If you send your boyfriend texts like imissu, iloveu, howsyourday xoxo, etc, it will annoy him to no end and you can rest assured you are texting him too much. You think these texts are cute but he’ll likely view them as a total turn off and an annoyance when he is busy
Sometimes a text message to your boyfriend is a good thing, but most of the times it is not beneficial. When it is good, you’ll know it. If you have a boyfriend with whom you are tight you might exchange a few flirty messages here and there when the both of you are at work for example.
As long as they are only a few a day, and he returns each text you send happily you are probably ok. That’s the rarity though. Most boyfriend and girlfriend relationships end up with the girlfriend texting the boyfriend too much. Girls like to talk via text more than boys. If you fall into the situation of texting him to much then then take heed because your texts will quickly annoy the hell out of him. Here are the ways he is going to react to the text and all are reasons to quit texting him.
He will think your texts are annoying
If you text your boyfriend a lot throughout the course of the day when his is busy with other things it will get you into a fight about it. He will be totally irritated seeing 5 messages waiting on his cell phone.
If he has your incoming number set at a beep tone or music clip, then your stupid texts are literally going to drive a guy crazy. It becomes noise pollution to him and he may even delete your incoming ringtone and set your text ringtone to silent (no sound) if his phone lets him, just to shut you up!
He will start to view your texts as wierdo fan mail
If you send him little heartsy texts like imissu, iloveu, howru, howzurday, etc, then you are texting him too much. Guys completely don’t care about gagacious cutesy sweet text messages! Their brains don’t operate like that and he will get completely turned off and not respond.
If you continue to send text messages about how you’re so into him it becomes like this discusting fan mail, or in this case, fan text mail, and he will get so completely turned off by the constant annoyance from you. You don’t want to be a stalker fan of your own boyfriend do you? Next time you have the urge to send him a text whereru, think twice and don’t!
You will obliterate the law of scarcity
If you are sending him 10 text mesages a day you seriously risk getting dumped by him. It’s just too clingy to be saying you miss him, asking about his day, and digging for gossip all the time. Count your texts because if you are sending like 10 a day its total overkill and won’t do your relationship with him a bit of good.
Do you know how the guy that you totally blew off and weren’t into just couldn’t leave you alone? He calls and calls and the more you reject him the more he tries? It’s about the law of scarcity. People want what they can’t have. If they think your life is complete without them and that any minute you could bump into a suiter that trumps them, then their interest level in you skyrockets.
Have you read the Harlequin romance novels where the women who finally gets rid of the bad boy noncommital lover and gets over it, which oddly enough finally gets him begging for her at her doorstep? Granted its a fantasy but the author of the novel is well away of the fact that a guy does like the forbidden and wants to pursue what isen’t 100% gaurenteed to be his.
If you are texting this boyfriend 10 times a day what you are doing is handing him over a free 100% guarentee that you are all his and there is no challenge left for him. Maybe you are already boyfriend and girlfriend but you still need to leave some pursuit in his mind.
Texting too much breaks the boy calls and pursues girl pattern
It’s not game playing it’s just following the traditional pattern of letting the man do the calling. If you take that away from him you could be damaging the underlying dynamic of your relationship with him without even realizing it. Boyfriends should never feel like their girlfriends are doormats just sitting there asking them what they are thinking all day long.
Yes its modern times yet still it helps you out to let your boyfriend do the initiating. If you text him too much you’ll be taking the ability to initiate contact out from under him. You’ll be placing him in a position of always having to respond instead to your text messages.
You don’t want to be the aggressive pursuer in the relatoinship trust me. Let him text you and call you. If you are texting him a constant stream of questions as to what he is up to and useless sweet nothing text messages you should quit it. Why would he need to initiate a conversation with you if you are already constantly conversing to him? Stop texting and let him think of something to say to you.
He will take you for granted
Whoever in the relationship has the lowest interest level in the other person tends to be in overall control of the relationship. It’s because they are less interested in the person and will be the one who could easily take or leave that person.
The person with the high interest level is the one at risk because they tend to be the one totally into it, pursuing, and infatuated with the person. The high interest level person will get hurt if the lower interest level person leaves them.
With all the texting you could be messing with the interest levels in your relationship with him. You always want him to remain more interested in you than you are in him. Even if you are crazy about they guy, it pays to operatate, behave and function as the one with the lower interest level. It’s not game playing its just preservation of a good balance and dynamic between the two of you.
If you constantly text your boyfriend you are going to be presenting yourself as having a radically higher interest level in him than he has in you. That puts him in control of the relationship. He may start to ignore your texts, respond sporadically, back off from the smothering texts, and begin to treat you are a doormat, a given.
Hopefully this article helps you understand that aggressively texting him too much can really change the dynamic of your relationship in a negative way. Back off on the texts and let him do the pursuing and initiating. Keep his interest level in you at a higher level than your interest level in him through your basic behavior.
It’s not game playing it’s human nature. If you make yourself too needy, pesty, and annoying he will undoubtedly start to take you for granted.