Why men hate it when you text them too much

Internet dating has leveled the dating playing field.  I had one man tell me just today, that he used to see a noticeable difference between the aggressiveness of men and women, now he sees none.  After going on some 20 plus Internet dates he concluded that the women were just as aggressive as the men in their pursuit.  And he viewed that agressive behavior as a total turnoff.  Here are a few big no-no’s with men among which texting too much is high on the list.

She texts too much

Men don’t like women that text too much.  They like to do the initiating.  When a women takes up the texting reins and begins to constantly text a man, he is totally turned off.  It takes away his ability to pursue her.  Men realize that the dating playing field is level these days, but that does not mean that they like it.

Texting too much will get you assigned a very simple label and that label is that she is aggressive.  Once a man has labeled you as that it is hard to shed that image.  Some men like aggressive women for a time, but most men ultimately don’t.  They want a woman who is more supportive and responsive, as opposed to aggressive.

She attacked me

I’ve heard this comment from quite a few men.  They mean it figuratively but are serious when they say it as the feel that intimacy started to escalate and claim it was the woman who was fully intending to get intimate.  Women can get swept away from strong chemistry with a particular man and should always think carefully about instant intimacy.  Just texting a man nonstop is pushy, making a blatant play on a man is also pushy.   Sending suggestive pictures to a man can be construed as pushy.

Men often talk about women they’ve met, such as through co-workers, friends, online dating web sites or social circles, and random women who pursued them.  In many cases they have dalliances with such women but oft times do not take the relationship seriously if they were the ones pursued. 

Men like to do the pursing.   Men like to engage in romantic dalliances but the women they actually value and respect tend to be the women that they were forced to have to get to know well before becoming intimate.  They like to make an effort.  You might have heard the saying that men who had to work for their own car value it way more than men who were gifted one on a silver platter.   The same viewpoint can be applied to women.

It was too easy

If he has to prove himself to you then he will value you more.  So what do you do if he’s out the door?  In other words, you text him and he is not responsive so you become the pursuer.  Or, you chase after him and become involved with him yet you’re the one doing all the work and you never really get to the level of being his actual girlfriend. 

Well, odds are if you have a superficial involvement with him then his interest level is just not high enough.  That’s when you decide if you’d like to continue to get to know him by pursuing him (since he is not pursuing you) or opt out.  The better choice is to opt out.  Seriously.  Leave him alone for a while and see if he comes back around on his own.  That way you don’t have to be an aggressive girl who texts him all the time.

She didn’t respect my time

Another big no-no with men is when you text so much that you invade their work time. Let’s say your boyfriend or man you are dating has just landed a big project at work and is swamped all week. So you congratulate him but as the week goes on you start to feel ignored. Finally, after a week of not hearing from him you blow your stack at how rude it is that he can’t even say hello or shoot you a quick message no matter how busy he claims to be.  After all, how long does it take to type hello.

This is horrible for the man. If he’s told you he’s busy and you don’t respect that and expect him to emotionally hand hold you by touching base all week, he won’t like it.  He doesn’t text to say hi because he doesn’t want to get sucked in and distracted.  Don’t blow your stack or get upset. Just leave him alone until he resurfaces and when he does let him know you are looking forward to doing something fun. That’s it.  That type of woman he is going to view as supportive.

If a woman does not respect a man’s work and head space then it is a sure relationship killer to him. Believe it or not, if he’s told you he’s busy and you continue to text you might be destroying your chances of having a relationship with him. In his head, he’s thinking, I want a woman that respects my busy life and likewise has a life of her own. If I tell her I’m down under on a project all week, she should respect that, be supportive and not try to selfishly distract me away from my career.

Hopefully these tips will help you understand a few of the reasons why men hate women who text them too much.


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