So you got that attractive girls phone number within the first few minutes of talking to her and now you want to see if she will go out with you or hang out. Now you stumble onto this blog article because you thought she was smoking hot and you don’t want to blow it but you are not sure how long to wait before you text or call her. Well here are a few tips for you to consider coming directly from a woman’s perspective.
She likes you, She likes you not
A woman either likes you or she doesn’t and that is the most important fundamental. Therefore, don’t worry about the subtleties of timing and texting as much as you are. If she is into you, she is into you, and whatever school of text rule you follow is out the window because she’s going to be happy to hear from you. She likes you or she doesn’t plain and simple. That being said, here are a few texting/calling tips to consider when it comes to asking her out the very first time.
You got her number now what? Touch base
If you got her number but are a little antsy and sketchy on just calling her up directly, then you can always send a nice text, short and sweet. Guys that like me typically follow up very quickly after exchanging information and also after a date. Within a day and maybe even that day of meeting a man that likes me I’ll usually get a short reassuring text message from them. That always feel good and I like it. Therefore, you might want to text her within the first day or 24 hours just to say Hi and check that the number she gave you was good. Something simple like Hi there X it was nice meeting you. If the girl is interested in you for real she will usually just pounce back with a positive text. If she does, good going. If this is a girl that you are really into and interested in getting to know you could include in that first text a Hi x its y let me know what’s a good time to call you. That’s polite too as a first text and gives her the opportunity to give you a time that she’s free so you can get her onto the phone.
From there going forward don’t text her too much and when in doubt err on the side of texting her less instead of more. The less you text her, the more each text will count.
You touched base with a text, now what?
Now that you touched base and saw whether she responded right away and/or positively, you get to proceed to starting a conversation and hopefully get her to go out with you. After you touch base with her via a quick text, wait maybe another day and then start up a conversation with her. Now depending on what type of guy you are and what your intentions are, that conversation is going to happen either on text message or as an actual phone call. In order to choose the venue text or phone, you have to have an idea of what your interest level in her really is. If she was receptive on to your text you need to make a quick determination if she is someone that you are interested in dating only casually, verses someone that you really like and want to get to know. There is a difference and I will tell you why.
Casual relationships define themselves by unfolding almost 90% plus on text message. Guys that are interested in a woman for real pick up the phone and call them after touching base. Personally, I think texting for a date is rude behavior and incredibly game player like and I hate it. That being said, some of the most gorgeous and dominant men I’ve dated and been insanely attracted to are just those kind of bad boys. I wouldn’t say they are evil as much as they are spoiled rotten and can get away with just texting for a date because they have plenty of options with women and they know it. These are the guys who in typical player fashion do almost all of their communicating with women on text. If he tries to communicate with me on text it’s a big red flag waving to me that he is just out for fun and is not really that interested in me. Then its my decision whether I want to respond to this bad boy or not. If I were to respond to a text a date I’d know I was headed right for a casual relationship and so does he. Therefore, a guy just looking to get physical will text because that screens out women who wouldn’t go there with him and insist on a phone call then date. Text a date is an easy way for him to pre-screen a woman as a possibly casual relations candidate. If you are looking for a boyfriend, you should insist on phone calls not just texts.
FYI A spoiled guy who is a bona fide player is texting over 90% of the time and you’ll have to ask him to call you or insist for him to go out of his way. He will have to really like you to do that and pick up the phone. Why? Because a phone call means something. Which leads me to say that guys who really like you and are interested in a relationship use the phone because you deserve a phone call and they know it. It is it a way for men to weed out women who aren’t into one night romances and it is also a great way for women to weed out guys who are non relationship material. If they won’t call you forget it. Guys that want a physical relationship only, use text. Guys that know they are hot and don’t have to lift up the phone use text all the time since that’s how they manage juggling women. So as a man, you sort of figure out where you honestly fit into that spectrum. Here are some of the pros verses cons on calling verses texting her after you touch base with one text message. It definitely depends on what your interest level is and an analysis of how completely smitten she is. I’ll argue that touching base first with a text message and following up shortly thereafter with a phone call is the best way to go in all cases, regardless of how gorgeous you are. You’ll see why as you read my rundown on different option scenarios.
