Are you fighting the urge to obsessively text the man you are dating? Women may believe they want the loyal man who does whatever they ask in a heartbeat. A man that never has interest in or seeks options with other women. But in fact women become text obsessed with the men who do the exact opposite of this. It’s that insecurity that comes with a man who is “alpha” and not theirs, that causes a women to become so into them that they over text like crazy.
If you are text messaging him too much it can be indicative of you being insecure in the relationship and/or him being an alpha male who won’t commit to the relationship you want. Your insecurity combined with his noncommittal stance is the recipe for text insanity.
Loyalty is not necessarily hot
Women find loyalty to be a positive trait in a man and they look for this trait when seeking out husband material. Unfortunately, even though women view loyalty as a positive trait, they do not always find it an attractive one.
Women think a man is loyal if he never wanders and remains sexually faithful. They also think a man is loyal if he has a good job or degree and sticks with his career. This loyalty to one woman, family and his career is a positive trait that indicates he is “marriage material”. But, it is not necessarily an instinctively “attractive” trait. Loyalty is something that women value, but it doesn’t always create intense attraction.
Alpha males
The most loyal man of all is the one that has no options with other women. He is totally devoted with zero wandering instinct. This is the far end of the spectrum and women will generally start to take this type of man with (no alpha characteristics) for granted and get bored.
At the other end of the spectrum is the alpha male. He always has apparent options and he can exercise them at any time. He is the man that is highly valued because the woman is constantly trying to squeeze that little shred of loyalty in him for more loyalty towards her. Alpha men are highly valued because of this. He is just out of her reach so she’s bending over backwards trying to squeeze more out of the relationship.
So do you think a woman is going to psycho text a male that is at the loyal end of the spectrum? No. Do you think she is going to psycho text a male that is at the alpha end of the spectrum? Yes. That’s why women marry loyal men but become obsessed and crazy over the so called bad boys – the alpha males. The man who is just out of your reach is the man you will want to text, text and text.
Your man is alpha
If you are dating an alpha male that is at the alpha pole of the spectrum, you really can’t pin him down. He will never allow you to control him. He is going to make sure that he doesn’t need you and that he is fine without you. He makes sure you know that if at any point you royally mess up, that you’ll be replaced.
All of these features make a woman want to try and get this man for herself. These features also make her feel jealous of his other prospects which in and of itself is crazy making. And when she can’t because he won’t, she has the potential to become obsessed over him. Ladies if you find yourself obsessively and compulsively texting your man you may be dealing with an alpha male. Men if you’re showing a woman that she’s just a comparative advantage in your life but not a necessity she will stick around and be loyal but she has the potential to be driven over the edge by your alpha traits.
What to do if you are text messaging an alpha male
The second you start to get insecure with that alpha male is the second you’ll start to have a constant urge to text him. The important thing to realize is that you are texting out of insecurity. Furthermore, the insecurity is probably not imagined. It’s real. This man is not going to be impressed with your excessive texts. He is going to view it as needy, desperate, undesirable, and basically train wreck like behavior.
If you google a phrase such as “how to get a player to commit” you’re in trouble ladies. You’ll read information that you have to come across as desirable, sexy and having your act together. True. You’ll read tips to ignore him and let him come to you. True. Truth aside, my advice is different all together. Don’t worry about independent worry about getting away as far and as fast as you can. I say that if you’re dealing with an alpha male it is almost always a no-win situation. Move on as quickly as possible so as to avoid getting hurt by him.
He won’t commit
Trying to get an alpha male to commit is a waste of your time. I’ve seen women literally give up the opportunity to have children spending their fertile thirties chasing after an alpha male who doesn’t end up with them in the end. When the dating advice experts say date other people you should listen. That means seriously dating, not dating for the purpose of trying to make him jealous. If you’re compulsively texting a man it is a sign that you are insecure about your relationship with him.
If he is an alpha male with plenty of options who says he is not looking for a serious relationship believe him. Texting won’t fix a man who doesn’t want a relationship with you. If you view your needy texting as a relationship red flag and opt out, you’ll be doing yourself a favor. Don’t waste precious time on such a man especially if you are looking to have children within a reasonable time frame. Don’t waste years trying to strong arm a commitment out of a man who is going to drive you crazy and ultimately commit to someone else after fighting tooth and nail avoiding committing to you.
Texting and texting to try and get closer and convince an alpha make to become more interested in you is a no-win situation. The texts won’t work to gain his interest, and nothing else will work either. Men who are loyal to their buddies and personal life but only gives crumbs of loyalty to you are the ones you’ll have the urge to text message the most. You don’t have to remind him you’re there trust me he knows. Don’t fall into the trap because all the texts in the world won’t work to make this type of man loyal to you.
If you find yourself texting it may be coming out of an insecurity and you should trust your instincts. If you are hooked up with an alpha male or bad boy your texts may not have the intended effect of bringing him closer. In fact, texting is more likely to backfire. It may drive him away, enable him to take you for granted, or create a situation where you get used when convenient while he does whatever he wants. You’d have a better chance of getting his loyalty by never texting him at all.
|
