A common texting dilemma is what to text a guy after a first date, or whether you should text him at all. Here are some tips to handle that decision of whether to make first contact after a date. We will go into two choices the first of which is to let well enough alone and assume that if he had fun you will be hearing from him again. You let him do the chasing. The second school of thought is to be more gutsy/confident and send him a thanks for the date. Depending on your personality you can decide which is your best option. You need to do what feels right to you.
School of thought #1: Leave him alone and let him contact you
A former Playboy Bunny and dating consultant Serria Tawan advises that you should text like a guy, which is to say that you should not text anything emotional. For example, you needn’t text him about how you enjoyed your date because you should have demonstrated that on the date itself. Also, if he knows already that you like him, then there is no need to text him unnecessary and useless messages like good morning, i had a great time, etc.
Sierria also says that you should avoid aggressively texting him too many times, nagging him about plans or information, and most importantly don’t fish for information on what he is up to when you don’t have plans. Men have a low tolerance for nagging and feeling as though you are spying on him.
School of thought #2: Abandon the 3day rule and text him
Cosmopolitan magazine claims that guys don’t mind if abandon the don’t call or 3day rule after a date. They cite a study that polled a thousand guys and 87% of those dudes said they love getting a text from a girl after a date.
Cosmo claims that if the date was casual such as drinks, a casual thanks the next day is welcomed and measured. Then they suggest that if the date was more involved and came down to him spending money to take you to dinner and something else, you can offer to treat him to something. So, something like next time we need to go here and it will be on me, or offer to cook something etc! That suggests that you had a great time and want to return his gesture.
Watch out for the guy that only uses text to communicate with you
No matter what school of thought you believe in, either letting him contact you first after a date or texting him with confidence to let him know you had a great time, one thing is certain. Don’t text him too much and don’t jump every time he texts you. If you always return his texts he will learn that he never needs to call you in order to make plans. Teens text and grownups talk. If all you get from a grown man are text messages, he may be sending you an even bigger message than the text which is that he is not interested in being with you long-term.
The best way to behave is to have your own life and your plans. Don’t be sitting around waiting for him to come through on a oh let’s get together and hangout maybe type of date. If he is interested in you he will make plans with you. And if he acts flaky, you will teach him that you have other things to do.
I prefer the school of thought to wait until he contacts you for the most part. However, if you are an outgoing girl with plenty of other things to do then your confidence is what matters. If that’s the case and you feel like texting, then do it. Just don’t over do it. You can always see the truth of his intentions by how often he contacts you and how he continues to treat you.
The best way to relay a message to him that you want to see him again is to just let him know when you are together. Let him know how awesome he is on the date so you don’t have to text that stuff. After all, he is not a mind reader and will always like his ego to be stroked.