If you feel driven to get your ex back, it’s time to get a plan. First of all you need to be sure you aren’t acting like a co-dependent in wanting him back. If he has treated you poorly and you insist on engaging with him your plan will fail. So the first thing you need to do is step back and give the relationship plenty of space.
Wait before texting to get your ex back
Waiting is helpful before texting because it creates the impression that you aren’t desperate and it demonstrates self control which you may feel you have very little of. If you chase him too soon you are going to appear needy and he (or she) is going to have a harder time in taking your text message well. By waiting you leave the impression that you aren’t needy or hysterical. So whatever you text, you are going to wait a while before you do it.
What to say when you send your ex that first text to get them back
Now that you’ve waited for a while and had a chance to think, clear you brain, and even create a little vacuum where he starts to think about you, it’s a matter of figuring out what to say. Most people begin with a simple Hey how are you? text message. That can be OK yet there is probably something better that you could text. Text something that is also all about him (or her). This can be a simple two sentence text such as
I’ve thought about what you said and want to apologize for X.
I’ve missed our romantic times and am wondering how you are
What this text does is first speak to what he may have been upset with you about in so far as your breakup. He needs to feel heard. Second, it lets him know you miss him and brings up romance, and third it asks how he is giving an opening for him to respond. Remember that people like to talk about themselves and feel like their concerns are heard. In that two sentence text you are apologizing, acknowledging how he felt, and are wanting to hear about his (or her) life. And, you alude to missing the romance. Winner!
Don’t keep saying it again and again or get angry if they fail to respond
For the best effect, don’t repetitively text or repeat the same things over and over. If your boyfriend (or girlfriend) didn’t text back it doesn’t mean he didn’t read what you had to say. Texting him all the time won’t help. You only need to say it once. You want to keep texts sporadic, short and brief. Don’t get mad if they ignore your texts as they may still be upset with you or uninterested in speaking with you. Do not hound your ex as it will only confirm in their mind why you were axed in the first place.
If your ex does not respond to your text it is very important not to get upset over it. If you find yourself saying something nice but then getting meaner because he didn’t respond this is a mistake. Just because you text him does not mean he is going to respond. After all, you did break up. If you are going to get bent out of shape if he doesn’t respond back to your text then you shouldn’t text him. Perhaps it is too soon and you need more time away from the relationship.
Try to get to the point where the outcome will not kill you either way. If you are going to freak out and get angry if he doesn’t text you back then you are too caught up in the relationship still. To create the right impression try to give it a little bit more time. When you do text your life should not depend on his response or ignoring you. Give him plenty of time and try again later on down the road.
Give your ex time to soften up as they may still have issue with you
He may soften up and eventually become friends with you and start to communicate with you once again. Make this pleasant without adding the strain of the breakup to it. In order to get your ex back you have to be on speaking terms so getting him communicating with you without any romantic pressures is a good first step. He may be afraid to get close because he knows things could get heated and just doesn’t want to deal with the tension.
If you want to get your ex back with text remember this stragegy. First, give it some time so that your head is clear as there is no use in texting if you are strung too tight and overly emotional. Combine an apology, and i miss you and the romance we shared, and asking them about their life, into a brief one or two sentence text message. Lastly, don’t get upset if he doesn’t respond. It may melt his heart over time but just not right away. Give it several more weeks and try again if you think he’s really worth it.
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