Maybe you are in a long term relationship or maybe you are in a new relationship. Every relationship has its problems. But some relationship are down right unhealthy and just not good for your emotional well being. If your boyfriend is shaking you up emotionally it may not be worth it. If you are overlooking warning signs hoping that someone will change it is a mistake as well. If there are enough red flags there it might be better to try and move on.
Does he blow you off?
A boyfriend that blows you off and never responds to your texts is a person that is not interested. If you have normal phone calls and texting then things should be bouncing back and forth. Some guys just don’t like to talk as much as girls so be sure to give him plenty of space. But if you aren’t harassing him and he just can’t lift a finger to text you back for weeks, you need to recognize that he’s blowing you off. A girl that he cares about will come in a priority and if he doesn’t care or has a very low level of interest he’ll only respond at his convenience. Your convenience won’t matter to him.
How upset is he making you?
A boyfriend that is causing you upset is a problem for your karma. While you might have good times with him, if those are matched with vomit bad times, then it may not be a healthy relationship. Roller-coaster relationships are exciting but not if it is taking a toll on your health. If you’re getting physical symptoms of getting toxicity it’s not worth it. If you’re anxious and getting physically ill then it might be time for a get away.
Does he come on like a cheap suit
Boyfriends who are users will manipulate you and really they are no different than burglars. They’ll swoop in to be nice and get what they want, then once they do they vanish. If your boyfriend comes on too strong and then goes missing in action you might be with a user. As soon as someone else suits their agenda better or presents a better opportunity they’ll pull the rip cord. If your boyfriend comes on strong then disappears for weeks it’s a sign that he is not going to commit, at least not to you. Someone who genuinely cares about your well being won’t jerk you around by coming on strong then ignoring you completely. If he comes on real fast and strong then rest assured he knows how to vanish from your life just as fast.
Does he call you names?
Couples get close and its fairly normal to get into some pretty vicious verbal exchanges particularly if you have a tumultuous relationship. But the chances are that if your boyfriend stoops to the lowest level of name calling that he will do it again in the future. If he severely chops you down with insults it is a warning sign that he does not respect you or consider you as one he loves. Some fights are forgivable but if a truly hostile vibe exists you might want to reconsider being with this person.
A different incantation of name calling is the silent treatment. Men will go silent if you nag them or get hysterical. That is understandable. But if he goes silent as a form of emotional punishment its a warning of some abuse. Name calling, silent treatment, and other types of psycological warfare are warning signs that it is not a healthy relationship.
Do you feel short changed?
If your boyfriend has ongoing financial problems where he is trying to beg, borrow, or manipulate money or favors from you it is going to wear you down eventually. Don’t ignore the signs of a mooch. If he’s hitting you up for a loan in a financial pinch but never bothering to make good on paying you back then he may not be the one for you. Sometimes you get an on off boyfriend that you keep getting back with. But every time you get back with him he pulls a nasty maneuver on you where you feel like you’ve been duped. On off relationship take an emotional toll on you eventually and rarely to they ever solidify.
A man that isen’t working and bumming off of you, or lazy about making ends meet for themselves is primed for taking advantage of someone that really cares about them. Drug addicts and alcoholics will also prioritize their partying at the highest point. You’re likely to come in at a very low priority with this type of person. No matter how gorgeous or fun he is, eventually you’ll get fed up with being at the lowest possible run in his totem pole.
A man that asks for a favor but then folds his cards and does an epic failure when you ask for something in return, is not a fair player. This person will play dirty and ignore the rules or courtesey and respect and therefore you will not win. You’ll just degenerate into a fight when you put yourself out on a limb and get sand thrown in your face as thanks.
Does he make promises he does not keep?
This is a really big deal. Don’t play down what a broken promise means. Integrity is the greatest of all human traits and if he does not practice it with you, your relationship will end up in a grisly demise. Some guys have zero integrity and will treat whoever they are with like crid. Other guys have selective integrity depending on their interest level in you. If they really like you then they will act with integrity and keep promises. If they don’t like you and view you as a convenience or a backup when they are lonely then they are likely to lack integrity when it comes to how they treat you.
