Stop texting and get over someone who you can’t have

Did you know that much of obsessive texting stems from getting a whiff of someone who you like a bunch but ultimately can’t really have?  Women and men who go crazy with the texting are almost always dealing with someone who they have dated briefly but who turns out to be not sufficiently interested enough to become a real boyfriend or girlfriend.  They are willing to you date briefly, intermittently, or casually but not seriously.

If you want to stop texting him (or her) it’s time to learn how to get over a crush that you have little chance of getting to go the distance with you.  If you get courageous and establish good boundaries, you will be able to overcome your text obsession with someone who just isn’t that into you enough to text you back regularly.  Here are a few tips that will help you get a grip and get over someone who you can’t have, which will also help you to stop texting them out of insecurity, boredom or desperation!

Consider what is, not what your fantasy is

First of all you need to start considering reality and not what your fantasy about them is.  Women especially will hang on to men who they are merely a booty call to, because they keep remembering how nice he was in the beginning, before the casual hookup pattern was established.  This is just wrong thinking since people are on their best behavior at the beginning of a relations.  Consider how they are treating you now, and get off your imagination about if you only do this, and they only do that, things will be better.  You can’t force them to do anything, and texting them nonstop certainly won’t help.

Realize that there are other people.  Tunnel vision of a girl or a guy never helps.  Even if there is nobody in sight but the dry barren desert, there are other people in this world who you will meet.  If one of the people in the world does not want to be with you, or even if a few people in the world don’t want to be with you, it certainly does not mean your life is over. 

Stay strong and realize that the vast majority of relationships are ultimately not going to work out.   Men who understand the laws of abundance always enjoy great success with women.  They realize there are more women out there, and they therefore have solid boundaries in a relationship as to what they will or won’t put up with.  This creates attraction and draws women to them like a magnet.  It’s because they don’t rest their hopes and dreams on one person, that helps them keep perspective and do so well in getting women to become and stay interested.  When you aren’t depending on an outcome with any single person, you turn yourself into somewhat of a commodity in the dating world.  Suddenly, you are outcome independent.

Be realistic

Don’t be afraid to acknowledge and realize it when you aren’t being treated right.  Accepting that someone doesn’t want to hear from you or talk to you regularly is a tough one.  Accepting that someone wants you to leave them alone or that someone wants to pursue other options is also touch.  But if you are smart you will accept these ups and downs and take them seriously.  If someone doesn’t contact you for a few weeks they are sending you a strong message that they are not very interested in you or your life.  The sooner that you come to turns with that, the sooner you can move on and find other people to hang out with instead.  It can be lonely to accept no as an answer, but its a whole lot better than not taking no as an answer and continuing to bother someone.  Chasing someone who is not interested in you causes you to lose respect for yourself and they will also lose respect for you too.

Keep your distance

Dating experts suggest no contact for a reason. It’s not just a strategy for getting them back or a game that you play.  No contact can be really healthy when you need to get over someone you can’t have.  If you are intimate it allows that oxytocin hormone to wear off and that really helps you to mentally disconnect.  It is really hard for the first few days, weeks, months.  After that, it gets so much easier.  If you are obsessing just know that a couple of months away from them will be depressing yet it will open your eyes up to the relationship.  Your sanity will creep back in and you will be able to understand little things like how perhaps this relationship wasn’t ideal.  You start to think straight rather than putting them on a pedestal.

Start living again

After keeping your distance you will slowly start to live again.  After a few months you won’t wake up numb.  And if you are numb, it will feel OK because at least you aren’t getting cancelled on, ignored, name-called, criticized, or put down.  There are advantages to spending time apart.  As soon as you feel up to it, get busy.  Go out and meet new people, volunteer, workout, and just do what you gotta do to get your own life going again.  Once you focus on your own life, your focus on their life will be reduced. 

If you really want to stop texting and text obsessing, you need to learn how to get over someone who is only giving you relationship crumbs.  First, don’t fantasize the relationship but instead judge it on how you are being treated now.  Be real and don’t keep running up against a brick wall if someone is not reciprocating your interest levels.  Finally, keep your distance from men or women who really aren’t treating you well.  Take care of yourself.  If you find yourself going over the deep end and psycho-texting him or her when things are cooling off, remember the law of abundance.  There are other people in the world and your sun should never rise and set with someone who clearly does not love you.  Get involved in other things and slowly you will stare at your phone less and less. 

Eventually you will develop a crush on someone new and you will wonder why you ever put up with poor treatment in the first place.  Always remember that some people will happily take what they can out of short-term relationships but it in no way means they want to be with you long-term.  Rejection is common, most relationships do not work out, and most everyone has experienced relationships where they could briefly date, but ultimately not get serious with a person because that person just didn’t want to take it to the next leve.  Accept it graciously, and move on.  Lastly, you would be surprised how many people come back around when they realize that you aren’t going to chase them down to the ground.  You can’t force someone to want to be with you.  It takes two.

How to get over someone


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