Both men and women writing in to this site asking for the best comeback message to being dumped by text. If your girlfriend boyfriend dumped you by text and you need a comeback keep reading. While certain web sites let you in on some spiteful things to say if your partner dumped you on text, the best comeback is to be indifferent and not respond at all.
Don’t be sarcastic
Sarcasm really does not work well on text message, particularly if you just got dumped. Usually if you engage in a comeback it is merely because your feelings are hurt. If you react too quickly to being dumped on text your comeback is going to come across as mean, spiteful, bitter or pathetic.
You’ll be naturally tempted to say something sarcastic and to get back at thim, but don’t. Shush. The problem with responding sarcastically is that it will only serve to reaffirm this persons negative opinion of you. If you get nasty, they will feel all the more justified in having just dumped you. Don’t be trite either. Messages like “your loss” or other such ego savers, while they aren’t nasty, are nevertheless useless.
Essentially any type of retort to a breakup text is going to be ridiculous. The best reaction is to take the high road and not respond at all. Maybe your ex was willing to dump you on text message but show them that you aren’t willing to respond to it on text message. Don’t respond and then give yourself plenty of time to figure out and then process what happened leading up to this point. Then and only then would some sort of response to a text break up make sense.
Getting dumped on text feels lousy and it definitely hurts. If you enabled texting in your relationship and then you got yourself dumped on text as well, get used to it. Texting too much in relationships does not bode well therefore don’t be surprised if relationships conducted on text, end on text. If you do get dumped, you might be tempted to say anything from I hate your guts, to go jump in a lake, to please don’t please don’t to I never loved you anyways. Before you send a trite comeback, back up and stop. Think for a minute and you will see that all of these trite comebacks won’t really go over that well on a text message. Responding is going to sound like you are popping off over reacting, and not even thinking, which may be the exact reason they dumped you in the first place. Don’t lose your cool.
Don’t act entitled
If you ever want to make your ex fall for you again then you are going to have to understand that it can’t come from a place of entitlement. That is why you don’t want to respond with texts like, I deserve better. If you want him or her back after he or she dumps you on text you should wait a while until you have had a chance to process all that led up to this unceremonious form of dumping. Then you are going to have to invite love, not demand it from the person. You will also have to shift your mental state from blaming and criticism to a more vulnerable caring standpoint.
Since you are in a breakup mode, neither of you could possibly shift emotional state this quickly which is exactly why you need to wait and let things calm down. If you are feeling hurt and disconnected and resentful from getting dumped then the last thing you want to do is go on the attack and push them away even further to the point of no return. If you throw up walls then there will be no getting through. Never text back when upset.
Wait before you respond
Getting dumped on text message really stings so if this happens to you then you might be tempted to respond right away. It might be one nasty text you feel like sending or dozens of them. Whatever it is, it won’t go over very well with the person dumping you.
If you get dumped on text message there may have been reasons leading up to this ugly venue for dumping. Maybe you were engaged in a text war prior to them getting fed up and concluding that they should just dump you. Or maybe you did something to royally upset them. Or maybe your ex told so they wanted to discontinue the relationship in person and you won’t take the hint so they are now driving it home on a text message. Maybe they are just mean spirited.
Whatever the reason may be from they met someone else, to they don’t like you anymore, to objections about your personality and everything in between, you need to wait before you haul off a response to them. Give it some time. For one thing, the person may have done this dumping in a moment of anger. If you would not engage in a fight it is always possible that the person would have a chance to calm down. Therefore you need to not fight about it. People get mad first and then hurt later.
The dating coaches say to accept the break up
Most dating coaches seem to feel that if someone dumps you then you should accept the terms and not try to dispute, argue or try to negotiate out of the dumping with them. If you go with this belief then you may want to give yourself some time to think and then agree with the breakup. You could wait a week or more and send a single text stating that you were sorry to hear it, or something of that nature. If enough time has passed and your ex has calmed down it may open the door to them telling you more details as to what soured them.
Whatever it is, if you decide to accept the breakup I would not engage in a discussion. One closure text in response to theirs is all you need. It could be as simple as a two letter response which is, okay. End of conversation. Most people who have learned the hard way would recommend that you try not to respond at all. The reason is that you should give yourself time to think and give them time to cool down before deciding what to do, even if that decision winds up as sending them a simple okay message as a comeback to the text breakup. No matter what you decide, it should wait. Give the person an ample chance to change their mind.
