Texting can be a great way to have another dialogue with your loved one. But at the same time, it can be so easily over done and can even have a negative effect on your relationship if it is over used as a means of communication. Not only that, constant texting is rude. Don’t keep texting while you are in the company of others. When it comes to texting in a relationship you’ll want to follow some guidelines. Keep your texting habit under control so it does not backfire and wind up hurting your relationship rather than helping it.
Don’t text and drive
There are certain things you never want to do while texting. For one thing, don’t text message while driving. This includes reading or writing texts. Texting while behind the wheel is even more dangerous than talking on the cell phone while driving. In order to read, write, or send a text you have to avert your eyes completely away from the road. Not only is it dangerous, you can get an expensive ticket now for doing it. Remember the motto talk, text, ticket.
Don’t be rude to a date or friends and text in social situations
Don’t text while in social situations because it is rude. If you are texting while in the company of friends they will assume that you are pre-occupied and obnoxious for doing so. People will criticize your social skills and judge you for it more than you realize. People around you notice impolite behavior even though you may not because you are so busy texting. They will also question who you are texting that is more important than paying attention to them.
Don’t text message during a date especially. It is considered bad manners and incredibly rude. It is similar to taking an unnecessary phone call. It certainly doesn’t convey interest in your date. Try to turn your cell phone off or to vibrate mode during a date. If you are a parent and receive incoming messages or phone calls, you can excuse yourself to the restroom and check in to make sure everything is ok with your loved ones.
Don’t mass text
Don’t execute obnoxious group texting that can be construed as spam mail. For example, sending out a mass texting message asking what’s up to everyone on your friends list is considered totally obnoxious. It will backfire as people don’t want spam texts coming in and ultimately they will tell you they want to be removed from your sms mailing list. If you are not a club promoter don’t act like one by using mass text message as a social bugle call.
Don’t text after midnight
Don’t text late at night. Many people turn off their phones in the evening yet some don’t. Texting late night is rude. Late night texts from relationship partners are typically requests for intimate encounters on very short notice. If a man texts a woman late at night it is a sign of disrespect. Never text a woman in the late evening hours if you hope to have a real relationship with her. Women will often interpret late night texts as last minute requests for intimacy and they will be hurt and insulted by this. The beep, beep, beep ring tone is not funny when you are fast asleep in the night and have tasks to take care of the next day. Honestly, late night texting is just plain rude. Doing so implies that you don’t take the other persons life seriously. Follow proper text etiquette and never text late at night or in the early morning hours.
Avoid explicit texts and flirt lightly instead
Naughty text messages can be enjoyed at times between established couples however its best to leave explicit content to the imagination. Explicitly intimate texts and photos can seem fun initially however quickly devolve into being intrusive. They can cause a distraction to the person while they are at work or with family. If you are going to leave suggestive messages make sure your partner is ready and available to respond. Leaving things to up to the imagination if always the best policy. If your texts are something that you would not want friends or family members to view, then reconsider sending them. If your partner leaves his phone out and a younger family member or friend reads the texts you sent you might be mortified.
Don’t text messages you would be upset about if anyone were to read them. Sexually explicit remarks or private remarks that either you or your partner would not want to be read by others should not be left sitting in your message inbox. Make sure to clear old messages from your inbox, outbox and draft folder on a regular basis. Flirtatious messages could compromise you in a way you don’t anticipate. For example, what if you leave your phone in a meeting at work and the person who finds it looks through your messages to try and see who the phone belongs to. Do you want them coming across your private messages? Light flirting is acceptable but too many steamy romantic texts explicit in nature (also photographs) are going to make you appear needy and desperate.
Don’t reveal personal or embarrassing information on text message. Don’t leave rumors and expose other peoples privacy either. Remember to keep things on the up and up. If you would be mortified if someone inadvertently saw that text you are about to send, think twice and don’t press that send button. Text messages can sit in some ones inbox for months before getting deleted so make sure your texts are self censored and that they don’t compromise anyone’s integrity. You text history should not expose you a big mouthed gossip.
Less is more
Don’t over text someone. This behavior can show you to be needy, desperate and even psychotic. Don’t send long series of texts, don’t text the person every day, and don’t text the person more than a few text messages at a time. If you become addicted to text message and the flow of back and forth texts evolves into you pursuing by text and the other person avoiding you by not responding to texts, it means you are contacting them too much and that your texts are becoming intrusive to them. Nobody wants to pick up their phone and see more than ten messages from you. Send only one message at a time.
Don’t cover serious relationship topics on text
Especially with the popularity of internet dating, romantic partners are getting dumped by text message more and more frequently. One of the most common questions both men and women write in to this website is asking what to do after they have been dumped by text message. In reality, if you are dumped by text message there is nothing you can do. If someone is going to break up with you in this manner then you should shrug, say okay, and forget about them for a long time. The best response to being dumped by text is indifference. The reason is that it is rude behavior to dump someone or blow them off with a text message. It is disrespectful and hardly deserves a conversation. To nip text fighting in the bud, if someone dumps you by text you should accept the breakup and not engage them further. In other words, don’t stoop to their level.
