You flirt, text, go on a nice date, yet he never calls you back

You met, exchanged cell phone numbers, he called you on the phone, you texted back and forth. You went on your first date and you thought it went smoothly and felt some chemistry towards him. Then, he never calls you back and you are confounded as to why.  This is the stuff dating self help advice books are made of.   If it has happened to you, it may be that he just wasn’t inspired to have to ever see you again.

Why didn’t he call me back after a date

Just because a date when smoothly and seemingly without a hitch does not mean that he will call you.  He is going to act nice on the date, no doubt.  He was interested enough to put himself on a date with you.  But just because a date goes well does not mean that you will hear from him again.  He needs more than it just going well.  He needs to be inspired to have to see you again and get to know you a little bit better.

If you don’t hear from him you might conclude that you weren’t attractive enough or maybe that you weren’t his type.  This might be true in some cases however in many cases you may have made mistakes on that date that caused him to lose inspiration.  Here are a few pitfalls to watch out for on the dates.  Avoid these, and you may get a text message from him that very day asking you out again.

Avoid playing dead on the date so that he is inspired to call you back

In an attempt to be the perfect demure date you may come off as someone boring.  Remember that he wants to see a bubbly girl with a good personality.  If you are too self conscious about saying something that will rub him the wrong way you might come off as unexciting.  If you have the same thing he’s having at dinner and then proceed to agree with everything he says, boring!  Don’t be phony or agreeable just to make an impression.  As long as you are polite it is fine to show a bit of your real personality to him.  He doesn’t want to date a wax figure.

Avoid interrogating him so that he is inspired to text or call you back after the date

If you become too formal on the date and start exchanging pedigrees he could become incredibly bored.  You’d be better off thumb wrestling him than giving him a police grilling on his life story.  Don’t get too boring or dig into his background too much.  He’ll feel like he is getting grilled not like he is having a good time.  In order to call you back he has to feel like he had a good time with you.

Be fun to be around

Men when they go on a date want to have fun.  They don’t want to be grilled, interviewed, criticized or attacked.  They just want to have a good time.  He isen’t going to fall for you just because you have this and that career and degree or background.  He is going to fall for you if you make him feel good.

Boring is unattractive.  Too much boring talk like jobs, family, background, family history can be stale.  This is not an investigation it is a date that is supposed to be fun. Talk about playful things, mischief, recreation, vacations, passions and interests instead.  He’d probably want to hear about you snorkeling in Hawaii and getting stung by a jellyfish more than he wants to hear about why you got divorced etc. 

He’s looking for playful and even a bit of bad, not a life story.  If he didn’t call you back you may want to consider if you talked mostly about mundane things like jobs and past relationship sob stories.  If you take his mind away from life’s problems for a couple of hours and even get him to focus on something fun and silly he’ll have a blast with you.  You can flirt, talk about more nonsensical things and even play tease him.

If you want to get called back after a date you have to make that date be enjoyable.  Don’t be boring.  Just being super nice, making him feel comfortable and getting along with him may not cut it.  That will get him to be your friend, or friend with benefits.  What you want to do is stop becoming his mother, therapist or a police detective.  Men love women with a positive attitude, shining personality, and who are not complainers.  Leave your negativity baggage at the door.  Just be playful.

Float onto different topics, throw him for a few loops, let him know that you are bubbly and can have a fun debate too.  He needs to get his heart pumping a little bit more in order to see you as a love interest and not just a potential friend or casual intimate partner.  Remember always that if you want a call back he is going to have to feel emotionally drawn to you and inspired to see you again.  Your best bet for a call back is to to be beautiful, radiant and just plain fun to be around. 

Get him to call you back after a date


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