ur, r, y, ya, cant, hit, luv, wat etc are all fools text lexicon. Don’t use them if you want to send a good first impression
Online dating sites are breeding grounds for new romances these days. Not sure if thats a good thing because many of these meetups wind up in a text only go nowhere relationship. Because online dating is electronic, I suppose it makes perfect sense that communications on the dating site via emails quickly become texts to one another once your cell phone numbers get exchanged. At that point, pathetically, the request for a first date or first flirt may transpire on the texting air waves.
If there is a first text, you’ll get bonus points it you make it be a lead in right to a phone call
Most people don’t want to start a relationship out on text message. That being said, if you shoot out a first text to a potential date, keep it light and sweet and let it be a lead in to a phone call. Don’t ask the person out on text message. Strike up a short text conversation and then ask when is a good time to talk on the telephone.
Trying to text your way into a date without ever talking on the phone is obnoxious. I had a guy who wanted to only text until we met in person. I told him forget it I needed a phone call. I got the phone call and went on the date but afterwards the followup came on text message. It was obvious this person wanted a relationship run on text and I sent them packing saying no thanks, I need a guy that calls me. Generally speaking the first text should be a friendly lead in to a phone call. If they can’t even do that set them straight and send them packing. If it reeks of too much texting at the outset, it is too much texting and most likely doomed.
Sometimes it is ok to text, because someone will touch base on text and their first text will ask when is a good time to call. Those types of intros are always good, the person wants to call but texts first to make sure its a good time. So, there are certain instances where a first text can over acceptably.
I’ll give an example a man wants to ask a women out and to make her feel comfortable he gives his number saying would you call if you feel comfortable I’d like to ask you out. He might be protecting her privacy knowing that girls don’t like to give out their phone number. That way, she could call him from a restricted number. He could also be avoiding rejection by outright asking for her number. If the girl is interested she can either give him her cell number also and tell him its fine to call, or she might text him at the number he provided and let him know its ok for him to call her.
Well if you comfortable sending or recieving a first text message to touch base upon exchanging cell phone numbers, its good to use it to touch base but always follow it up with a real phone call. Here are some tips for a good first text message where you are touching base as a lead in to a phone call.
Don’t use bad grammer, spelling, and netspeak mispelt abbreviations and words
Examples of common bad spelling to avoid are use of words like ur, r, u, ya, cant, hit, realy, luv, wat, x, etc. These are all considered stupid slang. Dating experts from online dating sites recommend that ice breaker texts not use bad spelling. These are considered a turn off and deal breakers. So, if you are going to send out an ice-breaker text to someone you want to date then make sure to spell correctly at least until you know them alot better. Use the proper grammer and punctuation when starting out. You can always go to hell in a hand basket from there.
Keep compliments classy and don’t focus just on physical appearance
If you use too sexy words it could give the wrong impression to the person that you are only interested in a physical relationship. So, don’t set a sex tone speak to your messages when you text them. Words not to use include hot, cutie, sexy, beautiful, gorgeous, foxy, fox, hottie, hooters, etc.
Words that will go over better and send the right impression are cool, awesome, fascinating, it’s nice that, wonderful, unique, vibrant, and so on. They keep the compliments on the up and up and focus on the person not just the photographs. If you stick to this you can help yourself avoid dipping into the sexual gutter too fast.
Women especially are leery about men trolling for sex on the internet dating sites. They might be duped and fall for it if you are the very first guy they meet after getting online. But once they’ve tested the waters and been on a few dates they will pick up on the guys that seem to be interested in only one thing. Even compliments like you are very pretty should be avoided. If you want to say pretty, say pretty sure instead. Descriptive words that have a complimentary bell to the them are great so long as they are not directed right at the persons looks.
Be unique and put them at ease
Believe it or not, being unique can give a good first impression. Words like hi, hey and hello are sort of vanilla. You could show your personality more with how’s it going, what’s up, hola, even howdy. Informal standard greetings are more calming like you already know the person well, than the more business ones like Hello, Maam and Good Day. The goal is to put the person more at ease than that. Make them feel as though you are a friend as opposed to a job interviewer or police officer.
Religious preferences
Things like religious preferences and politics can be touchy. If you don’t share the same then don’t go there early on. If you are both christian, jewish, muslim or whatever, then you are fine. But its easiest to be atheist or maybe spiritual but not religious, open minded, etc. That way you match up with more people. Saying something trite like I am into God though, can be rather odd. Mentioning your religion helps however you don’t want to inadvertently come to an impass and be instantly religiously incompatable before even getting to know the person at all.
Show you have a heart
Confident and cocky can be ok, but when it comes to messaging a little bit of self effacement can be a bonus. If you are able to use words like kinda, probably, pretty, awkward, apologize, sorry and so on, you are going to show you have a soft side. You don’t want to come across as a total cactus so words that describe things in moderation show you to be flexable and accomodating. That is another feature that will put the person being texted at ease.
Key into specifics about the person
If you know the person likes samba, plays in a band, likes classic rock, water sports, or eats vegetarian, then key into those specific interests. That is definitely a time honored way to show someone you read their profile and share similar interests with them. This will also put them at easy and make them feel like you two have things in common to talk about. This is important in first conversations and meetups because people are concerned about feeling awkward communicating with a total stranger or appearing at a blind date. The more at ease they are that you are cut from at least some of the same cloth as they are, the better.
Remember to be literate, use proper language and grammer, avoid focusing on the physical, be unique, offer compliments relating to their personality rather than phsical assets, use self effacing words to show your soft side, be interested in the hobbies of your potential date, and stay away (initially) from potential personal hotspot subjects like politics and religion.
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