Texting boyfriend or girlfriend in response to mixed messages and confusion

One week they say

I love you, I want to be with you, I want to marry you,

I want to settle down, you are the most beautiful thing, blah blah blah-biddy blah

The next week they say

I don’t know what I want.  I’m just confused,

I have a lot of stuff going on, I need to sort my life out

And in between that they say

You’re too good for me.

I don’t deserve you

Push pull and mixed messages

That third thing they say is actually the truth and you should believe them when they say you are too good for them. And you wonder why you’re psycho texting?  Are you kidding me?  I’ll tell you why: mixed messages.  It’s a head spin, a mind eff, a merry go round, stupid excuses, push and pull, hot and cold, a roller coaster ride, a game.  Mixed messages will make you text like there is no tomorrow if you are prone to it.  At first it’s like a challenge and an intrigue to be involved with someone who creates drama.  But soon it will just become a drain.  Give it enough time and you’ll be wishing for a normal guy (or woman) who is equally hot yet not a scoundrel. Only you’ll be older because of all the time you wasted with Mr. mixed message.

People who hate drama create drama

By the way, people who claim to not like drama are the biggest drama makers at all.  They don’t like drama because they create it all the time and then when their partner acts dramatic and they don’t like it.  Duh.  Drama haters are drama attractor magnets.  They hate drama because the way they act inspires drama.  They give birth to drama and then point at the drama queens they bore and call them crazy.

It’s called the push pull and here is the rub.  If he is pushing and pulling on you like this what it means is that you are a last resort to him.  That’s why you are texting, because you want to be more to him/her than you are.  But texting them in desperation won’t work.  Leaving them is a better idea.  Creating boundaries is a better idea.  Not letting yourself become a stalker is a better idea.  The second you become a stalker he gets to take great pride in discarding you and blocking you from all of his social networking circles.  He gets to call you psycho.  Why give him (or her that satisfaction)?

Don’t be yanked around

At the end of the day, you’ve got instincts and you need to trust them.  Don’t let his or her charm, beauty, physical appearance or superficial allure suck you into the trap.  If a person is yanking you around it makes you vulnerable to being yanked around.  And people without solid boundaries who are getting yanked around start to act abnormal in response.  They start to text, cyberstalk, play detective, psychoanalyze, manufacture excuses and become disturbed themselves.

If you smell a rat at the end of the day, then trust your instincts.  Does he deny, deny, deny but you know deep down he’s lied?  Does he come on strong then ignore you completely?  Hot and cold treatment, mixed messages, and unreliable behavior seem intoxicating and mysterious at first but over time they become something else: emotional abuse.   If you stay wrapped up and engage with a person like this you are going to become a hateful revenge driven person and you won’t be able to let go and leave them alone even!

Don’t stay in a toxic relationship

A toxic relationship is one in which your wost self seems to comes out.  Sometimes you get so obsessed with your partner and keeping things going that you don’t see the light.  You imagine if you just change them or change yourself then it will go back to the way it was in the idealized honeymoon stage.  But it never goes back and even if it does go back temporarily the drama cycle always inevitably repeats itself.  If you don’t understand a toxic relationship then you can simplify it by knowing this.  If you find yourself acting unstable, stalking your partner, spying on your partner, texting your partner nonstop, or playing detective (or even writing into Internet sites to a certain degree) you are in a toxic relationship. 

If you are texting too much you might be getting discarded or sticking around to be emotionally abused but you somehow want to cling on to the abuser rather than let them go off and find someone else to leach on to.  If your boyfriend or girlfriend is feeling like a leach that is sucking your emotional happiness out of your soul, go no contact!  Don’t try to fix them. 

Try to fix yourself for putting up with a total user.  Stop pitying yourself and chewing off the ear of every friend who will listen.  This person is a loser, or shall I say a lost cause for you, because he brings out your worst behavior.  Do not put yourself around someone who brings out your crazy.  Keep yourself at a safe distance.  Sure you might be worried that he will wander off and find another target but that might be a blessing for you.  

Emotional freedom is more valuable than a hot girlfriend or boyfriend that treats you abusively and brings out the crazy in you.  You want to be with someone that brings out the best in you not the worst.  If you are still bonded in a toxic relationship then try to step back and separate so that you can regain your own perspective.  This will undoubtedly help you stop texting someone who is not responding.


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