Will my ex girlfriend ever contact me?

I can only speak from a girls point of view on this question, so I will give you a girls perspective. I will try to lay out the types of breakups that will lead to yes her contacting you, verses the type that don’t. Girls don’t want to be the ones making the phone calls because they inherently believe that is the mans job in the relationship. But texting is a way she can get in touch with you, without making that phone call. We all know it is a phone call because by definition its her initiating contact, but a text makes it a little less obvious she justifies. If she really wants to talk to you but her pride stops her from calling, you’ll get a text. Consider even a text message from your ex girlfriend in this scenario as a good sign. When she does text you should take it one step further and just pick up the phone and call her up. Trust me, she wants you to call her. If you want to make up with your ex girlfriend and she texts you, call her up.

If you were dominant in the relationship, she’ll cave in and text or call

I think women do like a dominant man. If you are dominant in your approach, in your conversations, and in how you interact with women, they are going to be naturally more attracted to you. If you were a take control type of guy, who knew what you wanted and went for it, a woman would admire that immensely. Dominant does not mean being mean, it means being confident about who you are so much that you can be yourself and make no excuses, and even put yourself out on a limb and show her your vulnerable side. This type of guy might have some friction with women, like when a woman can’t manage to control or rely on a guy like this, that would cause relationship breakups. Ultimately though, I think a woman will follow a dominant man pretty far. So if your fight or breakup had to do with her breaking up because she couldn’t get what she wanted from you or failed to get you to do what she wanted, then I think there is a good chance that she would miss you and cave in and contact you. She’ll go through her whole no contact phase and she will try to be strong but eventually she’ll get worn down and look for an excuse to talk to you again. It will probably a text message so she can save face and not have to actually call which makes her look like she is groveling back to you.

If you were good at sex and rocked her world, she’ll cave in and call or send a text message to initiate making up

Well if you were a man, which you probably are if you are reading this, I would suggest that getting good at sex will make a woman literally addicted to you. If you can rock her world and do it well, she is going to always want to make up with you. I don’t mean just doing the deed, I mean really getting to know her on a gut level where you are the one guy she can let all her secrets out to and be naughty with. Everything from intense anticipation to talking crazy to mind blowing intimacy. If you are that guy, she might fight with you or have issues or breakup, but she will always try to contact you because deep down she will be hooked on you almost like a drug effect. If you are that guy, and you have a breakup, I think that you stand a good chance of her contacting you after you have broken up. If you knew how to make her go crazy in the bedroom and were giving her good orgasms that were intense and fulfilling then she will be back. It is such a simple fact that giving her mind blowing orgasms where you really connect and bond with her is the best way to keep her with you. If you two were really pretty carnal together and there was undeniable chemistry, she will be back. Just wait a while and she will cave in and text you for sure.

If she broke up because sparks were flat, she will not be back

I have been out and dated quite a few men that really liked me. We clicked somewhat physically and mentally and seemed to be a good match as a potential couple. But just because we were a good fit physically, geographically or on paper, or in his mind, didn’t mean I felt we were a good fit. The problem would arise, when I was not passionate about the man. Something just didn’t make me into them physically and mentally the way I needed to be. I need to have a gut level feeling that I can’t deny that I am into them. He’s the guy where I actually care about what I am going to wear on a date and if I have a date with him I am on cloud nine. He’s the guy where I want to get a text from him on my phone so bad that I look forward to it and any other text I get is just a let down sigh. Some women give guys a chance even if they don’t feel deeply attracted, but eventually reality will set in for even these girls and if the attraction deoesn’t develop the relationship will flat line.

If I dated you a while and I just didn’t feel that passion or interest level I thought I would, I would bail and I would not initiate any contact with you again. It’s like a light switch that flips off snd stays off. I would just leave this type of guy or simply refuse to go out with him again and he would have no idea why. If he asked me point blank I would say the truth which was that I just didn’t feel what I felt I needed to continue. Because honestly there would be no specific reason just some gut feeling in me that made me decide nope he is not for me. I would just say no after some dates and discontinue seeing him. I don’t want to waste my time duty dating or practice dating someone that I am not really into. For me, it is either on, or it is off, and you find that out within the first few months of knowing someone. You might think that just because you had sex and it was pretty good and you gave her an orgasm that you are getting somewhere with her. Wrong it takes a sustained strong chemistry and connection. Mundane sex that doesn’t really blow her mind is going to make her leave you. You can try to become a better lover but its almost a natural strong connection between two people that make them want to stay together.

