Texting tips for men

While texting can be a good adjunct way to communicate and flirt with women, if you are truly interested in a woman, don’t rely on text as a major means of communication. You’ll want to be confident, fearless, and to the point when first contacting her. Meandering off onto a text conversation at the outset is the number one way to send a potential relationship on to the wrong track. If you are a player and just looking for action then texting could vet out a woman who isn’t setting very high standards for herself and the way in which she wants to be communicated with. Players interested in an easy pickup will communicate casually on text and try to hook up for a casual or near free date at the corner dive bar. For a player, text is the main communication method. If you want to give that impression and find like-minded women then fine, but if she is a woman that you could be very interested in treat her right to begin with and give things a chance by placing phone calls. It will send out the right signals to her and make her feel that you are interested in her and not just game playing around and raunchy texting. Here are some traits to exhibit that will send her the right message that you could be Mr. Right.


While your looks, money, car, and pick-up lines might matter some, what matters most and what women are looking for is something that’s either there or not. That something is confidence. If you are attracted to a woman and get her phone number then be sure to exude confidence and call her. If you spend too much time demonstrating nervousness or immaturity messing around on text message it conveys that you are playing games with her. What is going to attract her more is if you are cool, confident and direct to the point with her.


If you are fearless when you ask for her number and then confident and direct when you use it, you are going to give the impression that you are calm, cool, and comfortable in your own skin. You have no problem taking a risk and going for it by asking for her number and then calling her up and asking for a date to get to know her better. Now sending a text or two just to confirm the number and ask when she is available to talk on the phone is fine, even a few texts OK. But when you meander off track and segway into text land where you are flirting on text without even calling her yet, you come across as juvenile and immature. A date planned on text message feels flaky, tentative, and shaky at best to a woman. Have a go for it, risk taking attitude instead and use the phone. She will love you for it. With a real phone call her confidence levels increase that you are trustworthy, genuinely interested, and reliable for the date. She is going to feel way more comfortable meeting you if there were phone calls prior as opposed to text.

To the point

Don’t start chatting on text about little side issues and useless details of her day or past dating life. Instead, cut through the bull and right to the chase. Be all about setting up a time to meet. One or two texts that are flirtatious are fine but getting into long winded text conversations do more harm then good. The texting seems fun at the time but it really sets a bad tone for your communications.

Flake Prevention

Sometimes you might text a women for a while and then find out that it leads to her balking and flaking on the actual date to meet with you. The reason is while she’s having fun texting something goes on in the back of her mind. She has more time to talk herself out of the date. If the texts get flirty or frisky she might feel uneasy about it after the fact. In other words, its easy for her to get carried away but then when it comes to the date reality she’ll be scared that she gave the wrong impression and that you’ll be expecting some action or something. Since the flirtatious texts just sort of slipped out she’ll rethink whether she wants to put herself into an uncomfortable pickle and actually meet you after having flirted with you on text.

So that you don’t get side tracked and give her opportunity to question her comfort level and if she really trusts you enough to meet you for the date, don’t side track onto text talk with her. Instead, keep it goal oriented, direct and to the point. Confidently move right from meeting her to touching base on text if you like to calling her up and talking to her to asking her out on a date. Keep that entire ask her out loop tight and closed so that she doesn’t loophole out of ever meeting you. The more confident you are in how you act, the more confident she will feel. Calling her and getting to know her a little bit over the phone also lets her know that you are genuinely interested in getting to know her beyond just her looks and that you are protective of her safety too. Once a date is planned make sure the location is very safe, secure and protected for her. Invite her to a well known location, not your house in the boondocks. Don’t make her drive too far since her having to make a huge effort may become a deterrent when it comes down to the actual meet. Always show concern for a woman’s safety and comfort level. Most women will also like to meet at a completely safe and public well known location at a reasonable hour rather than go into a car with or meeting up late at night. Save the car ride for the second date or when she feels like she can trust you. That goes unsaid.

Information Relay

Informational texts are OK as they can confirm information and help your date feel more comfortable. For example, lets say that you arrange a date and confirm it with her by phone the day before or that morning. When you arrive at the location, or even a few hours before you leave, it never hurts to send a text, for example, Got here, or Running 10 minutes late be there shortly, or See you tonight. These are informational and if you have already called her and set up the date they don’t hurt anything. Basically, it just helps make her feel comfortable that you are following through. Keep the texting down to a minimum. If you are passing some basic information and you have already spoken on the phone earlier then those sort of helpful logistical texts are fine.

Follow up

Solid follow up after a date is also key in exuding the right confidence level to a woman. It’s fine to follow up a date with a text a day or two later. At least it lets her know that you liked her. You don’t want to come off as too smitten though. So, keep the text count down and don’t allow yourself to get sucked into chat with her. You aren’t her girlfriend. Send her something like I had fun I’ll give you a call. That will be perfect because she knows you must have liked her and now she’ll be left waiting by the phone for when you actually give her that call. If you’re really good you’ll let her roost a good few days after that then ask her out again. Confidence in getting her number, contacting her, making her feel comfortable at the first meet, and letting her know after you will ask her out again while not appearing overly gaga, are all going to work in your favor for creating attraction. Remember, stay busy and keep the text communications with her to an absolute minimum. She should be jumping for joy when she gets a text message from you. Your texts to her should not come too often, but rather just often enough to keep her hoping and anticipating that things will progress.


This entry was posted in Dating and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *