Relationships and Texting

Text messaging can be a wonderful way to flirt and keep in touch in a relationship.  You when it comes to relationships and texting, it also has high potential to strain a relationship.  Texting has become so ingrained as a medium for communication not that there are more texts being sent than phone calls being made! 

Text message is the main way communication is accomplished in romantic relationships.  It is used for both sexual flirtation and every day correspondence.   While texts can help you keep in touch with a romantic partner they can also create a strain in the relationship.

Relationships and texting etiquette

Text etiquette is an important consideration.  Romantic partners tend to cue off of each other and establish a text message pattern that suits both people in the relationship.  However, sometimes these patterns become skewed where one person is texting more and more and the other person becomes put off and pressured by all of the communication.  In the situation where a text happy person is over texting their partner, it can create conflict, disappointments and fights.  The minute you are wondering why didn’t he or she text me back, you’ve got a potential problem.  When you’re getting angry over a text not being returned, you have a problem for sure.

Keep texts G-rated in language and content so that you don’t have to worry about someone other than the intended recipient coming across your text message.   A good rule of thumb is to only send texts that you would not regret or think of as stupid in retrospect were you to read them in a few months time.

Relationships and texting more than calling

Some women think that a good old fashion phone call is the best way to communicate.  Some men think that text is an ideal way to exchange information without having to get bogged into a long drawn out phone chat.  Men love texting as they can communicate and get to the point easily.  Men are goal oriented and less likely to text just to say Hi.  A common problem is that men want to stick to goal oriented short and sweet text messages where as women want more involved conversations.

Almost every couple will agree that then have had some damaging interactions having to do with texting.  Whether it be ignoring a text, texting too much, or saying something nasty and mean via text, such indiscretions can cause harm to a relationship.  Remember that text messages can be saved, read later, sent to other people, or seen by other people snooping on your partners cell phone.  It is written communication, however short and sweet.  Before texting something inappropriate, consider that your text message can reside on your partners cell phone for quite some time before it may get deleted.

If texting is the only way two people in a relationship are communicating there may be an real issue with that relationship.  You can express emotions and exchange information on text but if deep conversations that should be happening face to face are instead happening on text message it is a warning sign that something is amiss in a relationship.  Not only that, the more you communicate deeper thoughts, feelings or issues on text message, the more likely it is that someone will misinterpret, be offended or get put off by what you text.

Relationships and texting is not replacement for face to face communication

Texting is fine for casually exchanging flirtation, emotion or pertinent information.  But if it gets to the point where all your dates are arranged by text message then there may be too high of an emphasis on text message.  Face to face interaction and even phone calls are important to a relationship.  Text messages can be ambiguous and it is hard to read emotions.  In a healthy relationship texting should only supplement physical interactions and phone calls not replace them.

If you are using texting in your romantic dating relationship be sure to keep it at a minimum.  Don’t text your partner at a higher pace than they text you as it can be overwhelming.  Don’t rely on text for setting up dates and having conversations or worse yet arguments.  Don’t get bent out of shape when someone does not text you back or ignores you.  Maybe you are contacting them too much is all.  Maybe they are busy.

Relationships and remember that it takes two to text

Remember that there are two people involved in texts not just you and your needs.   If you are sending daily emoticons to let your partner know how you feel, it may well be overkill.  Try telling them how you feel on the phone or in person.  Leave something to their imagination rather than disclosing your every move.  The best tip on texting is to always keep it sporadic, light, fun, and simple.  Don’t get into deep conversations on text and instead save such communications for in person. 

If your partner consistently texts you about as much that you text them, then you’ve found a resting level of appropriate texting.  If on the other hand your partner has issues with you texting too much or too frequently, it is time to back off and give your texting a rest.   Try to keep negativity out of your text messages.  One thing is sure, that your relationship will go better if you do not push yourself on your partner by texting too many times in a day.  Leave something to the your partner’s imagination.


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