Should you get back together at the drop of a text message?

Should you get back together at the drop of a text message?  Lets assume as an example that you and your ex went NC (no contact).  You broke up or were broken up with, decided it was for the best or you didn’t have a choice, and have not spoken for weeks on end. 

Now all of a sudden you get a simple four word text from your ex that says that they miss you.  Should you respond?  Should you take it seriously?  The answer to that question depends on a lot of things.

Who was the one who dumped who?  Who was the one that had the higher interest level and was more interested in getting the relationship to really work?  And most importantly was there another woman (or man) involved as a cause for the breakup?

If you were the one dumped abruptly, and your interest level was always higher than his/hers, then I would not suggest you jump back in with your ex at the drop of a text. 

After all, they dumped you.  They made a loud statement that they would rather take their chances in life elsewhere.  They weren’t as interested in you and treated you like an option not a priority.  And if they went off and got with another woman/man you should seriously consider whether to ever take them back at all.  So, if this is the situation, think twice before jumping at a mere text they send. 

Being desperate and then elated to hear from them does not make their puny text crumb a saint.  Don’t forget how much they hurt and abused your trust.  Don’t forget the breakup and the miserable nights where you felt like you’d been hit with a brick to the head.  Don’t forget what happened just because they deigned to drop you a text crumb.

Why an I miss you text is not enough

An I miss you text is really not enough of an olive branch for you to consider hooking back up with an ex.  Whatever you do don’t let them shimmy shag their way over right after a text.  It may be that they are feelings things out and seeing if they have a chance of messing with your head again.  It may be for their own selfish reasons.  They may be drunk.  They may want to see if you’ve moved on because they are curious.  They may have had one split second of nostalgia and nothing more.  After all, you haven’t talked so now they are wondering what you are up to.

It’s just them putting feelers out or scratching a boredom itch.  You should probably either ignore the text or let them know they can give you a call if they want and you will talk to them.  I mean, if they can’t call you then you certainly should not be getting back with them!  Let them give you time of day, not text of night.

If there is another woman involved you should definitely not have anything to do with them.  That woman needs to be history.  If you are sure that he’s been involved and has had a sexual history with this other woman you should never jump at an I miss you text.  More often than not, your ex is just having a quarrel with the other woman (or man) and knocking on your door as an eff-u to their new partner.  If your ex is into another intimate relationship you should not hook up with them and you should not engage with them.  This is not fair to you and you should not tolerate it.  If you suspect they have someone else trust your instincts because they probably do.

Look for more signs than a text message

Look for more signs that just a pathetic text message.  If they come to your door and leave flowers on your doorstep then that sounds more like a person that still wants you, and not an ego stroke for them-self.  Let them do something selfless, like get you flowers, or a peace offering present for Valentine’s day, or they ask you out on a date, suggest meet you somewhere to talk it out, or apologize and really mean it.  Let them tell you they want a real relationship with you.  In person, not on text.  If you were dumped for another girl or guy do not go back quickly, easily, or even at all.

If you see a genuine effort from your ex to do what it takes to get you back and fix your relationship and address all the issues involved, then consider taking them back.  Their effort should be above and beyond a stupid text itch scratch where they say something to you while drunk or in a tiff with their new woman.  Look for something tangible, something real, something that involes them acting selflessly and getting off their arse to do it. 

You are worth more than a text

An I miss you text just doesn’t cut it.  It doesn’t make up for the fact that they screwed you over and turned your life upside down.  If your ex tries to get back with a text, its a sure sign you probably shouldn’t get back together with them at all.  Even your own ex would be surprised you if you actually fell for their drunken bullshizzle text.


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