Texting why? Because you’re in an abusive relationship and just don’t know it

Are you texting your boyfriend, girlfriend or ex too much?  Are you wondering why someone you’re dating has managed to help turn you into a crazy obsessive text messaging wreck?  Do you vow not to text your ex boyfriend or girlfriend and then hate yourself when you fall off the wagon and text?

Some text addicts get started because someone that isen’t interested in them rejects them.  But others, become addicts over someone that is involved with them, only he or she treats them poorly.

If you are texting too much, there is one truth and that is that you may be texting someone that you shouldn’t be in a relationship with at all.  This sounds counter-intuitive but if you were normal yesterday, and a text addict today, it may be the person you are texting.  They may be pushing every single button in you that brings out the crazy, desperate, needy and psycho in your personality.

You may be texting, but he/she may be the lousy boyfriend or girlfriend at the root of it.  Get away from him/her, and your texting problem is solved.  The only rub is that its hard to stop texting someone once they have their hooks in you and you’re attached.  You keep texting them thinking you can either get them to understand your cause, convince them of something or get your point across.  In the end, you probably shouldn’t be texting them at all. 

Maybe you’re obsessed, maybe you’re bored, maybe you’re lonely.  Get over it.  Maybe you are in love.  Start looking at what they are doing to you.  The odds are, if you’re texting them like crazy and getting crumbs in return, you’re chasing after crumbs.  It’s a relationship you probably shouldn’t even be involved in anymore.  Look over these characteristics (outlined below) of people who will no doubt drive you crazy.  Is your boyfriend/girlfriend exhibiting any of these behaviors?  If they are, they are abusive.  And your texts may be a desperate attempt to stop the abuse.  Yes that means your texts might be a reaction to abuse, or a person that just isen’t interested in you altogether.  Maybe, you should just leave them alone instead and go communicate with someone that actually likes you enough to communicate back.


A boyfriend or girlfriend who is callous will constantly push your emotional reaction buttons to text.  Do they get close to you and then suddenly turn their back on you and act cold to you?  Maybe they break plans, or keep you waiting without caring that it gets you upset.  A callous person will ignore your wants and needs no matter how many times you explain them.  Have you ever sent him a dozen texts that could be summarized as you’re mean, or you hurt my feelings?  Then, he might be callous.  Instead of texting about how he is callous, consider leaving him because he doesn’t care about your feelings.

Antisocial behavior

Does he blow hot and cold on you?  Does he come on real strong then go completely missing, and lie or fib his way about the situation.  Are you going into ring around the roses circles texting him over how you don’t believe him about where he was or what he was up to?  Honestly, he’s the one with the antisocial behavior if he’s a liar, which is unfortunately turning you into a nag and a text stalker.  If you don’t trust your own boyfriend, should he even be someone you are talking to at all?

Superficial charm

So he did the bait and hook.  Went through the love bomb stage where you were the end all be all, and he turned on all of his charm.  At first you were texting back and forth and back and forth.  But after he got his hooks in you and got what he wanted, his texts started to diminish and he started to become too busy to bother to text back.  This yanking of the carpet can cause a girl to text like crazy.  She’s trying to text the carpet back under her feet when its already been pulled away.

If he love bombed you initially and now you’re spending all your time trying to text your way back into the closeness you had at the beginning, give up. The relationship cannot withstand so much texting so you need to be able to back off and not expect the same level of texts that there were in the honeymoon phase.  Who he is now is who he is now.  Who he was when he was on his best behavior means nothing.  Women will stay involved with men long after they should just because of how he acted at first when he was at his most phony, aka best behavior.


If you’re trying to be involved with a narcissist you’re going to be texting him a lot.  And what is he doing, running his own separate life and taking care of his business.  A narcissist is incorrigible.  He is about himself and you won’t be atop his priority list so take a number.  It’s all about him, him, him.  He wants you there when he wants you, and when he’s busy it’s just pure out of site out of mind.  This hot and cold, pick up and drop it mentality is ripe pickings for creating text madness.


