip in a rant then that series of messages will sit on his phone and he won’t soon forget it.