If you are on this relationship and text messages website because you feel frustrated when it comes to your communication with him then keep reading. There are two common mistakes in communication that might drive him away. The first is sharing too many feelings with him on text message, and the second is having unrealistic expectations that lead to frustration and foul mood.
Sharing too many feelings with him on text message
Text etiquette is critical in coming across as your best self in a relationship. A very important text etiquette tip is to refrain from sharing too much information on text message with a man.
Women mistakenly think that if they share gory details of their emotions to a man on text that this will inspire him to share his feelings in response. I won’t work. He is not your gossiping girlfriend and he is going to have a totally different emotional response to too much sharing.
Rather than open up and get in touch with his feelings he is going to want to run for the hills. This is particularly true if you are already gushing feelings too heavily. If he is starting to withdraw or has withdrawn, an outpouring of feelings will most like turn him off and it won’t be inspiring to him. You would be better off sharing fewer feelings on text message. At least that way, you will leave him wondering why you aren’t reacting and tantrums over his disappearing act.
You can avoid this communication mistake be simply following common sense text etiquette. Never bare all on text. Avoid conducting the entire relationship on text and if this is happening to you just stop texting. Don’t fight or discuss detailed things like your relationship status on text message as you will never get what you want this way and plus it’s just ridiculous sounding to even try. He will lose all respect and demote you to a text only relationship where he barely lifts a finger. You deserve a phone call.
Having unfounded expectations that lead to dramatic behavior
Having unrealistic expectations is a huge communication mistake made by women. The two main culprits are when you first start dating and text all the time, then expect that sort of continuous communication to continue over the entire course of the relation. It can’t. He will text all the time when he is smitten but once you’ve been dating a bit the communication will naturally slow down to something sustainable. Slow down with him, instead of freaking out that he is pulling away and scrambling after him over it.
Common text etiquette can help you out here as well. If you try to make sure that he is responding in a back and forth manner to text messages, you can enable healthy two-way communication. If you find you are sending him some 10 texts before he even replies to one, you ought to back off on the texts. Texts should be two-way and when they become one way he will have the tendency to start tuning out as just being noise.
The next culprit of unfounded expectations is after you get intimate with him. Just because you got intimate with him does not mean you are automatically exclusive or that he is going to take down his Internet dating profile or stop seeing and pursuing other women. If you haven’t discussed relationship status then your expectations should be close to nothing. You are just dating whether you are intimate or not.
If getting intimate with him means that you are exclusive to him, then you should not get intimate with him until he actually says and agrees to be exclusive. That’s the only way to get a commitment. If he is not commitment minded then you won’t get the commitment. Then it’s up to you to decide if you want to invest time into a man where the chances of getting him to yourself are pretty slim. That’s your choice and you need to make the decision.
If he won’t be exclusive and you continue to see him then he will won’t feel guilty or responsible for wasting your time. he may even send out strong singles that you are casual so you don’t get any ideas. He may restrict communication to text, only see you one another’s houses and refuse to go out, or refrain from introducing you to friends. He hopes you see the writing on the wall and understand that you are agreeing to a casual relationship but if you don’t, he won’t feel bad when you implode. Instead, he will think, wow, wasn’t it obvious we were not boyfriend and girlfriend?
As far as text etiquette goes, you need to stop yourself from having unfounded expectations. The relationship is not going on alone in your head and about what you want or wish for. It’s about reality and what is really happening. Some women will be in a text-only, casual relationship for months that does not progress but she’s making excuses for him the whole entire time and hanging in there simply because she wishes for the relationship to be more when in reality it isn’t more it’s showing signs of going absolutely nowhere but maybe the bedroom.
If you expect the relationship is going to be more or is more, and find it isn’t progressing, this may lead to your sending him disappointed and frustrated text messages. You’ll start behaving like a negative downer when the frustration hits a boiling point. And before that, you’ll be pretending you totally cool with casual when in reality resentment is building and bottled up. Like an explosion, eventually your fingers are going to write out a bunch of weird hysterical texts and his reaction is going to be Ewwww.
Unfounded expectations that he never actually agreed to is a slippery slope that usually winds up as a toxic text fight when the woman finally can’t take it anymore and lashes out. She blows her lid, and that’s when the guy shuts down more than ever or takes the easy route away from the drama and exits the relationship stage left.
Common text etiquette help here as well. Don’t implode in frustration on text message. It’s the worst place to finally blow your lid and can easily wreck a relationship. That’s why if you keep texting light and fun, rather than allowing it to drive and be the environment of your whole relationship, you will be so much better off. Texting just adds to the relationship as an ancillary communication method. When you let texting be the relationship you are breaking text etiquette and its guaranteed that things will not go your way.
Break out of the mistakes that women commonly make by avoiding to outpouring of too many feelings and by never having false expectations about your relationship. Use common courtesy text etiquette to help guide your behavior. Don’t text too much and make sure texts are pretty equally transpiring back and forth between the two of you. If he is not responding to your texts, text less. Never blow you stack on text message. Texts should be short and sweet as nobody wants their phone loaded with weird text angst. Keep it above-board, follow text etiquette, never text anything you are going to regret later on, and your relationship will go way better.
Prevent the fade out
If you over share your feelings and/or have unrealistic expectations about your relationship you could precipitate a breakup. The way to avoid is to keep your mind on positive thinking and maintain an upbeat attitude.
Be careful when you use your words, texting and even your body language. Men don’t always want to be sniped at, criticized or forced to have talks. They also don’t want to text all day and cannot maintain that sort of activity indefinitely. Share your feelings in person when possible and keep a lid on pent-up frustrations so that you do not explode in a tired of text messages.
Finally, don’t try to make a man give you a commitment when he has no intention of doing so. It’s better to be a positive upbeat person with or without him and see if he steps up and has something to offer you because you are amazing to be around and have a great life on your own.
If you find yourself trying to hook-nose a man into something and are writhing around trying to make him call you, text you, be exclusive with you, and so on just stop. You might need to learn better weeding skills so that you can week out the guys who aren’t going to get serious earlier on in the process before you become addicted to them. If you can’t force him into being your boyfriend it is likely that he had no intention of doing so from the get-go and you would be better invested to focus your attention elsewhere.
Keeping sign of what you want in a relationship will help you steer clear of go-nowhere situations. It will also draw him in because you aren’t clinging and depending on him which is refreshing and attractive to men.
Mistake that destroy your relationship
|
