Some relationships consists solely of intimacy. Unfortunately, men seem to understand this concept far better than women. In fact, some women who want real relationships can’t seem to avoid casual relationships. In many cases, her downfall is that she is dating out of her league, settling for less, has poorly established boundaries, or just plain naïve when it comes to seeing the signs of stagnation. With the advent of casual dating and particularly internet dating, it can be hard to see that your relationship is all about intimacy and nothing else. These types of relationship can sneak up on you and before you know what is going on, you’ve fallen hard for a bad deal. Here are a few indicators that your relationship is all about being physical and not about being together for real.
If your communication consists largely of texts, and those texts are always geared toward flirtation, consider that a bad sign. Men that like you will talk to you about all things under the sun, not just intimacy and suggestive flirtation. If a man never asks and knows little about your actual life, it is a bad sign. If you have been seeing him a year and he has not met your family, does not know the names and ages or your children, or has never met your pet, it’s not good at all. Don’t let yourself be relationship managed by text message. Insist on phone calls and if he won’t call you, don’t date him anymore.
In the early stages of dating if he is too interested in the physical and not interested in getting to know you, and you allow it, you are setting the tone for a physical relationship. If he tries to escalate into intimacy too early on in the relationship then it’s a bad sign of things to come. A man who genuinely likes you will instinctively want to preserve your integrity since he wants you to be that girlfriend material. He won’t get frisky on the first date. If he likes you he will be interested in creating a memorable courtship. If he is advancing on you too quickly then there is only one thing on his mind.
If you try to talk about things going on in your life and he mentally checks out then perhaps he does not care about your life. It is true that people like to take their mind of life’s problems when dating nonetheless if you have been dating a while he should know you pretty well. He should know about your life. At the least you should have been to each others houses, met a few of each others friends, and have an established pattern of doing some fun things together which involve seeing the light of day.
After you’ve been dating you will reach a point where you might discuss your status with him. Men hate having a relationship status placed on them, particularly when they don’t want a relationship. If he shirks discussion about continuity and exclusivity, it is a very bad sign. A man who genuinely likes you will want you all to himself. He won’t be able to help it and its going to be him progressing the relationship, not you. Women tend to nag men about relationship status way too soon which drives them away. If you have been dating for months and you are considering becoming intimate, it’s appropriate to wonder where things are at. If he shirks any and all talk of relationship progression, he does not want it to progress at all.
Forcing you to text communicate more than phone call communicate is a sign of him stalling progression. Men use texting as a way to keep a relationship on ice. In order for it to progress, you have to communicate by talking not just texting and if he won’t, don’t ignore what that means. If he doesn’t want to know about you and keeps all of his own issues private, then he is emotionally unavailable. Men do keep their issues quiet and to themselves but rest assured that a man who likes you will allow you to become privy to at least some of his information. He won’t lie and hide all his personal information. If he is acting like a closed book and won’t let you in, he doesn’t want you in.
When your relationship is geared primarily around arranging physical encounters and having physical encounters, it is a sign that he wants no part of your life. Furthermore, if your dates focus purely on intimacy it demonstrates that you have let a relationship continue with someone who knows next to nothing about your real day to day life much less your loved ones. If he insists on being non-exclusive then it should be obvious he is interested in being with other women as well. Ask yourself if you really want to share your man. If you allow yourself to date an irresponsible playmate then rest assured that an irresponsible playmate will be exactly what you will get.
If your dates are arranged on the spur of the moment or late at night, you might just be a backup plan for him. Men that like you make plans ahead of time. If your dates always culminate in physical intimacy it is a sign that you may be in a relationship where you are merely being used. If you get intimate on your date and he departs quickly thereafter, consider that a red flag. Men that like you will hang around and do nothing with you. They don’t bolt.
If a man flat out tells you that he is not looking for a relationship and just wants to date, have fun, and take things one day at a time, it is not a good sign. If a man says he doesn’t want a relationship right now, it’s a sure sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Trust me when I say that if he met the right woman he would be ready for a relationship. Don’t buy into his excuses and stall tactics hoping that something will work out. You’d have a better chance of progressing such a relationship by leaving it completely than letting it continue on a purely physical level. If he says he does not want a relationship, back off completely and let him see what it feels like to not have a relationship with you.
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