Three reasons you lost her and now have to try to get her back

Did you watch your relationship with her go cold?  Did she shut down on you and go cold to where you were pulling your hair out about it?  If you are trying to get a girl back, then you must have majorly dropped the ball with her in the first place.  In order to get her back you’ll need to understand what caused you to lose her to begin with.  Here are three common reasons that men lose women. 

When it comes to getting her back and if you do get a second chance with her, you will want to avoid repeating these three common mistakes.  Treat her better on the second go-around and you’ll see way better results.

You were a doormat

If a girl starts to think you are too easy for her she might lose interest.  There are several behaviors that may have repulsed her away.  The first is if you chase her too much by constantly bothering her and smothering her.  The second is that you came across as nerdy or needy around her. 

A girl wants a confident guy.  If you bend over backwards and go too far out of your way for her she may start to feel it’s just too easy with you.  Weirdly, she can start to think she is out of your league.  If she starts to view you as a puppy-dog doormat then she can lose interest and her attitude towards you may cool off.  Seeing you as a beta guy that she can kick around and control will make her chemistry for you drop dramatically.

If she pulled away because you were pathetic you’ll need to work on your self confidence.  You can do this by dating other women, working on your attitude, and doing things like working out at the gym.  Try to up your own value and she may regret losing you.  A girl must have chemistry and attraction so always take the time to be an excellent lover because her love hormones will work in your favor.

When and if you get a second chance, you better be way more confident.  Don’t try with her again until you are more confident.  You need to inherently know that you don’t need her to survice in order for her to regain her respect for you.  Plan some fun activities so that you aren’t always talking about your problems but are getting back to having good times instead.  Learn how to please her and rock her world as the oxytocin involved in physical connection will strengthen the bond you have and lock her in with you more tightly.

You hurt her

Alpha dominant males can be pretty ruthless to women yet girls still flock to the bad boys.  What this means that a woman can take a pretty good emotional beating and still be addicted to a guy anyways.  So you can make alot of mistakes with a woman if she really, really likes you. 

But there may be a point of no return.  When it gets to the point where you have messed her around one too many times, a girl may leave no matter how in love with you she is.  For example, if you flake, disappear, cheat, lie or steal she is likely to get to a point where she needs to chop you out of her life without anesthesia.  She might go no contact on you to try to get over it.  Most girls go no contact because they have been hurt or insulted (either that or they are playing games with you because they are upset).

If you shook off you nice guy mantra and ended up going to far and taking her for granted, you may have lost her because of it.  Teasing can really hurt a girl as well.  For example if you teased her clothes or appearance she might act like she shrugged it off but it may plant the seeds of resentment in her. 

If you hurt her, insult her, or tease her too much she may snap and decide she wants to get her hand out of the fire for fear of getting burned.  This is where she’ll get scarce and try to ice you out of her life.  If you get another chance with her then you need to make her feel good.  She is going to be leary of any sort of callous treatmet.  The smallest infraction such as forgetting to call or show up when you were supposed to is going to set off a fight.

If you lost her because you slapped her in the face with insults or acted in a way that made her feel insecure or unwanted it will be tricky to get her back.  Once you get your second chance with her you are going to have to treat her like a priority not an option.  Treat her well because she will be watching for any messed up thing you do.  Walk on eggshells and make sure that you treat her better the next go-around.

She started to feel that you didn’t want her

Being ignored can be like cat-nip to girls but only at first.  Why is he ignoring me, why doesn’t he like me, what did I do, why aren’t I good enough for him she thinks.  At first, when you ignore a girl it makes her that much more interested in you!  But that attraction and desire for the unobtainable only lasts for so long.

After the honeymoon period is over and she’s done all the work to establish a relationship with you, her attitude about you ignoring her is going to change drastically.  In fact, if you have already become lovers and then you start to ignore her it is going to completely mess with her head.  At first she will try to please you even more but eventually she will start to feel insecure and resentful about the relationship.  She’ll start to withhold affection because she feels like you aren’t cherishing her.

If she continually feels like you don’t want her after you’ve slept with her, then she will eventually go cold on you.  She will feel unwanted and unappreciated and become bitchy about it.  She will start to say why don’t you ever do this or that.  She will get critical.  She will get to the point of feeling insecure, jealous, uwanted or unappreciated.  This things will lead her to going cold because she will want a guy that caters to her needs a little more.

When you get your second chance with her try to be attentitive to her needs.  Calling her up after intimate encounters to assure her that your feelings for her are enduring can help tremendously.  Another thing that can help her feel appreciated is if you periodically do favors for her.  It might mean doing some errands you have no interest in, or shopping when you don’t want to. 

Every once in a while do something nice for her so that she feels appreciated.  It could be as simple as calling her up out of the blue.  Don’t flirt with other women or toy with her.  If you behave consistently and she knows that you want her and are making an effort it should go better the second time around. 

Make her feel wanted

When it comes to getting a girl back you should make sure she knows you are alpha and can survive just fine without her. DO this by focusing on your life and even dating other women. Show her you leading an independent life.

After a cooling off period, when you do get a time to talk to her you need to let her know that you are sorry for whatever broke you up. Let her know that you care. Acknowledge whatever issues she had and let her speak her mind. Let her know that you won’t insult her or make her feel bad again. Apologize.

No matter how much she likes you, a girl needs to feel wanted and loved in order to stay with you.  A girl needs her self esteem and when that gets eroded the relationship will suffer. When you get your second chance be sure to tread lightly and treat her well. She will be suspicious and still have you in the dog house for quite some time. Be good to her, treat her well and be consistent about it so she can get her confidence back with you. You’ll be back in her heart in no time.


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