What matters most to men

Women believe that men want love most of all.  Relationship experts however, advise that to make him fall in love he needs to be respected even more than he needs to be loved.  If your man stops calling or texting you just when you thought things were going fine there might be something going in inside of his mind that you don’t recognize.

Love alone is not enough, men want a women to act respectful

If you just offer him love and support and caring he might even feel like you are clinging.  If you come after him in a smothering sort of way he will even back off and say that he needs space.  If this happens women usually try to analyze the situation from their point of view.  In other words, why is he backing off, why is he ignoring me, and what am I doing wrong.

Instead of looking at everything from your point of view you need to be able to completely displace yourself and try to see things from his point of view.  Relationship experts say you can make it alot further with a man by being able to see the relationship through his eyes.  One of the main reasons a man backs away is not because he feels you don’t love him.  He backs away because he feels that you don’t respect him.  He might know that you inherently have respect for him but if you don’t act respectful then he won’t feel like you respect him.  You have to both have respect for him, and act like you respect him.  Acting like you respect him is the most crucial element.

Act like you respect him and he won’t back off

Men want a huge level of respect.  It’s not enough to respect him in your head, you have to respect him in your actions.  Respect is love to men.  Without respect he won’t fall in love with you and he won’t bring you into his life or circle of friends.  Doing loving favors and being intimate is not alone going to make him into you.  If you are able however to make him feel respected then he will really feel your love. 

The most important thing you can do is to listen carefully to what your man wants.  For example if your man does not want to discuss a topic at a point in time, don’t press the topic at that point in time.  If your man asks to be left alone, leave him alone.  If your man asks you to do something he wants, consider doing what he wants.  It doesn’t mean you have to cow-tow to his every need.  It does however men that you need to really be in tune with what he says and wants and not just in tune with what you say and want.  That’s a problem many women have is that its all about them, them, them.

Communication Patterns

One way that women show disrespect is when they text and text their man even though he is busy or has specifically asked them to stop.  A woman might think its cute to push past some barrier and keep flirting or talking but a man won’t.  For example, if he says he is busy then assume that he is and leave him alone.  This little acts of respect seem so tiny but men notice if you respect them and listen to what they want.  They pick up on this and they don’t want a woman that bowls over them.  You might be in the mood to flirt but if he says he’s not, he wants that respected.

Don’t pressure a man about getting into a relationship with you or getting off the fence.  Don’t drag your man into long text exchanges if you know he really wants no part of it.  Don’t criticise him by saying you never do this or never do that.  Don’t attack him if he is not pursuing you with enough passion in your eyes.  To do all of these things treads over onto his turf and it’s masculine energy.  You’re trying to tell him what to feel, how to act and what to do all of which men hate.  They also hate being criticised.  Forcing your opinions on him when he is not available to listen is disrespectful.

Men are hyper sensitized to respect

Men are hyper perceptive about disrespect.  They know exactly when a girl they are dating is being disrespectful.  Let me say that at the first sign of disrespect you substantially lose you chance at ever meeting his friends and family.  Your man could burb, fart, drink, curse and whatever.  But when it comes to you, he’s going to be a hypocrite.  He wants lady like behavior.  He wants someone that he would never be embarrassed to bring around his friends.

If he doesn’t know that you can act demure at all times he just won’t trust you.  If you fly off the handle, get emotional, have tantrums once a month, or hurl accusations then these things will drive him away faster than anything.  If he doesn’t know whether you’ll get upset in public or make a scene he won’t want to ever go out with you.  Just loving him is not enough he also needs to know you are presentable and that you know how to act at all times.  He wants to be respected and he wants a woman that makes him look good and doesn’t cross him in front of others.

If you disrespect him you won’t be his girlfriend

Don’t disrespect your man on text message, in public or anywhere.  If you respect him and know how to act so as to bring him up and never embarrass him he won’t be afraid to have you around.  You’ll be in a better position to get the love, devotion and attention that you deserve if you know how to respect him.  If you attack his confidence or other insecurities he will sideline you as non-girlfriend material. 

You see this with divorces all of the time.  The woman gets fed up and loses respect for him making scenes and having big fights around others.  The second this happens the marriage is on its way out the window.  You’ll see men like this turn around and go for more demure women who listen to them and follow what they want.  Men often get remarried to women who are willing to fall in line with their program and who are more submissive than the women they divorced.  This happens because the man simple wants to get with somebody who respects him.  The woman who respects him is the woman who he might marry.

Remember, if you want to be his girlfriend and not his good time girl, learn how to act right.  Listen carefully to what he wants and don’t just railroad over what he asks for.  It’s not about you, you, you.  What he wants matters too and one of the biggest things he wants is you to respect him.  That means listening and acting accordingly. 

If you have problems with the way your man is treating you be sure to bring the topic up at the appropriate time and place.  Don’t bring up important issues unless he is ready, available and completely comfortable enough to listen to what you have to say.  Don’t embarrass your man in public and be diplomatic when you have issues with him.  If you take time to listen to what your man wants you can prevent and even repair problems with him.


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