Before you run out and fall head over heels for a handsome new love interest, first find out if he is even interested in the same type of relationship that you are. If he manages his relationship with you primarily using text msgs its a major warning sign that he is a player. Here are telltale cellphone related tips for spotting that player.
They have alot of friends that you never meet
Men who are players have infectious personalities and they know how to use them to get what they want. If they are socially smooth they will have a good group of male friends that they hang out with, many of whom are single. They might be on plenty of sports teams and if a Friday or Saturday night presents itself they likely won’t be sitting at home lonely.
If your new love has lots of friends that you never meet take notes. He might talk about the friends but never really mention introducting you to them. For example, you will never get to go to one of his extracurricular activities such as a game he plays in or sports team event. You won’t be invited to the game. Much of their social life will be held separately from yours. If you have been seeing them for a few months and have never met friends it is a warning sign that he is a player with other options and things to do.
They are overly protective of their cell phone whereabouts when you are together
A player will show his cards on text message pretty quickly. Phone patterns are telltale signs. Does he leave his phone sitting out when you are around? If not, he is keeping his phone aka black book close to his heart. If he takes his phone to the bathroom with him, well he doesn’t want it beep beeping with new texts right under your nose. Another sign is that he has to silence the phone when he is with you. If other women are in contact with them he will definitely want to block their access while he is with you, particularly if he is still trying to hide the fact that he is a player from you.
They are into text communications and anything electronic to a higher degree than good old phone calls and face to face conversations
A player will be very well versed on cell phone technology and the social networking venues from facebook to texting to internet dating to instant messaging to email. You will always feel like classic communication is missing from your relationship. You won’t have conversations about your real day to day life, they just won’t ask you about it. You’ll have a fantastic time when you are together but in between those meetings you will feel like your emotional needs are not being met. Something will feel like its missing and they won’t be in touch with you very often. When they do get in touch they will opt for text msgs or electronic communications.
You’ll delude yourself to thinking this person just doesn’t want to talk on the phone but trust me that people that give a damn about you in life want to talk on the phone and also in person. You’ll know your communications are way too electronic but keep brushing it aside making excuses for it. Pretty soon you’ll be so messed up and downgraded to electronics that a stupid piddly text message from them will excite you. If you feel like a real connection is missing from your relationship then it is exactly what it is: a real connection is in fact missing. Don’t brush it off and acclimate yourself with accepting crumb communcications like texts.
Plans are flaky and they leave you hanging on text
People know what they are doing on the weekends. 100% they absolutely know exactly what it is that they are up to. If you are dating someone that texts you during the week and talks about your schedule and a possible get together but remains non commital on text message, its a bad bad sign. Players have a real hard time making plans with you. You’ll find yourself pulling your hair out and frustrated about vacuous plans.
A non-date is a nickname I created for a potential date that they talk about with you but it is never pinned down until that night happens. A nondate usually doesn’t wind up panning out. The day and then the night comes and goes and you sit home analysing whether you had a concrete plan with him or not. You’re not even sure and you don’t want to press him so you wait around wondering if he will materialize. If you do text, he just won’t get back to you that day or night.
He might show up and save the day but if you have a tentative plan for a Friday night don’t expect to hear from him until after 4pm that night even if you are lucky. Players will refuse to commit until the last possible minute. You’ll be sitting by the phone wondering if they will call you and rolling over and over in your head whether you actually made a plan with him or just talked about it. You’ll be so confused you won’t even know if you had a date or not. It’s a non-date.
You don’t even know if you really had one therefore you can’t exactly say you were stood up. This type of balking and hesitation on their part will drive you crazy. If they refuse to confirm plans until the last possible minute they are not just flakes, they are executing this on purpose. They have to hesitate because in reality they won’t get with you until they know that they have nothing better going on. Players hate making plans and you will find yourself in an endless windmill of maybe we will get togethers on text message.
You’ll be texting them on their birthday rather than having plans with them on their birthday
If you are dating a player you will fall into a mostly texting pattern. He’ll keep in touch with you that way to continue to string you along. You sortof won’t know its happening because texting is such a common means of communication. But if you really look at it without those rose colored glasses on, you’ll see the truth. Life is passing you by while you remain in the texting twilight zone hoping to see him again soon as the days and weeks pass on by.
When its his birthday you’ll be texting him happy birthday. When he is on vacation you’ll be texting him asking if he’s having fun. You’ll think you are together but trust me you aren’t together just because he texts you back and texting means zero, zip zero. What does mean something is that you do not share any lifes moments with him. What you share is texting and brief get togethers that are fly by night and rarely pre-planned. Recognize if his life is happening while you merely text in to him from a distance. If you were together with him, you’d be in the life, not texting into it from the outside.