Text a date
If you text after touching base with a girl you are definitely taking a big risk. If you are an absolutely gorgeous man, successful, and have it going on with a great lifestyle, a girl that wants you bad is going to positively respond to a text a date. But that’s only if you are out of her league that she is going to qualify and accept that type of rude behavior. Because when a girl wants something she can’t have she is going to put up with a bad boy. In fact, she’ll chase a bad boy. She’s so used to getting her way that a dominant guy who is unwilling to compromise and act normal is going to actually be a challenge to her. This is definitely a risky move because you really have to be that guy and not just faking it until you are making it. The concept that you can fake it and pretend that you are all that by having the nerve to just text her instead of call her is a fallacy. Because trust me she knows the difference.
If you are out of her league looks wise or financially secure, she’ll go along with the text a date routine. Trust me when I tell you that if you aren’t all that and try to text a date her because you read a pick up on women website that tells you to be rude, it won’t work. I had a hunk of a guy that I was mildly interested in pull the text a date routine and guess what I told him to take a hike. I didn’t care that I was attracted because he didn’t strike me as all that worth wanting to step off on the wrong relationship foot by allowing a guy to text me into a date. It would have been like walking into a casual encounter eyes wide open. Forget that. I’ve also had other very gorgeous guys try the text a date routine on me and guess what I told them to take a hike too. I never even bothered to talk to them again. Because I just wasn’t smitten enough by them to put up with rude behavior. There is only one guy I allowed to text a date me in my entire life and he was hands down the most gorgeous man I had ever seen in real life. So I guess what I am saying is that unless you are all that to her, don’t text a date. It’s rude and you stand a chance of being put out of the running with her. If she has the slightest doubt that you might be a cad or just out for some fun and you try to text a date with her all it will do is disqualify you out of the running. Conversely, if a girl responds to a text a date you’re vetting her as a potential casual relationship type of girl because she’s accepting sub standard behavior at the get go. Yuk but it does hint that she might amenable to a casual meet-up.
You better be gorgeous and have an enviable lifestyle to try and text a date because that’s the only way it will work on girls. Which leads me to believe that it is actually better to call the girl up. A quality girl and for that matter any girl is going to respect a phone call so much more. If she liked you to begin with then the phone call does you no harm or damage at all since she likes you no matter what. In fact, it makes you boyfriend material in her mind. If she was in the least bit unsure about you, a phone call shows that you have gentlemen qualities and is a bonus to you. Maybe you don’t look like Brad Pitt but you have the common sense to call her and girls value being respected, in fact those are the type of guys they marry. Do you really want to look like some player or worse yet a total schmuck by texting her for a date? Unless you are a rock star or have literally no intention of pursuing a relationship with anyone, pick up the phone. Just saying. Leave the texting for opting out of a relationship rather than first getting one off the ground.
From a female perspective if I gave my number to a guy I would like to get a short and sweet text message that day or next to touch base, which would make me feel comfortable, followed by a conversation by phone call a few days after that. These days everyone lives on a cyber text message and a girl is going to appreciate a basic phone call. Bonus points in fact. Put yourself a cut above, don’t look like or act like a shady player, and just call her.
Meetups
Meetups where you are in a younger crowd, meet say one girl or a group of girls and want to connect with that group later, are more textable. In that case you aren’t just going after a date with one girl. If you are out on the town with a posse of people and meet someone with another posse of people and want to maybe cross paths because you found her attractive then its not a date so much but rather a social gathering. In that case, texting can be OK. In fact, this would be a viable way to put yourself in the vicinity of a girl and her friends for a second time. If you do manage to meet up, you could always ask her out in person or ask if you could give her a call. So, meet-ups amongst friends can be done courteously over text but they aren’t dates that involve only two individual people. When its just two people and you are asking her out, a phone call trumps a text every single time, unless you are Brad Pitt and can get away with anything.
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