So he thinks his job and his career and his busy schedule is what matters in life and yours doesn’t?  So you text him to confirm plans and then instead of confirming them he tells you that he’ll get back to you but then never does?  The grandiose partner will always leave you hanging.  His needs and his priorities are what matter not you.  So if he’s grandiose expect things to revolve around him.  Trying to text him 50 messages about how you count too is a waste of time.


So he’s entitled?  He always knows what he’s doing on a Friday or Saturday night but you’re the last to know.  If you feel like you’re being fit into his schedule last minute, you probably are!  This is fuel for texting madness.  If he’s entitled to break plans, change plans, blow off plans, and keep you hanging until the last minute on plans, he’s acting entitled and also selfish.  This is sure to push all your buttons to make you text.

Poor impulse control

Does he make up excuses to get out of plans because something better came up?  Does he make plans with you then suddenly go to Vegas instead because he got a free trip or a better opportunity?  Poor impulse control means that he will divert his focus elsewhere at the first sign of a better opportunity.  He may even cheat or date other people to keep all of his options open and withhold this important information from you.  His dirty little secrets inevitably lead to your psycho texting.

Poor impulse control means he’ll blow where the best wind takes him.  It’s bound to make you text like crazy trying to hang on.  In reality, you should be letting him go find his greener pastures and then not be available to him when he comes back around.

Lack of empathy

This boyfriend (or girlfriend) will dump you at the drop of a hat, or cheat on you, or lie to you or betray you.  Aren’t most texts wars about betrayal after all?  And if he doesn’t have empathy he’ll be the one to hurt you and have you text like crazy because you’re writhing in pain.  You writhing in pain over him may even caue him glee before he gets fed up and blocks you that is!  Did he break plans with you or disappear only to appear on his Facebook in the arms of another woman out on a crazy fun party night?  This sort of behavior shows a lack of empathy.  It’s sure to make you text like crazy if you’re the obsessive type.  But what you may want to do is change your number or block him.

No remorse

A mean boyfriend has no remorse.  He’ll always be in a search for opportunities.  It may be that he’s just not that into you.  Or it may be that he over seduced you in the beginning and now he’s turning cold because you’re just a little bit too into his business.  His seduction worked a little too well on you.  It’s like he threw a match on a fire and then disappeared for a while.  When he came back, instead of a smolder there was a full blown fire.

Cheaters, liars, losers, and dishonest boyfriends (and girlfriends) are usually the ones who call you crazy.  Isen’t that something?  The sad thing is that they push all of your buttons by treating you abusively.  Then when you text them like crazy they shift all the blame back on you.  You become the crazy one.  And they are absolutely right because texting someone that is not texting you back is crazy!

If you’re texting him too much, the chances are that he’s treating you poorly.  Maybe in one of the above described manners.  Rather than texting him, you might want to go talk to a counselor and figure out why you’re chasing after that lousy boyfriend (girlfriend) at all.  If you’re texting him too much, he might not be all that interested in you or treating you all that well.  Somethings missing, and that’s why you’re texting. 

Women and men who are additively and compulsively texting someone need to ask themselves whether they are engaging and enmeshed in a toxic relationship, or worse yet a non-existent relationship.  Trust me, if they’re interested, they text back.  You fall into a normal pattern of ping-pong where both people text.  Once the text pattern is off kilter it universally means there is trouble in that relationship.  It’s not always just the texter, it’s the person they are texting too.  It takes two, and its dysfunctional.

If you have a boyfriend (or gf) whose personality is characterized by callousness, antisocial behavior, superficial charm, narcissism, grandiosity, a sense of entitlement, poor impulse control and a lack of empathy or remorse, beware. This is the type of person who will turn you text crazy.  They treat you poorly, then you act crazy by teting the same person that is busy hurting you.  Do you really want someone to have that much manipulative control over you?  If you want to beat a lousy boyfriend at his own game, just stop communicating with him.  That’s my advice.


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