You are thoughtful and make excuses for his lack of thoughtfulness
A player will usually buy you a few token gifts when you first start dating him. These happen before you get physical with him. After you get physical and he rocks your world, he’ll think he owns you at least until you find someone else. His confidence that you are hooked is all he needs and after that point his token gifts will drop off precipitously. He’s already asked the basics about your life when he was seducing you and now he quits asking. Suddenly he no longer knows when your birthday is or when things are happening in your life. Quite frankly, he doesn’t care. It’s all about him.
When the focus shifts all on him after the initial honeymoon phase, the incoming phone calls and dates will drop off and disappear and mainly you’ll be communicating on text message. There won’t be any small presents or special moments recognized. There is no you as a couple. Most of the time, it becomes you texting him and trying to compensate for the relationship turning out to be a facade. Usually you’ll take up the reigns and do all the legwork in an effort to pretend there is a togetherness. In reality, you don’t have a real space in their world.
This is the point at which you start to obsess over the patterns of communication. You’ll find yourself typing into yahoo and google search assinine things like he never texts, i always initiate, is he a player, signs that he is not into you, texts that will make him crave me, why does he never text back, am i getting dumped, what is the best comeback for him never texting, and so on and so forth. You start to toss and toil and waste innumerable hours going over idiotic details with girlfriends who become numb from hearing your bullshizzle about this guy.
You’ll be telling incredibly dumb stories and drilling your friends on how you texted him after he never texted you for over a week and how long it took for him to respond and what he said and so on. Pretty soon not even your friends will be able to listen to you perseverate on and on. They’ll say lose him. At this point you might actually get up some ill-advised girlfriend fueled gumption and toxically press him on text message about your non existent status.
Now that he knows you are onto him he will step up and say that he isen’t ready for a relationship. Essentially, once you push it you’ll get dumped on text. It won’t be a dumping though, it will be a downgrading. The player understands you are onto him and he throws down the text gauntlet: put up with just texts once in a while and an occasional hookup, or shut up.
You are blocked from his social profiles and if you can see them you won’t like what you see
If you are dating a player then there will be very obvious signs of his status all over his social profiles. For one thing, a player will have active profiles on the internet dating sites. He might try to pretend he is not active or not actively pursuing someone, but all that is a lie. He logs on every day and updates his photos periodically. No matter how much you convince yourself that he is doing it out of habit, the fact is he is doing it. He is. He is open to continuing to meet other people right under your nose while you are trolling your phone waiting for a lousy text message from him. Hey maybe he’s not texting because he is busy phone calling 10 other women he’s actively talking to on the internet. He’s busy alright. Busy being online.
A player will let you in on their social profiles to make it seem like you are on the in with them initially. But if he does, you can quickly see the signs of other women. If you can see facebook friends lists of his, you will see plenty of female friends. Female single friends on facebook are so blatently obvious to find. The ones who are single are going to have Sharon Stone crotch shots, cleavage shots and sexy profile pictures that they keep rotating. It is so obvious that they are pimping themselves out.
Normal people on facebook put up a profile picture and rarely change it. They just keep in touch with their friends and they don’t sit there rotating sexy poses daily. If your player has a plethora of female friends on his facebook friends list in sexy poses, I’d start to wonder. It is probably women he has dated, is dating, or will be dating. Sorry but women popping up and disappearing off his friends list in sexy Holloween costumes and Nurse outfits etc, does not bode well. If you press a player on all of his friends he’ll try hard to make you think you are crazy. Women’s intuition is rarely crazy though. If you feel insecure you often have a good reason to be.
Technology gives away a player
All told you can take some basic technology pieces from this person you are dating and if you look without deluding yourself then the signs of a player will be right there staring you in the face. A player will force you into mostly text communcications and the text communications will be open ended, non commital and flaky. He’ll be private about his phone. He might get late night mystery text messages when he is with you that he ignores, when he forgets to turn his phone off. His social profiles will reek of single women trying to impress him with sexy rotating pictures. If he doesn’t block you from viewing his wall you’ll see him commenting on sexy poses and flirting with other women right under your nose. Lastly, you’ll be waiting for that text message to confirm a non-date plan that you don’t even know if it exists, while meanwhile his dating profile is still active on three sites and oopsie there he is online now. Maybe you should text him … NOT.