Women should be wary about getting stuck in relationships that are going nowhere. Sometimes the writing is on the wall but women fail to see the obvious signs because they are so smitten by a man. If you are looking to get married and have a family and are living on the edge of that time frame you really need to be wary of getting stuck in relationships going nowhere.
Falling into relationships going nowhere is by far the most dangerous for women who are looking to get married and start families. These are the ones for whom wasting time in go nowhere relationships has the most serious life consequences. If you are younger and merely dating around, or older and already established with children, you are risking heartbreak but not your ability to have children. Depending on what your goals are, you’ll have to decide for yourself how much time you are willing to invest in a relationship that shows few signs of progression.
How serious is he
Men seem to be far better equipped to adopt a wait and see attitude in a relationship. They can date a woman and even be intimate with her until the cows come him but have little intention of getting serious. They are often content to let things continue at status quo. If you want to know how serious he is look no further than the frequency and timing of your contact and dates together with him.
If a man wants to put you on ice he will be noncommittal and sometimes unresponsive on text message and with the phone calls. This is the now you see him now you don’t type. Trust me, he is not that busy. If he were head over heels you’d be hearing from him all the time no matter how busy he was. If you enjoy being with him you can follow his lead however don’t believe for a second that he is not getting out meeting other women. If his texting frequency and communication is flaky, you may be on his wait and see if sometime better comes along list.
If a man wants to play it casual with you he will not see you on the weekends. He will come up with any excuse in the world not to. He will keep his dates with you to a minimum, maybe once a week tops. He will have every excuse in the world not to see you more or spend more time with you. Weekend nights are extremely important to men and if he starts to see you on these nights it is always a good sign. He won’t consistently give up a weekend night for just anyone. If he makes plans and consistently starts to see you on a Friday or Saturday night and that means making plans not just calling at the last minute, then your relationship may be progressing along. This is especially true for men with children as they often get only every other weekend off. If he is spending one of those prime time free weekend nights off with you it is good.
Remember to measure how into you he is not only by his words but by his actions. If his contact with you via text and phone is consistent it is a good sign. If he is seeing you once a week or more that it a good sign. If he starts to plan his Friday or Saturday nights off with you it is a really good sign. If he is showing signs of progression with you in terms of frequency and timing then you may want to let things move along at his pace and not put pressure on him. If you are looking to have a family, get married and be serious you’ll have to decide for yourself how much time you are willing to invest in letting the relationship develop naturally.
Wait and see attitude
If you know you have met a man that is the right one for you, but can’t get him to commit to stop seeing other women, you could adopt a wait and see attitude. This means that you should continue to be generous and trusting, and give him time to come around on his own without pushing. Resist giving him an ultimatum. Some men can be slower in coming to a realization that they really like you. They don’t want to be pushed and will get closer to a woman who is independent and functions well on her own.
Does this mean you should close off all of your other dating options while he tap dances around? No it does not. If you have a man on the fence and don’t want to push him away then you should develop your own nerves of steel. You should refrain from giving him ultimatums but in the meantime keep your eyes wide open for other dating options. This is incredibly hard to do because women tend to have tunnel vision when it comes to men they are infatuated with. But you should try to keep your dating options open.
Keep your dating options open
Dating advice books often advise women to date like a man. What they mean is that women should avoid getting tunnel vision on men who have not made any sort of commitment to them. It’s up to the woman to decide how much time he is willing to invest in a noncommittal man. Especially if you are in child bearing years, it pays to keep your dating options open and eyes peeled for other dating opportunities if you are dealing with a man who is on the fence.
If you think a man is for you then you can tell him that you have deepening feelings for him and are not interested in seeing other men. But unless he comes up with the idea of seeing you exclusively, you should be open to meeting other people. Don’t give ultimatums prematurely but instead keep your dating options open and let him get used to the idea of being around you more. If you are going to give a man an ultimatum, be prepared to live with the consequences. Most men will react hostile and defensive when given ultimatums. An ultimatum can end a relationship. Sometimes, you are better off resisting temptation to pressure him and dating other people (along with him) instead.