Why does he call her but only text me?

Are you imagining a real relationship with a man where he wants to call you every day because he can’t resist you, but instead you find yourself lucky if you get a text every few days if that even?

When a man won’t call you and will only text you it’s a display of resistance. It’s even a sign that he does not want to get serious with you at all. When you find yourself falling into a text twilight zone with a man you might start to think that all men are like that. Yet all around you relationships are happening and men are committed to their girlfriends. If you find yourself being the woman who gets texted then blown off for the one that gets his phone calls you are not alone. Many a woman get told by a man how he is not ready for a relationship and then they have to sit by and watch him make a relationship commitment to the next woman that comes along.

Being only as good as a text can really sting but the fact of the matter is that if a man doesn’t feel some gut level even irrational desire to be near you there is no amount of texting that can make him change his mind. He has to feel certain things with a particular woman to be moved to go out of his way. The sad thing is that the more you want to feel this magical something with a man and push for it to happen, the less likely it is that it will. If a committed man is what you want then texting can be working against your goal if you aren’t careful. Avoid texts that carry these tones described below because they are like man repellent.  That natural relationship progression is not likely to happen if you persist in doing these bad moves.

Selling yourself to him

If you try to lay out all the common logic as to why you would make a good couple with him and why he should stop seeing other woman and be with you then he is going to feel pushed into something. The natural reaction to feeling pushed is that he is going to push back. One thing a man knows is that he has to feel something for a woman organically and her being miss pushy isn’t going to convince him of anything.  Selling yourself to him with text messages is tantamount to trying to move boulders around in a field.  His feet will tun to lead weights.

Pitching yourself as having the right credentials to be together will get you nowhere. Trying to enhance the times you spend together, show him you care and create an atmosphere where he always wants to see you again would probably work better than convincing him with a million pleading text messages how you’d be great together.

Bartering affection

Bartering your affection is something your girlfriends (who usually have no boyfriends) advise you to do. It comes down to, if he won’t do this then you shouldn’t do that. One thing that women have to barter with is affection and intimacy. If you start withdrawing those things as a metered out punishment it will succeed in letting him know that he is not making you happy. But the punishment will most likely backfire because he’ll resent you for it. And resentment creates distance. A man usually wants to be with a woman whom he makes happy. If you’re withholding affection and sending him a message that he can’t make you happy then what good is that doing?

Bartering your affection will likely get him to resent you therefore just laying it on the line and telling him how you feel would likely work better than withholding your former affection to manipulate or punish him. Also give his conscience plenty of time to catch up with him as men often experience a lag time between having a fight and being able to address something rationally with you. This is especially true if you got all emotional on him.


Ultimatums don’t usually work unless you actually mean them and are truly ready to leave a relationship. Women tend to use ultimatums as a last resort. Do this or else I am gone. The problem is that its usually just a manipulation tactic. You’re basically trying to force him to do what you want. Not only would this make him dig his heels in, when you fail to stick to your ultimatum you’ll be setting yourself up to be walked all over the next go around. If you say do this or else, yet a week or two later you’re weeping at his feet like a puppy dog then he just learns that your ultimatums are merely an hysterical act that means nothing.

If you want to set yourself up for a yo-yo relationship, then send him a text message that you’re done if he doesn’t do this or that and then a week later be caving in and bothering him.  You’ll be almost guaranteed a relationship where you aren’t taking seriously. He’d be more likely to tune you out than listen after that. Rather than issuing an ultimatum you’re better off just telling him calmly how you feel when the timing is right and the take a break from him for a week or two to reassess where you are at. Heck even crying would work better then trying to stick it to him with a you better commit or else threat.  Gently ignoring him for a while until you figure out what to do is a viable option.

Making noise

Making lots of noise on text message is a big no-no. Constant texting will just create a useless deluge of information.  Would you want an iTunes perputually blaring in your ear because that is how annoying nonstop texting throughout the day is to some people.  Text less and use text less and less as a means of major communication. It sounds sad but honestly, the less you text him, the more likely you are to get those phone calls and attention that you so crave. Hopefully these tips will help you create a more solid bond with your man. If you want to be the girlfriend, and not the one before he got the girlfriend, it can pay off in spades to keep your behavior in check. If the relationship fails to end in wedded bliss, at least he won’t be able to blame it on your texting.


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