So if you dated a while and the intense passion was really never there and you broke up, don’t expect to hear from her. These types of breakups are the no reason breakups. There is no specific reason she left. In other words, there wasn’t a big fight, blowout or issue at hand. It was just more of a click in her head that you weren’t the one and then she just opts out. When it comes from just a feeling on the part of the girl without any particular incident setting off the breakup, the odds that she will ever contact you again are slim to none.

If she broke up for commitment reasons she will not be back, unless you give her more

If a girl has it in her mind to progress a relationship and is running up against a brick wall with you, she will leave. She won’t be happy about leaving and honestly she may not have wanted to leave. But if she can’t get her agenda met and has tried time and again only to end up running up against a brick wall she might leave. One example of this would be lifestyle habits for example you drink and smoke and party and she isen’t really into it. Another example of this would be a woman who wants to settle down and get married and have children. Her biological clock is ticking. If you just aren’t on the same page and she concludes that investing more time into you is a dead end for her, she will leave. This girl won’t change her mind and be back for more of the same. This is the type of girl where you would have to contact her and give her more of a commitment, for her to want to get back together with you. I doubt she would text you or contact you if the breakup had to do with commitment and diverging life goals and mismatched time tables for settling down.

If she broke up over a fight, she will probably contact you

If you and your girlfriend broke up because you were fighting over issues then she will probably want to make up. Most fights can be corrected. If it was a watershed fight of monumental proportion then obviously no she is not going to contact you. For example, if you got physical or she caught you cheating on her she will probably not contact you. She is going to protect herself first and foremost. But if it was just run of the mill fighting and disagreements then she will contact you. If you are squabbling then you are still emotionally attached to each other and once she cools down she is likely to come back around. It’s when the person no longer cares and doesn’t even bother to engage with you that you would need to worry. If your girlfriend was already showing signs of mentally checking out on you when you were still together, she won’t be calling or texting after the fact.

As long as the fight that caused the break up was stage one or two, your chances of her contacting you are pretty high. If it was a stage five alarm fight, don’t expect her to text.

She will be back if you two were bonded

In the end though it has more to do with her gut level attraction and bond with you. If you have weathered some ups and downs with her, treated her well and stuck by her, then loyalty carries weight, almost as much as chemistry and attraction. Women value loyalty and though they might date a player they always try to settle down with the man who is loyal to her and treats her well overall. If you truly care about her well being and she knows it that counts for a lot. Things that she took for granted and that you helped her with she will have to do alone now. If you have a solid history with her and you two have a good bond then she is likely to return. The odds are in your favor. Anyone new can seem unfamiliar and alien to her. She might come to really miss you in coming months and text you in a moment of weakness just because she misses you. Getting back with a girl just because you have a history together can be risky. Even though she might text you and you two might miss each other, ask yourself if you have what it takes to stay together with her for the long haul.

What should you do in the mean time

If you and your girlfriend broke up you might want to give it some time to think about everything that happened and also to calm down. Sometimes your girlfriend might start dating someone new and you will despair over it. Believe it or not, if she really liked you then dating someone new will just make her think in her head that she would rather be with you. So, really, the new person does not have as huge of an effect as you would imagine. It is a little scary because it lets her draw a comparison and if she enjoys time spent with the new person then she won’t come back. But it has a higher chance of making her miss her history with you. She could be sitting and staring at this new person just wishing it was you instead.