Do nothing, because nothing is sometimes better than doing something
If you have pursued this web site, then you know that when it comes to text breakups, doing nothing is doing something. If you get dumped on text message I would just do nothing. I would not respond for quite some time until you have had plenty of rest and days if not weeks or months to think things through. The point is you want to process what happened that led to getting dumped by text. Such a dumping may not even warrant a response from you. You need time to make a decision about whether you even wish to correspond with the person any further or if you will just move on with no response.
Don’t escalate things
If you really care about someone and they dump you on text then take care. One of the things that helps is to do nothing because this obviously gives you adequate chance to think things through carefully. If you engage while upset, the breakup fight may even escalate way further.
The problem with escalating is that the more a break up fight escalates the more damage that happens in the process of that. Anyone can reverse a breakup if the two people go off and work on themselves and mutually decide they miss one another. If you rush a response and throw mud and dirt then some truly nasty data will surely get exchanged between the two of you and it could cause irreparable damage. If you escalate to low blows you will no doubt say things that you regret later. Fights that deteriorate to low blows establish a pattern of future fights that deteriorate to lower blows. Who wants to do that? Not you. Always opt to deescalate a fight if you can.
Don’t jump into Action
Never jump into immediate action after getting dumped by text. Immediate action might be to text back complaints or comments about their breakup on text. Don’t do it. You also might be inclined to start wiping this person off your social networks and friends lists. Don’t do that right away either.
Wiping someone off your social network over a fight is incredibly foolhardy because if there is any hope of working it out you’ll feel like a fool having to re-friend each other on for example, facebook. Wiping someone off your facebook friends list is a major statement so consider it long and hard before you take such severing of ties step. I wouldn’t take such an action because it sets a precedent that if you get into a fight you’ll be rushing around severing social ties and cutting up photos, deleting emails, blocking cell phone numbers with your carrier, and so on and so forth. What if you make up? You are going to feel a total tool for taking reactionary crazy measures over the breakup. Plus, it sets an established pattern of fighting dirty with your partner.
Even if it really is over
Often times breakups on texts are two people fighting and sometimes they make up. So don’t do anything rash. Keep the door open and your social ties open. Even if it really is over, take enough time to consider cutting social ties. For example, if you try to forget about the person and go into no contact for a long time but find yourself stalking their facebook because you remained friends, then you would consider de-friending them at that point. In other words, you would be taking a well thought out action for a valid reason to help you get over someone and stop thinking about them. I would only do so after giving both of you a chance to calm down and really see if this breakup will stick.
Fledgling relationships sometimes rreakup up by text
If you were early in the dating phase with someone and they let you know that it isn’t going to work out for them just let it go at that. These are the breakups where the person never really got upset with you they just went out with you a few times and for whatever reason found you to be incompatible. It obviously hurts the most if they found you to be physically incompatible since that meant you got physical and then they dumped you. Still, it is what it is. After you get intimate with someone new, you automatically know that there might be some expectations. Therefore it is often after the initial intimate encounter that someone will consider whether they want to continue and opt out if they don’t wish to continue. It is certainly bad timing to opt out after you were intimate the first time, but that is the way it often is.
Most young relationships fizzle and there really needs to be a strong connection to get past the honeymoon phase of dating and into something real. That relationship milestone is a big hurdle and if someone dumps you and is unable to pass that milestone you can’t do much about it. You have very little history with the person and it is up to them because they want what they want and they need to feel like being with you because they are attracted not out of some obligation.
Maybe after the honeymoon phase was over and reality of having you as a girlfriend or boyfriend hit made them, they came to a realization that they don’t like you enough to be ready for that with you. Usually there is nothing you can do to stop this early opting out, so just let it go.
As far as it happening on text it is not uncommon especially if two people don’t know one another all that well and have little invested in each other. Your ex may have decided to dump you on text merely as a convenience to avoid an awkward conversation.
Established on and off relationships with breakups and make ups
If you are in the later phases of a relationship and the person dumping you is an established boyfriend or girlfriend, the advice is the same which is to just give it a rest. Try not to do anything over zealous and say things you’d regret. Breakups on text between couples are often temporary because of a fight or disagreement. Make sure to give it time and not to do anything prematurely. You may have a possibility to make up with the person so remain calm. If you get excited then you’ll be setting the pattern for constantly breaking up and making up up on text message. It is enabling a whole lot of drama for no reason. Always avoid drama on text message. Act like an adult, remain calm, and take time to make decisions. Hopefully this will help your relationships go more smoothly, and help you to either repair or learn from your text dumping experience.