If your boyfriend makes promises that he doesn’t keep then your relationship is pretty dead in the water. Women constantly rationalize for their men. They will make up excuses for his rotten behavior that not even he could have thought up. That’s the problem when you are a good person you just want to believe that the other person is a good person too. When someone breaks promises and lies, and you are an honest person, it is almost hard to wrap your head around it. You so don’t want to see the writing on the wall that you will make excuse after excuse for the person.
Does he threaten to leave?
I guy that puts you down and threatens to leave when he is upset is a guy that already has his eye on the door. One thing for sure is that when a man threatens you it is good to always assume that he might carry out the threat. Threats are made in anger and sure as the sky is blue they can often be the raw truth. If he threatens to leave then in the end he may well leave.
If a guy puts you down and makes you fearful that he will leave you then that can be devastating to your relationship. If he calls you ugly or rates other women’s appearance as so much better than yours then he really does not cherish what he has. The grass is always greener so honestly if he’s got his eye on the door or his foot out the door he will likely leave eventually no matter what you do.
I’ll give you an example. If you were to get into an argument and he packs his things to move out but ultimately does not move out, what do you think of that. Well, if he packed his bags one time then you can rest assured that eventually he will leave. He didn’t leave this time but later on he will. Another example is the boyfriend who throws an Internet dating profile up online every time you two get in a fight. If his profile is up on the Internet while he’s claiming to be your boyfriend or every time you two have a disagreement, then sure as the sky is blue he won’t be ending up with you.
Is he secretive?
A guy who is secretive and hides what he is up to well that is a major red flag. I’ll give you an example. What if he does not want you to know where he lives? Maybe he thinks you bother him too much or that you’ll show up when he’s with someone else. If he’s keeping secrets he just does not care about you. In fact, he wants to keep you at a distance. If you don’t know anything about his life then dumping you is as simple as ignoring your phone calls or blocking your number on his cell phone.
Men that are prepared to try and make things work with you are going to be way more like an open book. They’re going to let you see where they live and introduce you to some friends. If the man has children don’t expect him to introduce you to them so fast. That’s just being protective. Just know that if he likes you then he will bring you around some of his buddies and friends. Even if he’s protective of his family he will let you into his life to a certain extend.
Another form of secrecy is financial secrecy. Often times when a breakup or divorce is imminent, a man will divert his financial information from you eyes. If his finances are a secret they are a secret for a reason. If you have a man that keeps secret and hides his going ons then he is not honest and cannot be transparent or have an honest relationship. If he starts out open then closes off, this is a sign of an impending breakup. Guys that get divorced usually divert their bills from the home to their work place before the marriage really ends. Likewise, men having affairs will be secretive with their phone and finances. If the bills aren’t sitting out on the table in plain sight or coming to the house then he has something to hide.
Looks or sex appeal alone won’t cut it in the long run
Women often stay with a loser because he has some sort of attribute that they get hooked on or addicted to. It might be his sexual expertise or it might be that he is absolutely gorgeous. Often times it is that man who is out of her league that a women gets blindsided by. Looks and chemistry is a great thing but don’t lose sight of your emotional well being. If you fall for a cad you better keep your distance. Chances are that once he gets his hooks into you that he will take advantage of your generosity.
Looks and chemistry will only get you so far. If he can’t offer you any other element to the package be careful. You will ultimately feel betrayed and hurt by a man who brings little of himself into your life. Besides just looks he should be somehow capable of enhancing your life. If he’s withholding that then rest assured that he might not be for you. Whether he is a loser through and through, or just a man that is not into you, it makes little difference. He may treat someone else better but what does it matter.
Think about how your man is treating you and consider the whole person not just the chemistry and the looks. No one is perfect yet for things to last he is going to have to bring something to the table other than just a good body. Beware of falling for a loser because this type of person will take advantage of you. A burglar steals by getting in fast, grabbing what they want, and running. A loser is no different. In fact it’s worse because its someone who you know. A loser is actually using your emotionals and feelings for him to rob you blind. Therefore, you must be careful who you fall for. Try not to ignore or brush red flags under the rug.
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