Are you wondering why he won’t commit? Sometimes you find yourself in a casual relationship with a man where you just aren’t quite good enough to get him to commit to you and yank himself off of the singles market. In the old days, the reason used to be that he just wasn’t into you. Nowadays however, mercenary bachelors are emerging. You might actually be good enough for them, but just not rich enough for him. And, you can blame the poor state of the economy for that. If you are not quite what he is looking for but still good enough to date and be intimate in the mean time, a man will use you to keep him company while he continues to look for the real thing. Finding the real thing can take a while, and he needs company along the way.
In case you haven’t noticed, we happen to be in an economic dark age where all the work and ingenuity in the world may never quite get you wealthy. The old-fashioned way of doing it yourself, is getting harder and harder to achieve. Some men, while they have a modicum of success in their career paths, are losing faith that they are going to achieve full blown financial success. Divorced men in particular, are more prone to stay bachelors unless they find a woman who can drastically modify their present lifestyle. Only then, might they consider committing.
While you are worried about your behavior, outfits and if you are socially popular enough for him (important things to him too) he might be worrying about something you hadn’t thought of, which is your bank account. If you are enjoying a casual relationship in which you see your beloved but then off he goes and you just get a text, there may be reasons he won’t commit that you hadn’t thought of. That man who won’t commit to you may actually like you however will not settle down for good because you can’t afford to take care of him for the rest of your life. Since you can’t change his lifestyle, he continues to look for someone he both likes and is capable of changing his life style. He may want to hold out for a double whammy win-win.
Money, can be the reason why you are stuck in a text message Relationship
Sometimes you are stuck in a good but non-committed relationship. While you are obsessing (and as a result of obsessing, texting) about the minutia of why he won’t commit, you fail to see he may be looking at how he can actually benefit by committing. He may be pursuing not just someone to love but someone who has a mass fortune worth going to the alter for. Never mind if he ultimately gets an iron clad pre-nup shoved at him. The upscale woman with the shining personality and fat bank account combined, represents a potential upgrade in his present lifestyle. Now that, is something worth committing for.
What does money have to do with texting? A lot. It’s a reminder that your relationship may stalled and not progressing for a number of reasons. Reasons, that you may not have even thought of. Reasons, that he may or may not tell you. It may not even be because of your personality or bad habits. It may be that no matter how perfect you are for him, you just are not rich enough for them. He may be looking for a certain set of attributes that not matter how good you contort yourself into a donut, you just don’t inherently have them, and probably never will.
Women if you find yourself getting strung along and picking apart your personality and character flaws you need to step back. You may have some flaws that need work no doubt. But there may be things on your mans agenda that you hadn’t even thought of or anticipated. It’s your job to have the best relationship you can. Men love women who have their own lives going and their own circle of friends. Looking in on your life as an outsider, they want to see a woman that should they enter her life, it has added value to their lives. Someone who they like and would at the same time benefit from being with.
Does this mean that you can’t have a man because you aren’t fabulously wealthy? No, it does not. But what it does mean is that when you find yourself strung along with a man who refuses to commit and is still scanning options, his objective might be to do better, than you. If you are getting strung along step back and ask yourself why. Maybe for the particular man you are dating, you just aren’t the dream girl he will actually trade in his bachelor status for. He might have his heart set on a younger girl, a prettier girl, a richer girl, a more popular girl, or whatever it is that his heart is set on finding and staying single until he does. It does not really matter if he has unrealistic expectations or not, what matters is that he won’t commit to you because he has them.
If all you are getting is a date, a text message, and no commitment to exclusivity, you may not be the woman for him. He may even have an agenda, gold digging or other wise, that you don’t fit with. And in some cases you can’t even take it personally because he has every right to shop around for what he wants. This is particularly true for the older men who have been around the block. They may not just be looking for a girlfriend, they may be looking for a complete lifestyle too. Only then, would they commit to something more than casual dating. One of the sad things about being in a relationship that is both intermittent and text based, is you may not be good enough for him in his eyes. That is why you are texting yet not together.
While you are busy analyzing each text message, he might be in a totally different stratosphere looking for something altogether not you and just biding his time with you. Whether he is mentally sane in his conclusion or viewpoint that he can do better so he won’t commit or not, you might want to cut him loose. Opt out. A man who is into you won’t be texting you while simultaneously seeking out something else. He will be present. Ask yourself if you really want to keep him company and allow yourself to get used as a bench warmer, while he shops around.
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