Are you cuber peaking on your significant other. Social networking sites provide a unique opportunity to gain some more insight into the truth of your relationship and other women (or men) that your partner might be involved with. This can be helpful in seeing that there may be something sordid going on. But it is not helpful to the healing process. In fact, it can spur on crazy texting behavior.
When you find yourself texting just because he commented on someone’s photograph, you are in deep trouble in the relationship. Did you know he might even be doing this on purpose as a way to triangulate women, pit them against each other, make you insecure, or just plain torture you? If a man is a player such pitting of women against one another can create drama that is gleeful to watch as it serves to pump up his narcissistic ego to think that women are cat scratching over him.
Addicted to cyper-stalking
Many of us get addicted to the cyberstalking in the initial phases of the relationship. At first you are idealized by him and on cloud 9. Then, gradually you start to feel insecure in your position with him. You don’t want to hassle him at first, so you isolate yourself and pretend to play cool. But in reality, you are desperately waiting by the phone or computer to hear from him and you are checking all of his new friends and Internet postings. You visit his Face-book and Internet dating profile every day to spy.
If you are cyber stalking him it is time to start keeping a calendar and mark off every single day and the number of days you can tolerate without cyber-peeking. Because what you don’t realize is that cyber-stalking does not help you in any way shape or form. And it’s addictive. Not only that, the cyber stalking leads to psycho-texting when you just get so upset you can’t hold it in anymore.
He might deny logging into Face-book or deny being active on that dating site, or claim he is not a paying member. But as he claims he barely checks his Facebook you know that he just posted a flattering comment on some other women’s photograph just five minutes ago! This is just crazy making at its utmost. He probably knows he’s driving you crazy and if he’s a bit sadistic or mad he will get glee out of your discomfort.
Have you been blocked? Don’t worry that is a good thing!
If you are normal, loving and kind and now you are nasty, stalking, mirroring him, vengeful and accusatory, it’s time to get out of the toxic relationship you are in with him! If you cyber stalk him too much, he will start examining his security settings and figure out how to block access. He will get an ego boost from having to block some crazy women he is or was dating. If you stay silent however, his activity eats you up inside and you are engaging in the same game playing he is.
If you can’t bring yourself to de-friend him and ask your friends to defriend him so that you have zero opportunity to spy, be happy when he does it for you. Yes, it’s a slap in the face that he blocked you out and discarded you but going to contact and being unable to see and obsess over his friends and other dating ventures is actually good for you. So no matter who blocked who, consider yourself lucky as no contact is the best way to detox. Blocking the person out or getting blocked helps you stop with the cyber obsession.
It is sad to be that lacking of self control that your boyfriend had to block you, however blocking you is the best possible thing. It hampers your ability to obsess and gets you started on the albeit miserable road to recovery. If you boyfriend really did cheat or lie or play with other women and torture you emotionally, it is going to be a long road to recovery. So better to start now.
Know when to cut your losses, stop cyber stalking, and just break up instead
By the way, a boyfriend that is engaging in such destabilizing behavior is not the boyfriend for you. He’s made you do things that you haven’t done before, and made you behave in ways you shouldn’t have (like cyber-stalking). You’ve been lied to, manipulated, picked up and dropped and treated poorly and this helped you become the crazy girl he can now accuse you of being. The sooner you forgive your bad behavior and get away from this toxic relationship the better.
You’ll find that as soon as you get away from him emotionally, your nasty, stalking, mirroring, vengeful, lunatic behavior will subside. So, stop cyber stalking him, stop spying on him, stop snooping on him, and start getting self control and better boundaries. You may have lost some innocence by being emotionally whacked around, but you can get your empathy back. After an experience like this you can become more compassionate than ever and also more perceptive.
Unfortunately, t’s a loss of innocence but also a learning lesson. After an experience where you’ve done things you’re ashamed of and pursued someone long after you should have let go, you will be able to cut toxic people out of your life sooner. If nothing else, you will have a much keener understanding of human nature and you will realize that certain people will play and prey on others. Especially as you get older, you will find that almost every person has demons from a bad relationship in their past so you are not alone.