Are you tired of waiting for him to commit? Here are suggestions for how you can take control of a stalled relationship.
Relationships that are succeeding tend to progress. They progress along a course of dating, to exclusivity, to boyfriend and girlfriend, to commitment, to getting engaged, and to ultimately getting married and staying together.
If your relationship is stalled, then it is not progressing normally and obviously there is a problem. Women often find themselves dating a man on and off for years, or dating intensely and then fizzling, or living together but finding themselves unable to get their man to commit.
Some women can stay in a lengthy relationship before the guy actually commits. Some women stay in a lengthy relationship for years trying to get the guy to commit but in the end he leaves and commits quickly to the next woman that comes along. So what is the difference between the woman that succeeds in getting her man after all that time, and the woman who winds up completely screwed over? It’s all about her attitude, confidence and choices.
A confident vibe is what can move a stalled relationship forward
The woman who succeeds in moving a stalled relationship to the next level is the woman with the confidence. She’s the woman who makes a choice every single day as to whether she herself wants to stay in that relationship or not. This woman is going to be self confident, feel internally as though she has options, and she is not going to be fighting with her man over commitment.
This is a woman who is making her own choices and who is not controlled or upset by what he is doing. If she is fine with staying in the relationship then she is more likely to get a commitment in the long run from her man.
It’s the woman who gets angry, feels intensely, gets sad or completely loses her cool over their status that will never get a stalled relationship out of its horrible rut. This type of women has too many feelings of pressure, anger and desperation to succeed. She’s the woman who finds herself at the mercy of a man and she is the least likely one to extract a commitment out of him. In fact, she is setting herself up to be a string along girlfriend that will eventually get cut loose for a stronger willed woman.
Having solid control of her own life choices can move a stalled relationship forward
The woman who can move a relationship forward is not at the mercy of any one man. In fact, she is confident throughout and feels like she can have her choice of men. She doesn’t buy into becoming a basket-case because he won’t commit to her. Instead she evaluates what he has to offer her. She doesn’t wait around for him to do anything. Instead, she evaluates the situation for herself and then she makes her own educated choice if she decides to continue to be with him. She assumes all of the risk and responsibility for her choices.
If she sees her man not committing to her, instead of arguing with him about it and ruining the relationship completely, she keeps her options open with other men. She keeps her eyes peeled, maybe even keeps her dating options opened by actively seeing other people. The point is that she has her eyes wide open so she is not blaming her man for what is going on. She is either making a choice to stay or making a choice to leave and continue dating others because he is seemingly not interested in commitment.
A woman who is more likely to get a commitment from a man is the one that has a really solid sense of control of her own life. She has things going on her life and she doesn’t become paranoid or at his mercy. If she feels her biological clock ticking and sees her current relationship as stalled she will leave it if that’s what it comes down to. She’s a woman who has an inner steel that she has her own choices to make. A man is not going to dictate her life. She makes her own choices. She does not give him the power to scare her into submitting to or accepting a stalled relationship.
Owning responsibility can move a stalled relationship forward
Women who get caught up as string along girlfriends, on and off girlfriends, or live in girlfriends with no commitment, will often blame their boyfriend for the stalled relationship. It’s true that the boyfriend is to blame for the stall, but then again, she is equally to blame after a certain point because she is accepting the current stall status that he offers her.
A woman who radically rejects a stalled status is the most likely to move a relationship forward. This is because when a woman stays with a man without relationship progression, he figures that she understands what she has gotten herself into. He learns that he can get away with it and she will stay put. His figures that his behavior is obvious so if she is willingly along for the ride then he is not going to take personal responsibility for her losses. Her losses could be huge, because she could be investing years of her life into a stalled relationship that will never progress to the next stage.
Even though a man can be taking heinous advantage of a woman’s time and even going to far as wasting her childbearing years jacking her around on commitment, he still is not going to accept personal responsibility for what is happening to her. He is going to think “she’s a grownup” and if she stuck around its her own choice and fault. If the relationship fails and turns badly soured he may even have secret glee that he used her up and then moved on.
A woman who accepts her responsibility in staying in a stalled relationship is going to fare way better than one that tries to move the blame onto the boyfriend. She is going to be more responsible and more likely to make rational choices. She will either stay because she is invested and work on things without secretly resenting him, or she will leave because she isen’t getting what she wants out of the relation. The difference is that she is making her own choices rather than assigning blame to him. She sees how he is acting so her choice whether to stay or go is something she accepts full responsibility for.
A stalled relationship can move forward when you stop sacrificing your own wants and needs
Women are taught to wait, be patient and sacrifice their own needs to please a man and eventually cajole him into commitment. But this attitude really doesn’t work. It leads to insecurity, resentment and ultimately the man driving and controlling the relationship entirely.
A woman who is strong and will never sacrifice her wants and needs or wait around for a man, is going to be the very woman that gets a committed man. The reason is that she will accept no less than that. She lets a man know up front that she is looking for a commitment. Then she makes her choice as to how long and whether or not she wants to stay around him. There is no waiting. Instead, there is her decision as to what she feels like doing.
A stalled relationship can move forward when she is willing to leave
It’s when she is willing to leave a relationship over staying in a stalled relationship that solutions to the stall are found. She might get busy with her own life. She might start dating other men or keep her options open. She might start focusing more on developing her own life with or without him.
As soon as a woman is willing to leave a relationship if she is not getting what she wants out of it, she has more control in the relationship than she ever had before. She will demonstrate to him that she cares and does want the relationship to progress, but she will also takes steps to move her own life forward over sitting around waiting on him to sh-t or get off the pot.
A woman who can get a stalled relationship to move forward is one that will never put her life on hold for any man. She won’t wait for a man. She lives her own life instead. She has her own rules and her own boundaries and she listens to her own needs. This is a woman who stays true to herself and doesn’t become a prisoner to a man’s relationship pace. If a man wants to be with her, he will have to either step up or step off.