Are you realizing that you let the text message thing with him go too far? If you evolved to the point of no return where you talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend mostly using text message, and you’ve allowed that pattern of communication to take hold, you may be doing more harm than good. Texting is supposed to add to a communicative relationship, not be the sole form of communication in a relationship.
Men especially, will sink to the lowest level of communication. They are conditioned to be efficient and will often do the least amount of work humanly possible to continue a relationship. So if you were texting with him almost exclusively without ever making him have to call you, you may have done yourself in by training him that that was OK. Text only relationships are never ok because they are one way tickets to booty calls, friends with benefits, casual flings and radical disappearing acts.
Now you barely talk at all … because you aren’t in a relationship
Have you ever dated anybody where everything is going swimmingly at first but then gradually you realize your only form of communication is texting back and forth? After a while, you barely even talk to one another. If you have a boyfriend that literally doesn’t even answer the phone when you call because he knows that he doesn’t need to, then you’ve gotten to the point of no return. You’ve texted yourself out of the running to ever be his girlfriend in this lifetime. Time to get a new guy.
If you notice that he doesn’t ever use his phone to call you there is a name for this and its called a non relationship. You aren’t in one at all. It is the lowest of the low low low. Its worse than not even knowing a person. If he knows you hate it when he ignores you, and he ignores you every time he goes to hang out with his friends, you’ve arrived … nowhere.
Now if you love him then you might have a hard time breaking the habit. He’s not going to change and so you lower your own standards down and just use text to communicate. You try talking to him but he just gets mad or gives you the silent treatment or treats you like an annoying complainer. So you settle for just the text crumbs. Bad idea. Eventually your resentment will boil over and you will implode into being angry and eventually really bitter over how he treats you.
Make him care .. or make him to go away
You can tell your boyfriend that you don’t like it when he ignores you and you don’t like it when he blows you off and doesn’t text back. But if you aren’t willing to leave the relationship because of how he treats you, he will likely continue to do whatever works for him. The longer he is allowed to do it, the more reticent he will be about changing his ways. He won’t ever have an epiphany that he should be respecting you more.
It’s like a dog that has learned he can creep up to the bed and jump on it even though he shouldn’t. He weasels his way because if he’s real slinky his owner will make and exception and he can shimmy up and in and get away with it. And he knows it.
The main reason you will find yourself in a relationship where is he has dwindled to just text, is because he does not not care about you combined with you allowed him to dwindle things. If you didn’t like the way communication was going and you told him so, and you didn’t opt out of the relationship when he continued to disrespect you, well then that is as good as accepting the bad behavior. Then when you complain about it (after accepting it by virtue of sticking around) it makes you look like the nut job. There is no winning in a non relationship.
After however many convos where you start texting then he cuts you off or fades out and doesn’t get back to you, you wind up here on a web site like this one. You got here because you start to type into google things like, why does he ignore my texts. And you start to fight with him constantly about texting. Then you find yourself trying to adapt. He doesn’t get in contact with you but for a text once a week, and you try to tolerate it even though it upsets you beyond belief. You lap up the crumbs and your non relationship continues.
If it doesn’t feel like a relationship, it isen’t one
If things start to be a struggle over texts, who is contacting who, who is responding or not responding, and who just disappeared off the map, then you aren’t in a relationship. Women agonize over imbecilic text relationships and they aren’t able to mentally step out of the box they are in and realize they aren’t in a relationship at all.
More than likely they are a booty call, sex pal, friends with benefits without the friendship even, repeating random encounter, or casual sex partner. You may as well be with a stranger you met at the local bar and take home, its that bad. Even if you’ve known your guy for a while so it some how feels sort of like a relationship or a casual relation, it isen’t. Just because you know him it doesn’t mean much.
Trust me when he doesn’t ever call you, won’t pick up the phone, only texts you when he feels like it, and only responds to your texts when he feels like it, or only responds to sexually suggestive texts that you send, hear the message loud and clear. You are nothing to this person. You aren’t with this person, you aren’t into a relationship with this person, you aren’t respected by this person, you are in fact hated by this person, and you may just be a random sex partner to a passively aggressive hostile person who really doesn’t even like you. You’re a convenience. A shag. It’s a don’t text me, I’ll text you relationship. A non relationship. The worst kind of relationship for you to be in from an emotional standpoint.
So please girls, don’t bother to get angry if your so called boyfriend is ignoring you, hasn’t texted you, never calls you and never picks up the phone for you. Just realize you aren’t even in a relationship with this jerk and you need to cut bait. Stop texting this guy, stop demoralizing yourself, and go back to the bright side of your life where you have friends who at least text you back.
If you’ve allowed a guy to degenerate his communication with you down to text crumbs, or all you are getting is text crumbs, it’s time to recognize you will never be in the running to be this guys girlfriend. Guys who have girlfriends don’t treat them like this.
The next time he creeps around after blowing you off tell him straight up you don’t like being a plan b and an after thought. Tell him if he wants you around he is going to have to pick up the communication. And if he doesn’t, drop him like its hot. You don’t have to be over dramatic and you don’t have to text with him 24/7. But if he’s downright dissing you, just tell him to beat it.
If he doesn’t care about your friendship, you aren’t in a relationship
If he doesn’t care about your friendship, then you aren’t in a relationship. Friends get back to each other and are somewhat reliable. If you aren’t his friend and you aren’t in a relationship, you should refuse to get physically intimate with someone like him. You shouldn’t have to chase down a friendship from someone you are intimate with. He should be capable of getting back to you, calling you and showing sweet gestures. If he doesn’t have the balls to communicate with you, he doesn’t deserve to be dating you much less touching you.
If you have ever tried to contact your boyfriend for a few days and he never ever texts you back, its time to get rid of that boyfriend. He doesn’t care about you, isen’t putting you as a priority, and probably doesn’t even consider you as his girlfriend anyways. Don’t keep texting every few hours to try and cajole him back to talking to you. He knows where you are at and if he wanted to talk to you he would without any convincing on your part.
Don’t bombard him with texts … its just noise and won’t help anyways
If a guy really likes you he will find time to text you. Whatever his job, he will find a moment at break-time, lunch time, before work or after work or every couple of days. There is no need to bombard him with texts. You should not have to text him every day just to tell him random things. Be a little more mysterious and don’t always let him know what you are up to.
Don’t be begging for attention and food (texts) like a doggie at its dinner bowl. Don’t beg or grovel to get a crumb of a text from him. Just know that if he really cared about being in touch with you, he would be in touch with your regularly, not intermittently.
Weed out the users from your life by writing off the men who only give you text crumbs
Hopefully you will realize that if you are only communicating via text message and even through this medium are not reliably hearing from him, you probably don’t have a relationship with him. Think twice about intimacy with someone who is doing this to you, as the chances are they don’t care about you. It doesn’t matter who else he’s with, who will get him if you leave, and how good of a catch he is, because he isen’t yours to lose. He is just using you.