Trust is a key element in having a solid relationship with your boyfriend. Without trust, you may become suspicious and insecure. This can lead to obsessive text messages where you constantly want to know where your boyfriend is, and what he is up to. Obsessive text messaging is often caused by lack of trust. You still want to be with him but you don’t trust him so you become obsessive as to his whereabouts and text.
If your boyfriend becomes less responsive and less attentive you will have an uneasy feeling. Trust slips away and it makes it harder for you to regain trust. If he does not make an effort to prove to you that he is in fact trustworthy, your relation with him will suffer. Here are a few useful tips about trust and relationships. It should help you get a better perspective. The key is to keep your emotions under control no matter what he is doing. That way, you won’t damage the relationship by being insecure and obsessively text stalking him.
Acknowledge that you don’t trust him
Most untrustworthy boyfriends hope that you will simply trust them, even if they haven’t done anything to earn your trust. It is a matter of convenience for them. If you trust them, then they can do whatever and not worry about having to answer to you.
If your boyfriend has cheated on you or betrayed your trust, don’t just brush it under the rug for the sake of the relationship and keeping the peace. It will definitely fester. Your own instinct is important and don’t let him convince you that you are crazy for not trusting him. There are reasons. Perhaps a revelation about something that casts doubt on him, an argument, his turning his back on you when you needed him, or just a general slipping away and distancing in the relationship. If you don’t trust him, there is a reason.
Stay calm and don’t become text crazy
Staying calm and on an even keel is key. Don’t let his actions get you worked up because then it’s going to be all about how you act crazy and not about him and his lies. Remain calm and carefully assess the situation. Make sure you aren’t dragging old baggage into the relationship and blaming him.
Did you have an ex-boyfriend who cheated? Clarify whether it is him, or some baggage of yours that is fueling the suspicions. Stay calm, and get clarity on the situation before you do anything. Your objective should be to remain calm and not become a text stalker. Hurling a long text rant at him over all the things he has done wrong will not help things.
Let him know that you don’t trust him
When the timing is right, and preferably not on text message, let him know how you feel. Keep it short and to the point. Let him know that you don’t trust him and let him know why. Honest, straight forward information is what you want to get to him, If you are calm and speak clearly and thoughtfully he won’t be able to flip the blame back onto you. In fact, he will respect you more for being able to let him know how you think and why you think that way.
If you want to stay with him, give him the benefit of the doubt
Now that you’ve let him know you have an issue, don’t keep harping on it. The last thing you want to do is to continually dredge up the laundry list of his past misdeeds. It won’t help the relation. One distilled version of what you think is all you need. Don’t keep haranguing him.
You’ve laid your cards on the table now try to go the extra mile to trust him. Don’t insult him, trash him, send him crazy accusations, or be condescending. Try to keep the negativity away. Give him the benefit of the doubt and hope that he will watch his step and be more trustworthy going forward. Be trustworthy yourself. If you can be trusted, it helps him see that he should be trustworthy as well.
Don’t do mean things to get back it him. This requires letting go of any residual anger you have. This means that you need to give him plenty of time to proove himself and assume that he will. If you start to play low level games and become a liar yourself, it won’t help things. Don’t cheat or date other people behind his back just because he did and you are upset over it.
Try to deepn the bond you have with him
If you are able to let him know that you have trust issues, and stay emotionally stable, you will be the type of women that men are attracted to. Men can judge you on how you act when they are NOT doing what you want them to. Men want to know that if they fail to give you what you want that you won’t flip out and go crazy. Don’t be a fatal attraction bunny boiler. Don’t send him wild accusations and stories on text message either.
Once you’ve let him know what your issue is and that you are not some pushover that can be easily player, get back to creating a lasting bond with him. Don’t make it all about issues, talks and problems. Hit the reset button and try to get back to doing fun activities and dating. Don’t drown into your dysfunctional behaviors.
Lighten up and get back to being the woman that attracted him in the first place. If you can get past an issue with him and get back to being a playmate, he will be encouraged to do the same. Remember to be the type of woman that can hit the reset button on problems and issues. You have to be able to put that aside and still enjoy him, otherwise, he might leave. A man does not want to be in a relation with a woman who bring down the house at the sign of any problem.
If you can work through a problem and give him the benefit of the doubt he might stay and work on the relationship with you. If all you do is harass him, he will be inclined to give up because he will feel like he can’t please you. If you don’t trust him, acknowledge your instincts. Let him know about it. Remain calm. Give him the benefit of the doubt and work on making your relationship stronger if you want to stay together.
Try to work it out with him so that you have no regrets if things fail
If you love your boyfriend then you should try to control your emotions and how you react to him. You don’t want things to get heated and ultimately lose someone you care about. Don’t ditch him over pride. If you love him then give it your best shot to trust him again. Don’t let the negatives overtake your ability to have fun with him. No-one is perfect so don’t chopping block your boyfriend at the first sign of a problem.
If things don’t work out and he continues to betray you in the future, then at least you have the satisfaction of knowing you tried. You have the satisfaction of knowing that you didn’t over-react or contribute to the demise of the relation by becoming hysterical.