Give her some time to herself. If you really want her to contact you then give it around two to six weeks of time apart. You could start dating other women if you feel like it. Watching you date other women is going to hurt her while simultaneously creating a feeling of loss in her that will make her more desperate to want you back. Be careful though because that means she might start to date too so it is a chance you take. You have to weigh out it you don’t mind hurting her by seeing other women is all. Even if you start to date though, it does not mean you can’t get back with her. If you really miss your ex girlfriend you could always take the first step and just call her up. If she’s missed you too then you will definitely sense it within that first phone call. If she contacts you first and you want to be back with her, pick up her lead and listen to her issues then, make up with her. If you are meant to make up it will probably happen within the course of a few months time. After a few months has gone by if you have not heard from your girlfriend whatsoever you can assume that she is trying in earnest to get on with the rest of her life and you should probably do the same.


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2 Responses to Will my ex girlfriend ever contact me?

  1. sal says:

    Me and my wife (7 years married) separated 4 months ago. I did the NO CONTACT and all the good tricks and after 2 months we met again four times, But I looked a little needy for sex and we stopped dating. Then I gave her the impression that if she does not want me I can find another woman. She is still angry with me like as always through the break up make me feel guilty for everything (all these through texts). I text her that I will go for a divorce and I keep cold attitude to her. Now I found her profile on a dating site. Her name is very obvious like she wanted me to find this.*In the past we had two more break ups but we reconciled again.* Tell me your opinion please if I can get her back and why she is on a dating site? Thank you!

    • admin says:

      She’s hiding behind the texts, and maybe even using the texts to bitch and vent. As far as the text messages go, I wouldn’t over respond or under respond. She’s just cat scratching with the whole text message thing. Try to acknowledge some of her texts here and there without getting into it too deep. Hopefully you will have a chance to see her rather than just texting with her. Ask her if she wants to get together and talk about it.

      If you want to get her back I would do two important things. First of all, start working out and getting into the best shape of your life. Also, read up some material on how to be an amazing lover. The reason I suggest this is that women sometimes look elsewhere when their man is not the lover of their dreams. Self-improvemet is essential. If you improve your body, looks, and skills, trust me she will notice. Every couple has their ups and downs so it is not over until the fat lady sings.

      You sound like you lost your “mojo” and that is what you need to get back to attract her home. When you hit a rough patch attraction can help you through it but not if you’ve become de-sexualized in her mind so you need to work on your own sex appeal. A woman who never feels like sleeping with you again will be far less likely to work on the relationship. When someone makes your skin crawl, you don’t feel like getting with them. That is probably why she is floundering around online.

      Secondly, try not to flip out over the Internet. Trust me when I say that the Internet is largely stupid and more of a sleazy meat market than anything else. It is so appealing at first to think that she can just jump online with a profile and replace you. But trust me she is jumping into the jungle and will only get taken advantage of. There are good looking men on there but many are just looking for sex, looking to play around,already in relationships or just getting out of them and experimenting with dating lots of people, or rebounding themselves.

      Everybody has some broken issue on there and after the fresh allure wears off your wife/ex will probably hate the Internet more than life itself. She is just having a typical but short-sighted I’ll find someone else and show him reaction. She may sleep around or do something incredibly stupid but it won’t last.

      If she’s not talking about divorce then you really needn’t either. Instead of a cold attitude towards her, you should work on yourself. Believe it or not men often wind up better off after a divorce in terms of their dating marketability. Just because she’s Miss Hot on the Internet right now really doesn’t mean squat. Work on yourself and don’t be cold to her. You’re way past the point of games. Improve yourself and let her act like an ding-dong online. Eventually she may come to her senses and you can let her know you want to work it out.

      When she comes to her senses suggest counseling and all that other good stuff because divorce sucks and you should only go down that road as the last resort. When you talk to your friends, don’t just talk to your divorced friends. Talk to the ones who have lasting marriages as well, because they are more likely to have weathered the storm like you’d like to. Lastly, it takes two. Sometimes you don’t have a choice in the matter because she has to want to be with you do. Give her some time and space to hopefully come to the same place you are.

      If she is texting and angry it is clearly negative attention yet any sort of attention shows she still cares. Even anger is a strong emotion that shows she is still vested in her emotions with you. Dispassion is the scariest. Crazy texts are crazy yet she may still be in the game with you, albeit unhealthily. She sounds impulsive yet clearly you’ve broken up and gotten back together before. Give it some more time and work on yourself most of all.

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