Why hasn’t the person you texted responded yet?


Have you ever sent a text message and then the person you sent it to blew off the text and just never even responded? Getting a non-response can be infuriating to say the least. Most of the time however, your texts are pushy, pathetic, fishing for information, fight pickers, or plain weird, and that is why the person didn’t respond to them. Sometimes the person you texted is trying to blow you off therefore any text you send however reasonable is going to get ignored. If you text and get no response you might consider that the person you are texting is annoyed and punishing you with the silent treatment. Lastly and most obvious, maybe the person is just busy at the time you texted them. Give a person the benefit of the doubt before getting prematurely upset since maybe they will get back to you later on. Not everyone is glued to their phone over a sustained period of time like you might be.

Before attacking the person that you texted for not responding, consider the nature of your texts and their mood towards you. Here are some reasons that your texts are getting ignored. In all cases, the simplest thing to do is to stop texting messages that are meaningless and text less overall. The less you text overall, the more likely you are to get friendly responses and fast turnaround response time from the person.

Texts that don’t need responses

Some texts don’t need a response, so the person you texted doesn’t bother to text back. Texts like I am getting Panda for Lunch, don’t need to be responded to. If you are sending texts that don’t require responses you might want to consider not pressing the send key on them. It becomes noise to the recipient and lessons the weight of the texts that you do send that actually mean something. The more texts that don’t need responses that you send, the bigger of a needy clinger you come off as.

Texts that are pathetic

Pathetic texts might get ignored too. Tests like I am depressed, don’t exactly make the person getting them want to strike up a conversation. Maybe if you are lucky they will send a cheer up text but in reality if you say I am depressed you are sort of fishing for the recipient to ask you why. And, they may not want to get embroiled into asking you why or hearing the answer. People get tired and don’t always have the capacity to have empathy about your personal problems so they shut down to avoid hearing it. Pathetic texts that have the potential of sucking somebody into a vortex of talking about upsetting things they don’t want to address, are often avoided. It’s like an oh no here she/he goes again, I better not respond to this because I will get too drawn into her problems gut reaction that they are having to your text. So they simply don’t respond to avoid the headache.

Interrogation or fishing texts

Texts like Where are you, or Who are you with, or What did you do last night, are interrogation like. If someone doesn’t want to be questioned as to their whereabouts or is in fact up to something sneaky, they are unlikely to respond. If they are supposed to be buying milk but are playing hooky with their golf buddy, why would they text you back. Texts that come off as questioning make you come off as suspicious and untrusting. Maybe they will send a Not up to much response back which basically dead ends you flat in the water. If they were cheating on you or lying to you then obviously they aren’t going to be giving you details about where they really were at or with whom. So why bother to ask. If someone wants to be sketchy and then you question their sketchiness, they tend to become more sketchy or disappear. It’s like, running from the police. They are going to be inclined to run from your text.

Fight starter texts

Some texts are really picking a fight. OK so texts such as You are such a liar or I am mad at you, or you are rude, or go jump in a like, or I wish we never met, or how dare you, are fight starters. Obviously if you send a fight starting text or flame someone on text they can either choose to engage in that fight with you or not. Some people may not have the time or patience to deal with your fight picking so they will just ignore your text. They do the rise above it behavior which is to ignore you and not respond or engage in a text mud fight.

Texts that are mentally imbalanced

When you send psyco texts like I never want to see you again, or I am standing in front of your window, or I just slashed your tires, these are scary texts. Seriously, what is the person supposed to say in response? These are texts that don’t get responses. The person you texted might go and block your number with their cell phone carrier so you can’t send them more threatening texts. If you compose a text that sounds harassing, it probably is so don’t send it.

You are getting blown off

Sometimes people hit a wall and even though you think you are in a tiff or a fight and that your friendship or relationship will continue, they have opted out. They don’t want to be with you, talk to you, or hear from you. In fact, maybe the person has broken up with you already and you just won’t take no for an answer. If you are getting blown off, don’t expect the person to respond. This is the situation that you are having a one way conversation because they have left the conversation and opted out of communications with you. Quite frankly, you should just leave them alone for a while.

The silent treatment

One biggie reason why the person you texted has not responded is because they are purposely giving you the silent treatment. It’s passive hostile treatment. They know perfectly well that you are waiting by your cell phone for their response and they are not responding on purpose. They are probably really mad at you and not responding just to be mean and to make a point. Maybe they want to teach you a lesson. Maybe they are hurt. In this case, don’t push it. Give them plenty of time to cool off and try one more time later.

Busy

At the beginning of a relationship two people might text all the time. Or with friends, they might text and then one starts school, a job, or some other family obligation comes up. People do get busy and tire of texting all the time. So if your friend stops responding consider that you are just texting them too much and they are using the busy excuse. People can’t be expected to invest hours a day on text message. Maybe at one point they had time but now they don’t. You need to just roll with it and adapt instead of pestering them. Try not to let it hurt your feelings. The best thing to do is to only send texts that matter and adapt the frequency of your texts to theirs. If you text at a pace that the recipient is comfortable with then they usually respond to texts. So, text less in this case in order to avoid upsetting a friend or lover who has other obligations or merely doesn’t want to invest as much text time as they used to.

A deluge of texts

If someone reads that their inbox has twenty texts from you and in those texts you are going ballistic or crying and whining over something, they might just get over whelmed and check out on you. In fact, text deluges and rages on text are often the watershed events that cause a person to decide they are going to ignore you completely. Sure maybe you had a point, but the recipient is going to think who needs this nonsense and they’ll contemplate drumming up some new friends who don’t swamp them on text message.

Fizzle on purpose

Sometimes early in the dating game the person you were dating just decides that you aren’t the one. For whatever reason either that they are a coward or that you would flip out, they don’t come right out and say it. They don’t break up. Instead, they just start to contact you less and less and less until you never hear from them at all. If this happens you should try not to be hurt by it even though it is indeed hurtful. It is their way of doing the breakup and if you chase after them and continue to pursue them when they are trying to drop big hints that they want to disappear from your life you will only get more addicted and ultimately hurt. If someone really wants to vanish from your life, there is no way that you can text them into changing their mind. Just let it go. Maybe they will miss you later and come back around.

Think about it this way. If they are 100% sure they want to dump you they will just tell you straight up to get lost. If they are only 80% sure then they might do a fizzle while they pursue other options. They avoid saying anything so that they themselves can waffle for a while with their foot still in the door. If you chase them by obsessively texting you are likely closing out even that 20% chance that they come back around on their own. So, even though they are fizzling the door is still open that they will get back in touch with you. For that reason, let them fizzle and leave the 20% option open that they will un-fizzle on their own. If they do un-fizzle, you can decide whether you want to respond to them!

Return to messenger

So before getting upset that the person you texted hasn’t responded, review the nature of your text message. It may be out of line. This person may have made it clear already that they don’t wish to hear from you. If you send text messages that are useless, needy, pathetic, mean, antagonistic, or you just send too many of them in general, don’t expect a response. You may want to reconsider even sending such texts to somebody that way you won’t get non-responded to and you won’t have anything to worry about. When in doubt, don’t text. Instead, wait until they text you. That gives you the power and control in the situation and then you can decide whether to text back with a response or not!

           

This entry was posted in Text Etiquette and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *