Have you been dating a man that is only giving you crumbs of a relationship? Sometimes it takes a couple of months to realize all you are getting is crumbs. Sometimes it takes a couple of years to realize it. This article should help you confirm if you are in a relationship where you are getting mere crumbs from him. If you like him, you might be in denial that you’re in a crumb relationship and fail to move the heck on when you should.
What follows are some of the signs that you are only getting crumbs in a relationship with him. If your relationship with him meets most of these signs then you might be wondering what to do. What to do is to practice more self respect. Don’t take back or settle for crumbs if its way less than what you want. This is especially true for women in the marriage and child making stage of life. If you want a serious relationship and a family you shouldn’t waste precious time on a boyfriend that flat out tells you he can’t meet even the most basic of relationship expectations.
If he doesn’t do the basics for you then you’re wasting your time waiting around for him to become more interested in you. You’d have a better chance with him if you kicked him to the curb. You’d also have a better chance looking more aggressively for other men who can give you what you want and are in a better place to do so.
You are in a crumb relationship if he rarely texts back
If you are with a man that rarely calls you and doesn’t bother to text you back at least half the time, its crumbs. Don’t wait around in limbo land hoping that he’ll contact you more. He’s shown his interest level and if its crumbs, don’t bother to waste your time. You’re getting the raw end of the deal. Don’t delude yourself into thinking that you can text him and that makes a relationship, it doesn’t. A relationship involves two people not just one. If he’s not in a relationship with you there is no amount of texts that will help.
You are in a crumb relationship if his plans are last minute
If he can’t contact you every few days and make plans and weekend dates with you then you are in a crumb relationship. Don’t buy all of his excuses because trust me he will have a million of them. The excuses will range from he is too busy, to he wants his freedom, to he can’t give you what you want, to criticising you and blaming your behavior as the reason. At a certain point, the reasons he can’t come through don’t even matter as much as the fact that he just isen’t able to come through with making plans and being consistent. A man that is really interested is responsive, he makes plans, and he is consistent in his contact. Don’t settle for anything less or less is what you will get.
You are in a crumb relationship if you are convincing him to spend time with you
If you find yourself convincing him by text her other means that you two would be good together give up. You’ll quickly see that you are the one holding the crumb relationship together and if you stop contacting him the line will go dead for weeks on end. Don’t take a guy who literally won’t lift his finger to call you. Don’t hang your hat on a guy that isen’t genuinely interested in your life. Don’t wait around for a guy that is actively dating and pursuing other women right under your nose. Don’t let a player convince you that you have issues that make him not want to commit to you.
If you find yourself chasing after him and trying to convince him to make space in your life its a crumb situation. One of the biggest signs of relationship crumb-dom is when you start to date other people not because you want to but because you want to make him take notice. That’s game playing. If you’re seeing other men just to play games with him in the hopes he’ll like you more then you are only getting crumbs from him.
You are in a crumb relationship if he flat out tells you he is not interested in more
This is what most women miss. If he tells you that this is all he can give you then believe him. Take it at face value even though it will hurt. Women try to ignore obvious warning signs from him and they think they can somehow text or sleep their way into more with him. It won’t work. If he wasn’t interested in more at the outset its unlikely he will be interested in more later on down the road.
Your boyfriend knows what basic relationship expectations are. He knows those expectations are minimal. He should text you or call you every couple of days and try to see you say once a week. If he isen’t even doing that then I doubt it will be enough for you. You’ll end up wanting more, frustrated, full of resent, and complaining to him about what you want. None of this makes for a good relationship. If he wanted more he would be giving it to you in the first place. He knows what to do, he is a grown up. Don’t make excuses for him. No matter how much you want more if he isen’t giving it or interested in giving it then that will not change.
What to do when he only gives you crumbs of a relationship
What you should do if he only gives you crumbs is to move on. Quit wasting your time. You’d be better off investing your time in finding someone new. And you can’t fake it. You can’t fake date other people just to make him see how great you are, it won’t work. You have to seriously hit him out of the park and seriously date other people because he’s not coming through for you. Don’t delude yourself when you are only getting crumbs move the eff on. If he cares about you he’ll follow and start giving you what you want.
Crumb relationships are the absolute worst when you are in the years of trying to settle down. You can waste years of precious time hanging on to a crumb relationship. It’s good to date a variety of people and understand what they are about. If you find yourself getting crumbs you should only hang around for a couple of months. Anything beyond that is a time waster, especially in your years of being marriage minded.
The only way a woman should accept crumbs is if she has no interest in a genuine relationship either. If she is rebounding, divorcing, separated, or going through a change then maybe a crumb relationship is ok as a time filler and a fun experience. Maybe she is older and already has children so she’s really just looking for casual dating herself. If you really don’t want a relationship at all, then a crumb relationship is acceptable. Just be careful though because as a woman you are wired to care. If you think you can escape from a crumb relationship unscathed, you are likely to be sadly mistaken.
Lastly, don’t lower your expectations and self respect to be a crumb taker. You’ll get used. Basic expectations should include the minimals. He should be in touch every few days, call you, be capable of making weekend plans in advance, and show interest in your life. If he isen’t doing even this, then having anything to do with him is a waste of your time. Physical relations aren’t even worth your while because if he’s too busy for you there is likely to be others. Why would you put your health at risk hanging on to an eff out that only is offering you crumbs.
Hopefully this post will help you see if you are only getting crumbs of a relationship. If you are only getting crumbs you should know what you really need to do. Opt out. If you are in your twenties or thirties and looking for long term commitment then opt out fast so you don’t waste precious time going nowhere with him. Don’t try to convince a man to be what you want him to be or give you want you want him to give. You’re better off finding a new man who is ready and capable to offer you the basics of genuine relationship behavior. Women who get married don’t waste time on men who are never going to marry them.