Revenge on the ex lover?

Have you been jilted by a lover or dumped by text message unceremoniously? Do you feel like you’ve been played and then kicked to the curb heartlessly?

If you have been burned and want to get revenge you might be texting your ex-lover relentlessly, stalking their face-book and social profiles to see what they are up to, or contacting their friends or former partners to warn them/diss your ex. All of the above mentioned tactics are bad ideas and here is way.

You can’t get revenge on an ex-lover

You cannot get revenge on a nasty ex-lover who did you wrong. To try to get revenge, the only thing that will result is that you will make things worse and bring more headache to your life. If your ex-lover was mean enough to dump you ruthlessly, cheat on you, lie to you, or even just mislead you, then don’t underestimate what a nasty person they will quickly become if you mess with them.  They have no empathy and that right there, makes them dangerous.

Nasty ex-lovers don’t think in terms of “I deserved that” when you give them a piece of your mind. They aren’t interested in your diatribe text, email, phone calls or other means of telling them about what a jerk they are. You will not get through to them and they will not feel remorse.  Instead of absorbing that they were mean or inconsiderate your ex lover will be thinking more along the lines of “I need to win this game”. That is what happens when you start with the tit for tat game.  Instead of admitting they are wrong they will get busy calling you a psycho de-friending you even more.

Disengage and stay disengaged

The only way to get revenge on your ex lover is to disengage and stay disengaged. It may be that you need to do a little investigating to see what is up. For example, you think they might be cheating, stealing whatever. So you do a little bit of your own snooping to confirm your suspicions. Once you are sure that you are being treated abusively and not with love, you have the information you need. Whether you trust your gut on this or actually do a little digging, once you know you are dealing with a dishonest person you have all the data.

Rather than confront this person, get into a battle of the will with this person, try to psycoanalyze this person, second guess this person, get suckered into the intrigue and mystery of this person, and so on, just cut ties. There is no way to get revenge against an ex lover who acted like a sociopath and lied or turned from hot to ice cold on you. The more revenge you try to get, and the more you stay involved with him for excitement sake, the more you will lose of yourself.

If you were in love with the ex that jilted you and seemed to move on so quickly, expect to feel shocked, hurt, bitter and angry for a long time. The longer you stay mentally enmeshed with them, the longer the recovery will take. Even if you need therapy to work your way out of your hole you should get it. Do what you’ve gotta do, since they obviously are. It’s a waste of your time to try and proove their guilt or wrong doing because in the end if they aren’t with you then it really doesn’t matter.

Don’t gossip, start rumours, say nasty things about them, file frivolous lawsuits, police reports, etc. Don’t go after them for money they’ve stolen etc. Just cut your losses and move on with your life.  It’s a nightmare to go to court against a liar becasue the odds are that they will not hesitate to turn your case against you and accuse you of things.  To take them on could be costly and emotionally taxing.  Chances are they have done this before.  This is not someone you want to lock horns with so consider cutting your losses and Run.

If you still have to work with your ex lover or co-parent with them then its a little more difficult to just cut contact but you can minimize contact and make sure you are not alone with them ever again. Only communicate with them if you absolutely have to and always be civil. If they work with you and you can’t get away consider other career opportunities that would remove you from contact even more.

Living well is the best revenge

Cutting all ties and completely disengaging from a toxic ex-lover is the best way to get revenge. It extricates you from exhibiting poor behavior like texting them, fighting with them, spying on them, snooping, stalking them, yelling at them, screaming, acting immature. It extricates you from doing child-like tantrum behaviors which can start to get you in trouble.

Don’t let a cad of an ex lover turn you into a police investigator or nut case. Don’t try to track what they are doing anymore or who they are with. Don’t email, text, call, leave messages, or respond to anything they do. Essentially your goal should be to become lifeless to them and have literally nothing to offer them so that they just go away.

Don’t try to rub your living well into your ex-lovers face. Go totally no-contact not to try and get them back, but rather to try and get on with your life separately. Let your ex-lover find a new target. Don’t be jealous of their new seemingly wonderful relationships because rest assured they will eventually become the very same person that you got to know.  Its just their true colors haven’t shown yet in their fresh meat relationship. Rather than be jeolous of their new relationship you should feel sorry for the person they get involved with.  In time they will likely go through what you have been put through.

The sooner you ignore a nasty ex-lover and get on with your life without them taking up your mental head-space, the better. It can take months if not years to feel better but eventually you will feel better. Get into the gym or do some major self-improvement project. Clean house, duty date, move, start over, get on a health kick, redo your wardrobe, go shopping, take up a new hobby, or get plastic surgery or hair plugs haha, seriously anything you can to get your mind wrapped around something other than your ex-lover. Self-improvement works really well.  The happier you become without them in your life, the better your revenge.


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