Over texting your boyfriend or girlfriend can have a deterimental impact on your relationship. Whether you are in the initial phasas of dating him or her, or a bonafide couple, your texting habits will take it’s toll. Ladies if you want to both catch him and keep him, then consider your texting habits equally as important as to phone calls and do your texting right.
You are going to get alot out of this. For men, lasting commitment isen’t just a matter of choice for him. He has to feel an ongoing strenghtening connection with you. How you interact with him and communicate with him is important. Some women have the tendency to smother their potential boyfriends and this is a total turn off by the way.
It takes a specific set of ongoing positive experiences to keep that man loving and sharing information with you as time goes on. You can’t chase a man or lead them into a more committed relationship by texting them constantly. They need their space and you have to let the man do an equal amount of chasing if not more than you as part and parcel of your romance.
Don’t make the mistakes I am other women have made in the past and learned from. If you are stuck on an idea that you are having bad luck with men then forget it. Relationships get wrecked by the way you act way more often than they get wrecked by bad luck. If you notice your communication patterns going off kilter I will tell you that your man may stick around but he will likely not grow more intereseted in you. You might lose him, or get downgraded in your status with him. Neither scenarios are good for your heart trust me.
If you notice you are pusuing way too much with your texts take note. You don’t have to see it by his behavior yet you probably will in the sense that he will back off of contacting you. You can see it just by looking at how much you are texting him and if it is substantially more than he texts you then you may have a problem. In order to ensure a good communication situation you have it within your power to change and simply text less. This is true with phone calls and emails, if you notice him backing off then just follow his lead and try to communicate more equally with him. Ping ponging back and forth texting between two people is way better then just pure hitting pure text serves with no return.
The problem with addictively texting your romantic interest too much is that it is really hard to change the bad habit once it has taken hold. You are contacting that person all the time out of an extreme urgent desire to connect and once you’ve been doing it a long time it becomes compulsive and starts to turn him or her off.
There are two simple truths here. You have to recognize you are headed towards or already precipitously close to an unhealthy and harrassing text pattern. Then, you have to be prepared to do the hardest things ever which is, you will have to change your behavior. Change is really hard, much harder than you think. Changing the way you are is not impossible however most people get very, very rooted in their behavior patterns and its darn near impossible to change. You have to.
It’s like taking an on again off again relationship with bad fighting patterns thats been going on for years and all of a sudden saying stop and change the way you are acting to effect a change in the result. It’s such an easy concept and yet so hard to do. Most the times people can’t change destructive cycles so they just continue re-enacting themselves.
So, if you notice texting becoming problematic the first step is to accept the simple fact that it is really you and only you that holds the real power to change things. Don’t expect the other person to change or initiate the change or even to help you make a change. Many people would rather up and leave a potential relationship (or downgrade its status) before wanting to babysit a partner through a big behavior change. You are the one that has to do it and change. Then let the other person follow suit or not.
Instead of saying negative or ctitical things to the other person accusing them of not contacting you enough or putting in enough work, change. Contact them a little less. Instead worrying and feeling bad and constantly analyzing why you are doing all the initiating, change. Instate of becoming angry and driving a person away, change. Instead of becoming pathetic, emotional or needy change. The change is going to be hard and you might fall off the wagon.
You might stop texting for a few weeks and then the person doesn’t contact you and you blow up at them. You can’t do this. You can’t change for a while and then flip out when the person doesn’t do what they are supposed to do. Prepare to change for months and months, permanently. If this means you have to cut your texts down to nothing for months on end before hearing from someone then that is what you have to do. You might get hurt or even be alone but your constant texting was harming the relationship you have to change and really follow through on it permanently.
Stop trying to convince him to change or like you more and change your texting of him if you are being too smothering. Just back off. You can let him know you are making an effort or not to change your behavior or not depending on your wishes. If he isen’t complaining about the texts but is just contacting you infrequently then change and back down your texting so he or she can get some air. If they have already complained about constant texts then you can let them know you are going to try and change and stop the constant texting and then follow through and really do it.
The main point is that you get that you are texting to much and put in the willpower and true effort to change your behavior for good. Once you have made a real decision to change and aren’t just giving it lip service you can follow some specific steps. They include things like looking at your phone bills, counting texts, texting equally, infrequently, understanding text etiquette and even turning off your text plan if thats what it takes. Be sure to continue to read all of the stop texting tips and ideas and find what approach to stopping compulsive texting works best for you. If this blog doesn’t help you recognize bad texting and quit it, then nothing will :-).