With online dating technology from internet dating with its emails and instant messaging built in to the dating web sites, to the next step where a phone number is exchanged between two interested people, to the next where lustful flirty text messages start being passed between the two daters, my are times a changing.
Intense sexual attraction is catered to by this instant technological means. The ability to text messages, photographs and even video instantly can obliterate your common sense. They invented a word for it, sexting. With texting about having sex but not having real conversations, be concerned. If your relationship stays on text and strictly on a fantasy level where real life and even real feelings are not discussed be concerned. If you have a combination of being someones lover and mostly arranging meetings on text then you aren’t in a real relationship. You may be lovers, but you aren’t friends. Friends, talk to each other on the telephone.
Signs of love
If you text eachother lusty messages but also spend quality time with the person other than sex, then there are signs of a friendship there and potential love. If you get lost in conversations other than just physical and long times pass as you talk, it is a positive sign. If you actually listen to each others feelings and make each other happy and are listening and interested in what is going on in one anothers life, it is a good sign. If you are interested in meeting a persons family members and friends and they reciprocate that and introduce you to people in their circle, then those are all signs of love.
Listen to your gut instinct
You might meet a man on the internet and he has model like photographs and sends you poetry and promises. You get swept away and give this person your phone number. A little voice in your head told you that he was too good to be true. But you wanted to believe you had stumbled on Mr. Right even though your instinct said danger. Boom after a few text messages you get an unwelcome surprise of recieving some nasty photographs of his member to your cell phone.
Gut instincts are very important and if you talk to men or women that got involved with abusive or psyco people they will also tell you that the red flags were there from the outset but they were brushed aside due to a desire to meet the perfect partner. You meet, you get swept off your feet, the sparks flying, the chemistry is amazing, and then later on you wonder what happened to the 60 bucks that was in your wallet when the night began.
You don’t want to be suspicious and fearful. Some of us are lucky in life and we never come across a person that lacks integrity and character. Some of us are not so lucky. One encounter with an opportunist or person with bad intentions can change your sunny outlook for ever. Always watch out for your gut instinct and ask yourself if this person treats you with respect and is healthy for you. One trick to identifying a person with sexual intentions but no real relationship intentions is if they try to minimize communication with you and text you more than phone you up.
Beware if things get too hot and heavy on Text Message
Texting is the number one way that casual relationships are run. Even though it has an intimate and flirty aspect to it, texting lusty messages only means something when that is happening in conjunction with an actual relationship happening. That means dates, plans, phone calls, and meeting people in the other persons life.
If a little voice inside you says beware because you are only hearing sexually based communications from this person then don’t ignore that. If you are intimate with someone and then they blow you off or don’t text you until weeks later, don’t ignore that. If things aren’t right you might notice the person blowing hot when they want to get frisky and then blowing cold and disappearing in between. This is going to make you feel an insecurity and discomfort. If you feel uncomfortable don’t ignore it.
If you have an intense chemisty and yearning for someone but you know deep down it might be destructive then don’t ignore it. If you are concerned that this person is taking advantage of you but scared that if you address the issue it will push them away, then its a cause for concern.
Here are some quick give aways about the text messaging pattern you have with this person that give you the alrming warning signs that this is lust and love is no where in sight: most communications are happening on text, most communications involve sex and fantasy, few to no dates, never being introduced to friends, not knowing where the person lives, not talking on the telephone, not talking about real life.
If your gut is telling you that you are in a text then sex bubble with this person and the bubble does not expand after months of knowing them, then suffice it to say, its not a relationship. It will never be a relationship. Real relationships do not happen on text message.