Have you ever been in the situation where a man is backing away and so you start texting him more? It’s a natural reaction. You feel him becoming less attracted so you try to take action by contacting him more, flirting, sending him sexy messages and so forth. These texts amount to convincing and convincing does not work. You can’t text him into being attracted to you.
If you’re texting in the hopes of convincing a man to feel what you want him to feel for you, it won’t work. You can’t text a man into feeling attracted to you and furthermore you can’t text a man into wanting to be in a relationship with you.
Emotional attraction
In order for a man to want to be with you on his own volition, he has to be emotionally drawn to you. You can have all of the resume traits he is looking for such as career, looks, money, personality, style and friends. But if he doesn’t feel emotionally attracted to you then your pedigree won’t make a bit of difference.
Physical attraction is easy to come by. If you pass the turn on barometer with him he will probably pursue a physical interaction. Intellectual attraction is easy to come by as well. If he thinks you’re smart and have your act together he might think you are smart and have your act together! But do either of these traits physical or intellectual make him want to pursue a deeper relationship with him? Nope. He will only pursue more if he is emotionally attracted and just can’t get enough of you.
If a man is not emotionally attracted to you he will be too busy
If a man is not emotionally attracted to you then you’re always going to get excuses from him. He won’t text back, he’ll go missing, he’ll be vacuous about any relationship topics. He’ll even flat out tell you he is to busy to pursuing a serious relationship with you. He’ll say he only wants to date casually. He’ll say anything he can think of to soften the blow that his interest in you just isen’t there right now. It’s going to take emotional attraction to draw him in, not just the fact that you are a catch on paper.
Busy is a big excuse to soften rejection. If a man feels emotionally attracted to you then he is going to want to get to know you better and better and time will magically become available for him to see you and pay attention to you.
If a man is not emotionally attracted to you he will find ways to ensure that the relationship is not progressing
If emotional attraction is missing for him there will be tell tale signs of it. For one thing you’ll be confused. He either won’t be calling you back or he’ll be busy and calling back less often than he used to. He won’t text you back right away. For months you’ll make excuse after excuse for him even excuses that he never even thought up. But when you really look at it, that is all they are. Excuses. You’ll figure out that the relationship isen’t progressing for one reason and for one reason only – he doesn’t want it to progress.
You’ll find your interactions to be more based on physical than based on hanging out. If you are not going out and doing things or at least invited to do some of his errands or be around his friends, then he is not emotionally attracted.
If you press him on a relationship he will say things like I am not ready for a relationship, I am busy, I can’t deal with it right now, I’m not over someone else, I’m enjoying being single right now, or he’ll just go ghost and make himself way less available to you. All of these are signs that he is not emotionally attracted to you. He may still be physically attracted and want intimate encounters with you, but he is not emotionally attracted enough to spend real quality time with you.
If you want to change the course of the relationship don’t text do this instead: Stop actively trying
If you are dead set on trying to change the course of your relationship with him then instead of texting, try this. Try doing nothing. Don’t keep inventing cute reasons to contact him. Just start doing nothing. Stop trying to dream up reasons to have conversations. Stop asking him for plans. Stop contacting him first.
It flies in the face of all reason for a woman to do nothing. Because if a woman wants a man she is prepared to work overtime to pursue him, go after him, please him and try to make him happy. Sadly, this desire can translate into pushiness. That’s why doing nothing can really be doing something. When you are doing nothing you are not blowing it by trying to convince him to be with you. When you are doing nothing you aren’t smothering him.
You have to back off. It sounds so easy because when a woman really wants a man she is thrown into pursuit action. She is obsessed. So, sitting back and doing nothing is like pulling teeth. It’s like being communication muzzled. It’s torture. You’re so busy trying to shove your great personality and wonderful qualities down his throat that he is running for the hills. The more you text, the more he runs.
Work on improving your behavior and becoming the playful fun girl he was originally attracted to
Once you’ve backed off then try to make an assessment about the time you are spending together. Are you too boring, are you walking on eggshells to try and please him, or being a phony perfect version of yourself? Maybe there are things you are doing that are making him feel the exact opposite of attracted. Remember, men love a bubbly girl that is fun to be around and that makes him feel good.
If you are constantly complaining or asking for more it is not an attraction behavior. Stop contact him or trying to drag him through the relationship talk. Stop pushing and forcing him to analyze you. If you’re obsessing keep it to your self and don’t drag him down into you persevering mud. Instead, work on yourself and becoming more upbeat, happy and fun to be around.
Instead of texting him and talking to him and trying to ask for more or ask what is wrong, work on being your best real self. The next time you spend time with him just have fun and be playful. Then, don’t contact him in between. The best way to get him closer is to work on emotionally attracting him when you two are together and then leaving him completely alone when you are not.
If he’s back peddling out of the relationship path work on improving your own behavior rather than badgering him. If you change for the better, his emotional attraction to you has the best chance to increase. If you damage his emotional attraction by pursuing him too aggressively, your relationship is doomed.
|
