Should I text message him if I haven’t heard from him?

This is such a common dating question.  Should I text him?  Text message as a major means of communicating with someone you are dating sucks so completely don’t be surprised if it ruins your relationship.  It doesn’t work as a meaningful conversation.  And if you let meaningful conversations take place on text message don’t be surprised if you get dumped on text message too.

When to text

Text when you want to send a sweet nothing.  Don’t send a sweet nothing every hour of the day.  Sweet nothings should be random not constant.  Text if you are getting texted nonstop and are busy to let the other person know.  I am in a meeting talk later is all you need to say.  Text when you are happy not when you are mad.  Text to let the person know if you are running late or have arrived and are waiting.  Text to reconfirm a meeting time or get an address. 

Text when you want to lightly flirt, touch base or confirm something.  For these lightweight purposes texting is a great way to communicate.  It’s okay to text him yet don’t demand a respond.  Don’t text then get mad about it.  If you notice that you are doing all the texting and he doesn’t even bother to text back then you should cut way down on the text messages

When not to text

Don’t text when you are annoyed.  Don’t text when you are mad.  Don’t text when you are trying to talk about your relationship.  Don’t text when you are making accusations.  Don’t text to bitch.  Don’t text when you are bored out of your mind.  Don’t text when you want to criticise him.  Don’t text to berate.  Don’t text to cajole.  Don’t text to convince. 

No amount of text messages will convince someone to be with you.  They either want to be with you or they don’t and texts won’t help they actually might hurt by making you look too pushy, desperate and needy.  If you start doing most of your communicating by text message and allow this pattern of communication to continue, you’ll have a text relationship not a real relationship.  If all you do is text your boyfriend and hookup, he’s not your boyfriend he’s a casual dating buddy.

As soon as you sense a major discrepancy between your text message habits and his its time to adapt and fall into a pattern consistent to his.  Otherwise, you’ll find yourself in a relationship where you are doing all the work and the other person gets lazy and doesn’t bother.   If you’re texting and he’s not responding you aren’t in a relationship at all.


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