Breaking up with someone via text message is a disrespectful. It is mean and reflects poorly on both people to do so. It really belittles anything relationship you had going no matter how insignificant that relationship may have been. It honestly makes both parties look really bad. Whenever possible, break up with someone in person or at least in a phone conversation.
If you want to break up and your ex continues to bother you not accepting the breakup as a finality, you can back it up on text message. If they continue to text you pleading over the breakup or if they send you angry messages just tell them via one simple, singular to the point text message that your feelings have not changed, you do not wish to be with them, and that they should move on. After that, you are free to ignore incoming text messages from them because you have clearly indicated to them that you are done.
Don’t get involved too quickly, and don’t discuss your relationship on text
Keep texts light weight in tone and nature, using text messages as a way to occasionally and sporadically surprise your partner. If you get dumped on text be sure to ask yourself if you did anything to contribute towards the text breakup. Sometimes, the relationship is so young (just a few dates) that the person does not feel an obligation to make a phone call. They don’t have much invested and so they just handle the blow off via text as a cowardly but convenient cop out. This happens with online dating quite often. You go out a few times, the person sees it is not going to work for them for whatever reason, so they blow you off via text as a matter of convenience, saying sorry its just not working out.
If you get blown off after only a few dates it can be considered rude of the person however it is very common since your relationship was at an early stage. Try not to take early breakups by text personally. The fact that people can opt out of a relationship suddenly is a very good reason not to get physically involved too early on in the dating game. You never know if things are really going to progress into a relationship or fizzle out.
If you are already in a relationship and you get unceremoniously dumped by text message, you can certainly criticize the integrity and character of the person dumping you. But at the same point, look at your own behavior. Often times the other party has tried to tell you in person or on the phone that this relationship just wasn’t going to take off. They might have told you in so many words and you just are not getting the message. Then, they reaffirm their decision to opt out on text message. If you get dumped on text message be sure to ask yourself if you were dumped already but just didn’t take the hint.
People often explain that they dumped someone on text because dumping them in person just didn’t work. Therefore if you dumped on text message you need to recognize that the text dump may be a back up to them dumping you prior and not them dumping you out of the blue. Maybe they did tell you but you refused to accept it. In future relationships you might want to keep texting to a mininum. If you were never texting that much in the first place, you may not have gotten dumped by a text message.
Usually people dumped by text message were already texting way to much in that relationship. If you don’t text your way through a relationship, then you are more likely to not see the relationship end on text. If your relationship happens on text it may very well end on text too. That is why it is best not to establish text message as a primary method of communication. It’s hard to hear this however if you get dumped on text it may be a little bit of your fault too.
If your partner is fizzling, let them
If you are dating someone and they stop getting in touch with you, it is a clear sign that they are not interested. Interpret a lack of communication as a clear sign of disinterest. If they don’t text you, don’t text them. Women often get blown off by a man they are dating and then they proceed to text them to ask what is going on. This is a request to get dumped by text because if the person disappeared now you’ve given them an opportunity to dump you on text. If a person wants to disappear and vanish out of your life then let them. Don’t chase after them on text since that serves to give them the opportunity to dump you on text message. If they don’t contact you it is message enough and you needn’t force them to clarify their obvious disinterest.
Don’t enable your partner to run a relationship on text
Texting is a great way to bond and create an emotional connection with a love interest. Just make sure that it isn’t the only means of communication you have going with this person. It can be a double edged sword and if you enable your relationship to happen on text to the point where text message becomes the sole venue for making all your plans and activities it will backfire.
Text can be utilized as a way to specifically avoid talking to someone. If texting becomes the habitual way that your lover uses to avoid talking to you in person or on the telephone, then beware. This can indicate that relationship itself is in serious danger of becoming sub-standard and even emotionally abusive. Don’t let yourself be relegated to a text message. You might have to write a person off that treats you in this manner. Lick your wounds, and keep your emotional being in tact by walking away. Remember that texting is a double edged sword and if two people come to rely on it too much then it is sure to wreck a relationship. A person who only communicates with you via text is not a person to be involved with. Don’t engage in a relationship where you are being treated disrespectfully.
It is always best to keep your overall texting to a minimum. The reason is that you don’t want to enable the other person into thinking they can have a relationship with you solely on text message. Don’t encourage or enable bad relationship habits. Refrain yourself from texting nonstop because it trains the other person that you accept text as a means of important communication. It may even wind up driving the other person away if you can’t stop texting them all the time.
OK one exception to the ‘don’t overtext rule’, when she was being fickle and not responding to my texts as often as i would like
I used to text her maybe once or twice a week and then wait for reply. A lot of times i was just left hanging and waiting for days.
But one time i started sending her a text every night around the same time. They were just random messages, lyrics, jokes, something about my day… None of them required a response.
And i started to not even care if she replied, i was going to keep sending new non-needy texts every night. So she was probably waiting, possibly looking forward to each evening, wondering if i was going to keep sending even if she didn’t reply. Anyway, she responded well to this and started to reply to them every night. Of course, after a couple a weeks of doing this i had to chill and go back to a more random texting pattern.
So this might be an idea sometimes but tough to tell the right timing to do this.